I think of the Savior, His love, His life.
Mary, cuddling this sweet baby
looking into His clear eyes
Wondering what His life would hold,
Knowing even then that expectations
Seemingly impossible would be placed on Him
What sacred protectiveness she felt
Feeling the Holy Ghost strengthening her
With God, nothing is impossible
I don’t feel inadequate when
I’m allowing the Spirit to touch us
We feel Holy power and strength beyond our own
Jesus choose to come to this earth
He loves us, I am important to Him
He wants me to choose right so I can be with Him
When I allow His love I don’t want wrong
May I allow His love in my heart
His will is my will, because He is the right
He knows what I need what is best
In Him I can trust
Written December 9, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Family in Town
I have gained so much admiration on top of what I already felt for my sister-in-law. We've had my husbands brother's family here with nine of their ten kids, their oldest is on a mission and their youngest is not yet three. So we have six growing big boys and 2 young girls along with my three growing kids that went through 3 bags of cereal in one morning. Every meal, every outing, every day is an adventure, fun and exciting though too. It has been a fun challenge planning meals and putting them together and working out the legistics of space and all. Yet, somehow we've been fine and things have worked out, I have not yet lost my mind and I'm learning skills and tricks to feeding large groups several times a day. I've watched my K & M hand out chores to their kids and how they communicate and work with all these children. How M gets the kids to do things without even raising her voice. It seems like a big key is consistency and commitment, and lots of love.
When we were walking around the local campus as a big group, I thought it was really neat for these kids, they will always know they belong with their family and they have a group that they will always belong to. One brother had cruches and couldn't make the long walk, his older brother stayed and sat with him and later even gave him a piggy-back ride to meet up with the big 15 passenger van. Of course they have fights and sibling squabbles but their mom would just stop the car or withhold doing things until they could get along again. These parents love each one of their ten children and the children each know they are loved. They read scriptures together they pray together they work together. There are so many things I have learned to do with my children. Of course I'm writing my blog instead of implimenting all of this with my kids because I'm so tired.
It has been exhausting but fun and so much easier on us as the host instead of being the guest. I am so grateful we've had family come visit us this summer. It is so much easier on our pocket-book, on our children's sleep, on our sleep to be able to stay in our own home and have people visit, esspecially since we have still young children which are so hard to travel with. I think a key with family visiting is just loving and helping eachother, respecting one another and communicating. Wow, I'm so tired to think in and out of everyday is like this and even more crazy when not on vacation for K & M is amazing. I am so grateful for parents like them who bring these beautiful children into the world and raise them to be wonderful citizens, wonderful people and wonderful parents themselves one day.
When we were walking around the local campus as a big group, I thought it was really neat for these kids, they will always know they belong with their family and they have a group that they will always belong to. One brother had cruches and couldn't make the long walk, his older brother stayed and sat with him and later even gave him a piggy-back ride to meet up with the big 15 passenger van. Of course they have fights and sibling squabbles but their mom would just stop the car or withhold doing things until they could get along again. These parents love each one of their ten children and the children each know they are loved. They read scriptures together they pray together they work together. There are so many things I have learned to do with my children. Of course I'm writing my blog instead of implimenting all of this with my kids because I'm so tired.
It has been exhausting but fun and so much easier on us as the host instead of being the guest. I am so grateful we've had family come visit us this summer. It is so much easier on our pocket-book, on our children's sleep, on our sleep to be able to stay in our own home and have people visit, esspecially since we have still young children which are so hard to travel with. I think a key with family visiting is just loving and helping eachother, respecting one another and communicating. Wow, I'm so tired to think in and out of everyday is like this and even more crazy when not on vacation for K & M is amazing. I am so grateful for parents like them who bring these beautiful children into the world and raise them to be wonderful citizens, wonderful people and wonderful parents themselves one day.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Ups and Downs
Is it interesting how our energy levels can go up and down and our emotions. I talk to other women and I wonder if it is a woman thing. I'll go through so many emotions, I'll have a wonderful day just playing and being happy with my kids, the next day everything sets me off and I have no energy and feel crazy. So not only those cycles but the cycles women in general have every month, I get headaches and oneryness before those cycles. This one has been particularly bad, even clots so I think it might actually be an early miscarriage. I am sad about it but maybe because I never actually took the pregnancy test and it would have been really early like 4 weeks I can sort of tell myself it isn't happening. Though emotionally and physically I feel drained and sad. It usually takes me 2-3 years to get pregnant so in my mind it just isn't time yet, my babies not even two yet, that's what I tell myself.
My husband's mother just came into town this last week, you should have seen the energy I had I got the house clean top to bottom, and soon we'll have more family tonight or tomorrow, but I'm a bit drained right now so I'll take it slow and do what I can, they have ten kids, I'm sure they'll understand if everything isn't perfect. I do like having guests it gets me to clean my house and gives me energy to do it and organize beyond the daily stuff. I love having family come here, it is so much easier then traveling elsewhere with little ones. It is so nice to see family, I have great in-laws and it was so neat to marry into a family where I could have older sisters, I always wanted older sisters and I got my wish when I married.
My family was all here earlier in June, it was so fun, but short at the same time, it seems like when we got comfortable again with eachother then everyone had to go their separate ways. It's nice there is eternity with family, to know we can be together forever. I dread my children growning up sometimes, I want them to, but I love how close we are now while they are young. Yet I don't know quite how it works, but they will be my family forever if I can try to make good choices and choose the right, what better incentive could I have then to be part of Heavenly Father's family and live with Him again with my husband and children.
My husband's mother just came into town this last week, you should have seen the energy I had I got the house clean top to bottom, and soon we'll have more family tonight or tomorrow, but I'm a bit drained right now so I'll take it slow and do what I can, they have ten kids, I'm sure they'll understand if everything isn't perfect. I do like having guests it gets me to clean my house and gives me energy to do it and organize beyond the daily stuff. I love having family come here, it is so much easier then traveling elsewhere with little ones. It is so nice to see family, I have great in-laws and it was so neat to marry into a family where I could have older sisters, I always wanted older sisters and I got my wish when I married.
My family was all here earlier in June, it was so fun, but short at the same time, it seems like when we got comfortable again with eachother then everyone had to go their separate ways. It's nice there is eternity with family, to know we can be together forever. I dread my children growning up sometimes, I want them to, but I love how close we are now while they are young. Yet I don't know quite how it works, but they will be my family forever if I can try to make good choices and choose the right, what better incentive could I have then to be part of Heavenly Father's family and live with Him again with my husband and children.
Monday, June 30, 2008
What do you think about in the middle of the night?
When your up with children and crickets, what do you think about? Its funny but I playout frustrating times. It seems like the frustrating times are when there were unpleasant circumstances that I didn't feel like I could properly communicate to help myself out of them. Last night I remembered when I was pregnant, working full-time 8-5 and living in student housing.
Our neighbors through the wall had a baby that would scream from 1 or 2 am until 6 am everynight. Our ciderblock walls reverberated the sound and the child might as well have been in our bed crying in my ear. The only difference is I could go and comfort the baby, rock it, sing to it and feed it and put it back to sleep. I felt it would be rude to the poor parents I didn't know how to bring it up without being presumptious. I don't think the parents once got up with that child. Maybe they were nieve parents who expected babies to sleep through the night right away and let her cry it out, maybe they were deep sleepers and didn't even hear her cry, maybe they had no idea how miserable it was for us, maybe the baby was teething. I'll never know because I never talked to them about it the cloest thing was with sympathy in my voice I asked if their baby was teething, I just wanted to know why, why why???
I wished I had talked to them, maybe offered to come rock the baby or feed her a bottle, or at least know that they were trying to comfort her or had done what they could. I used almost all my sick time at my job to catch up on sleep during those months, on those nights I only got 2-3 hours of sleep calling in and letting my supervisor know I'd be a little late so I could just get a few more hours of sleep so I could function.
Of course I don't know if this is related or not, but the baby I was pregnant with turned out to be colic, and we would spend countless hours up with our daughter as she screamed, bright red, standing stiff as a standing board during the ungodly hours of the night. I'd rock her for 6-8 hours a day, luckily she was my first and I could do that and sleep when she finally slept. I'd often lay on the floor with one hand on her bouncy seat at night so I could bounce it for her when she started up again. My husband and I worked it out that on week days when he had work I'd only wake him up if it was the fifth time up with the baby and on weekends he'd be up everyother time.
I had a sweet lady who lived in the apartment above me who was like a second mom, Sister Preito from Brazil. She would give me lunch and give me tips and help hold my baby and show me little tricks of the trade everyday. Always build me up and tell me I was a wonderful mother helping me so much when I was feeling discouraged and down. She will always have a place in heaven in my book, an angel. Of course I had wonderful family too and my sweet husband, maybe I won't judge after all that poor couple through the cinderblock walls in our student apartments.
Our neighbors through the wall had a baby that would scream from 1 or 2 am until 6 am everynight. Our ciderblock walls reverberated the sound and the child might as well have been in our bed crying in my ear. The only difference is I could go and comfort the baby, rock it, sing to it and feed it and put it back to sleep. I felt it would be rude to the poor parents I didn't know how to bring it up without being presumptious. I don't think the parents once got up with that child. Maybe they were nieve parents who expected babies to sleep through the night right away and let her cry it out, maybe they were deep sleepers and didn't even hear her cry, maybe they had no idea how miserable it was for us, maybe the baby was teething. I'll never know because I never talked to them about it the cloest thing was with sympathy in my voice I asked if their baby was teething, I just wanted to know why, why why???
I wished I had talked to them, maybe offered to come rock the baby or feed her a bottle, or at least know that they were trying to comfort her or had done what they could. I used almost all my sick time at my job to catch up on sleep during those months, on those nights I only got 2-3 hours of sleep calling in and letting my supervisor know I'd be a little late so I could just get a few more hours of sleep so I could function.
Of course I don't know if this is related or not, but the baby I was pregnant with turned out to be colic, and we would spend countless hours up with our daughter as she screamed, bright red, standing stiff as a standing board during the ungodly hours of the night. I'd rock her for 6-8 hours a day, luckily she was my first and I could do that and sleep when she finally slept. I'd often lay on the floor with one hand on her bouncy seat at night so I could bounce it for her when she started up again. My husband and I worked it out that on week days when he had work I'd only wake him up if it was the fifth time up with the baby and on weekends he'd be up everyother time.
I had a sweet lady who lived in the apartment above me who was like a second mom, Sister Preito from Brazil. She would give me lunch and give me tips and help hold my baby and show me little tricks of the trade everyday. Always build me up and tell me I was a wonderful mother helping me so much when I was feeling discouraged and down. She will always have a place in heaven in my book, an angel. Of course I had wonderful family too and my sweet husband, maybe I won't judge after all that poor couple through the cinderblock walls in our student apartments.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Another GIrls night
Last night I had a bit of spontaneous night out with my neighbor. We went to her sisters and help move furniture and redecorate her house and shelves in preparation for selling the home. My husband thought it was a weird night out, but it was fun to drive in the car and talk, redecorate someone elses house and be creative. Also it's nice to do a project finish it and leave and not see it all messed up, like with housework at home.
It's been a little crazy at home and I've felt like I've been so busy and working hard, but it doesn't always show. Like I've been organizing and sorting through papers and finances, actually saw the bottom of the laundry floor (actually got through my whole mountain of laundry) and deep cleaned the whole room. I've been waking up early and going to bed late with the help of the birds, allergies and children. So it was so nice to get away and do something different and new. We did pick up some ice cream sandwiches and juice as a treat.
So today the focus is making the rest of the house look clean and organized now that I have some underlying things done like laundry and filiing. I have to get the kids to help me pick up and clean the guest room downstairs. Sometimes the kids use it as their crazy room, I let them jump on that bed and it is where the dress -up is stored and all our extra bedding so you can imagine sometimes I'll wander into that remote part of the house and have to stiffle a scream. I have family coming in and it is amazing how fast you can get things done when you have a deadline when someone is coming over. Anyways, it was nice to have a get away doing something new.
It's been a little crazy at home and I've felt like I've been so busy and working hard, but it doesn't always show. Like I've been organizing and sorting through papers and finances, actually saw the bottom of the laundry floor (actually got through my whole mountain of laundry) and deep cleaned the whole room. I've been waking up early and going to bed late with the help of the birds, allergies and children. So it was so nice to get away and do something different and new. We did pick up some ice cream sandwiches and juice as a treat.
So today the focus is making the rest of the house look clean and organized now that I have some underlying things done like laundry and filiing. I have to get the kids to help me pick up and clean the guest room downstairs. Sometimes the kids use it as their crazy room, I let them jump on that bed and it is where the dress -up is stored and all our extra bedding so you can imagine sometimes I'll wander into that remote part of the house and have to stiffle a scream. I have family coming in and it is amazing how fast you can get things done when you have a deadline when someone is coming over. Anyways, it was nice to have a get away doing something new.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Not so good idea
So, I tried the one month shopping thing, not such a good idea. Its the end of the month and I ended up going over budget because we had run out of groceries two weeks early. Yes, I still have stuff from the big shopping, but I think the key really is meal planning. Which is easier to do on a weekly basis, still buy that bulk stuff but spread it out over the month into the weekly shopping. Good news is I still have a months worth of diapers and wipes I won't have to buy next month and it will probably even itself out over two months, but I find it easier to stay on budget and have what I need with the weekly shopping, much better idea.
Also, even though my husband has been willing, I've been lax about taking my night off, infact I haven't taken a decent night off for a month at least. Yes, my husband broke his pinky and had a cast, then I had to do emergency bill paying, then a tax night, then just get caught up on the house night. So I'm arranging with my mom and sisters to have a girl night, and then take off for a library, shopping, exercise night. Just plan ahead and be prepared for a night off, I really do need them and they truly contribute to my sanity and happiness. I am also looking into taking an art class or a math class (so I can finish a promise I made to a professer long ago, whole different story). I was able to have a book group for an hour last week and I have a wonderful neighbor who helps out so much. In fact she just came over so she could get out of the house and we just visited while I did housework, and she pitched in too, it was so fun, now that is a good idea.
Also, even though my husband has been willing, I've been lax about taking my night off, infact I haven't taken a decent night off for a month at least. Yes, my husband broke his pinky and had a cast, then I had to do emergency bill paying, then a tax night, then just get caught up on the house night. So I'm arranging with my mom and sisters to have a girl night, and then take off for a library, shopping, exercise night. Just plan ahead and be prepared for a night off, I really do need them and they truly contribute to my sanity and happiness. I am also looking into taking an art class or a math class (so I can finish a promise I made to a professer long ago, whole different story). I was able to have a book group for an hour last week and I have a wonderful neighbor who helps out so much. In fact she just came over so she could get out of the house and we just visited while I did housework, and she pitched in too, it was so fun, now that is a good idea.
Monday, May 12, 2008
To women
I'd like to pay tribute to so many wonderful women in my life, mothers and not-yet mother's. My little sister who my kids love, my mom's mission companion who has remembered all of my babies and brought sugar cookies, ornaments, wonderful things for us every Christmas. For my Aunt stuck between a bunch of brothers who is creative and thoughtful and helping with crafts and ideas all the time. Of my kids nursury leader who even helped me out watching my kids in a pinch the day after Christmas. To my writing group all of them friends and women I have only gotten to feel like sisters with. To my book group and including me in all of their smarts. Of a wonderful nurse in my neighborhood who travels, is full of wisdom and is an amazing teacher. To my sisters who now treat me like the little sister, they really do seemed to have more wisdom then me sometimes, to my sister-in-laws putting up with my brothers. Of many older women who are my friends, age no longer matters except in the fact they have lived life so much longer than me and I can just bask in their knowledge and wisdom. To my friends who I could talk hours to who I could call upon anytime if I needed help. My namesake mother, my mother-in-law who shares the same name and raised a son they can do laundry, cook, clean, work hard and provide and be so sweet with me and our children. My grandmothers who are now both past who I loved so much. My very own sweet mother who I will feel sucessful if I can be half as sacrificing, amazing and wonderful as she was to me as a mother and who now is a friend to me too.
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Shopping adventures
I just spent a bunch of money at Costco. I'm trying something new, monthly grocery shopping and I just had to keep telling myself, it is for the whole month. When I got home I divided fruit snacks, granola bars into smaller weekly bags so we don't go through them in one week and put extra cheese, meats, bread, butter, tortillas into the freezer. I had never spent so much on groceries in one go it was a little scary.
I then actually had to go clothes shopping for my seven-year-old who is already in size 10 and just shooting up like a weed. She has now grown taller then everyone we used to get hand-me-downs from. I realized her tennis shoes were two sizes too small and she had hardly any short-sleeve shirts or sweat pants for the sports I have her in. At her dance class she was the only one actually in a leotard, I guess shorts and tee-shirts are the dance attire for her age. I want her to feel beautiful and that she fits in. I fortunatly was able to find some very decently priced clothes and 50% off clothes for her at Target. I actually paid full price for the shoes. Even with all that I'm not used to clothes and shoe shopping much so it seemed like a lot. Then I about had a heart-attack when I got home and I couldn't find the bags I thought I had left them in the cart. Fortunately they were in the back with the groceries.
I'm back incharge of finances, so my husband can help out with other things. I hope I can live up to the trust he has in me and I can keep us on budget and on track. Its stressful, but stimulating too, to have a non-parenting responsiblity that uses another part of my brain. Just like taxes, I'm the one who does it every year and my husband says I make 500$ an hour, because of the tax return I figure at the end. (I thought that was cute).
I then actually had to go clothes shopping for my seven-year-old who is already in size 10 and just shooting up like a weed. She has now grown taller then everyone we used to get hand-me-downs from. I realized her tennis shoes were two sizes too small and she had hardly any short-sleeve shirts or sweat pants for the sports I have her in. At her dance class she was the only one actually in a leotard, I guess shorts and tee-shirts are the dance attire for her age. I want her to feel beautiful and that she fits in. I fortunatly was able to find some very decently priced clothes and 50% off clothes for her at Target. I actually paid full price for the shoes. Even with all that I'm not used to clothes and shoe shopping much so it seemed like a lot. Then I about had a heart-attack when I got home and I couldn't find the bags I thought I had left them in the cart. Fortunately they were in the back with the groceries.
I'm back incharge of finances, so my husband can help out with other things. I hope I can live up to the trust he has in me and I can keep us on budget and on track. Its stressful, but stimulating too, to have a non-parenting responsiblity that uses another part of my brain. Just like taxes, I'm the one who does it every year and my husband says I make 500$ an hour, because of the tax return I figure at the end. (I thought that was cute).
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Lasting days
Memorable days time passing like a needle through the day
My daughter in a play, wearing my old high school formal
My husband so vulnerable under anesthetic, surgery on a pinkie finger
My son endeared to me, struggling to know how to deal with boiling emotions
My baby clinging to me trying to find security loving her walks
I wonder how to make my home peaceful, how to deal with the teasing siblings
How to manage time so the important things are taught and sought after
How to care for the health and well-being of the family
Crying over others sadness and struggles feeling so blessed and grateful for what we have
The sunshine comes often at the end of the clouded days, giving life
My daughter in a play, wearing my old high school formal
My husband so vulnerable under anesthetic, surgery on a pinkie finger
My son endeared to me, struggling to know how to deal with boiling emotions
My baby clinging to me trying to find security loving her walks
I wonder how to make my home peaceful, how to deal with the teasing siblings
How to manage time so the important things are taught and sought after
How to care for the health and well-being of the family
Crying over others sadness and struggles feeling so blessed and grateful for what we have
The sunshine comes often at the end of the clouded days, giving life
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Worry to Joy
It is amazing how we often cause our own trials and stress. My husband fractured his finger and was running late to work because he was at the doctors. I get a call saying there is a big company meeting he has to be to at 11:30. So in panic I try to get a hold of him at the doctors and get transfered 5 times and then put on hold. Very streesed I tell him he has to leave now and go right away.
Eight years ago my husband was layed off along with 2/3 of the .com company, and all of that stress and worry came rushing back to me. Later I let the answering machine get the phone and it is my husband telling me urgently to pick up. With a pit in my stomach I answer the phone and it turns out he was recognized for his excellent work at the meeting, taken out to lunch and was calling me to ask how to spend the $100 he was told to spend at the mall in appreciation of what he's been doing.
The one good thing about worry, is when everything turns out wonderful, you are that much more grateful and feel that much more blessed. Also that day I was able to be given some wonderful training by a State-funded Speech therapist on how to help my baby start to talk, since she is delayed in that one area. Then to top everything off this morning, I weighted myself and I had lost 5 pounds since Monday. Yea!!!
Eight years ago my husband was layed off along with 2/3 of the .com company, and all of that stress and worry came rushing back to me. Later I let the answering machine get the phone and it is my husband telling me urgently to pick up. With a pit in my stomach I answer the phone and it turns out he was recognized for his excellent work at the meeting, taken out to lunch and was calling me to ask how to spend the $100 he was told to spend at the mall in appreciation of what he's been doing.
The one good thing about worry, is when everything turns out wonderful, you are that much more grateful and feel that much more blessed. Also that day I was able to be given some wonderful training by a State-funded Speech therapist on how to help my baby start to talk, since she is delayed in that one area. Then to top everything off this morning, I weighted myself and I had lost 5 pounds since Monday. Yea!!!
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
No go, night out
The last two Tuesdays, I had time to clean the house and prepare to go out. Yesterday my baby wasn't feeling well, I ended up having to hold her and cuddle her all day, I felt like I didn't get anything done. I realized I couldn't find the checkbook in all my piles and I needed to have an emergency organizing, paying bills, catch-up session. That is reality.
I told my husband I still need time away from home, maybe Thursday this week, even just to run errands for an hour or two by myself. I'm still catching up, you know those weeks where you seem to be going in slow-motion everything is taking twice as long to do. It does help if I can listen to my books. My current kitchen book is an Alex Rider book basically about a 14- year old James Bond spy kid (other then a bit cleaner, no James Bond women).
My baby is doing better today, she has a little friend over and they are just wandering through the house together, paraell playing, its pretty cute and it is nice to have someone else with her for attention.
Last week I got all my kids clogs or sandals from Target, it felt so to know this Summer I won't be having frantic sock searches in the morning, I can just say, "put on your sandals." We had a small second winter, but today it looks like the sun is out and Spring decided to come back. I felt a little bad, my daughter had to go in snow to the farm for their Spring field trip.
I told my husband I still need time away from home, maybe Thursday this week, even just to run errands for an hour or two by myself. I'm still catching up, you know those weeks where you seem to be going in slow-motion everything is taking twice as long to do. It does help if I can listen to my books. My current kitchen book is an Alex Rider book basically about a 14- year old James Bond spy kid (other then a bit cleaner, no James Bond women).
My baby is doing better today, she has a little friend over and they are just wandering through the house together, paraell playing, its pretty cute and it is nice to have someone else with her for attention.
Last week I got all my kids clogs or sandals from Target, it felt so to know this Summer I won't be having frantic sock searches in the morning, I can just say, "put on your sandals." We had a small second winter, but today it looks like the sun is out and Spring decided to come back. I felt a little bad, my daughter had to go in snow to the farm for their Spring field trip.
Monday, March 24, 2008
Messes
I curse sugar and candy and the chocolate drool. I gave all the rest of the candy away to a neighbor today and it felt wonderful. My daughter stayed home sick today from school. I can't help but notice a pattern of my kids having sugar and getting sick. My carpet had to be cleaned anyways, but after candy messes and chocolate there is no question.
Teeth have to be brushed three times a day for the whole week and fluoride is a must after just one day of candy. I only got four hours of sleep last night (up with kids, then insomnia) so I tried to sleep a little this morning and woke up to the messes mess everywhere. My baby can't help but find candy when her siblings have it strewn all over and she sucks on it then spits it out drooling all over the place.
There was jam spilled on the counter, the pork and beans from the crock pot to be put into containers and refrigerated. When I went to wash the big pots and pans I found I was out of dish soap. Toys, wrappers, eggs, its so tempting to hide out in my room. I'm teaching the kids to help out, but sometimes it is more work, even though I know it will pay off in the end. I'm definitely looking forward to my night out tomorrow.
Teeth have to be brushed three times a day for the whole week and fluoride is a must after just one day of candy. I only got four hours of sleep last night (up with kids, then insomnia) so I tried to sleep a little this morning and woke up to the messes mess everywhere. My baby can't help but find candy when her siblings have it strewn all over and she sucks on it then spits it out drooling all over the place.
There was jam spilled on the counter, the pork and beans from the crock pot to be put into containers and refrigerated. When I went to wash the big pots and pans I found I was out of dish soap. Toys, wrappers, eggs, its so tempting to hide out in my room. I'm teaching the kids to help out, but sometimes it is more work, even though I know it will pay off in the end. I'm definitely looking forward to my night out tomorrow.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
My family's house
The home I lived in for 10 years and my parents still lived in for another 10 years is for sale. I cried the other day when I passed it. It needs to be a home used and loved and filled with family. Why does it bother me so much I ask myself? Then I realize I have so many, many memories, and it was a home hand built and put together by my parents. I remember while we lived in the rental house for a year the architect coming all the time changing this or that adding a greenhouse, putting the laundry room upstairs, raising the ceilings.
I remember the summer before we moved in going over with my parents and doing our part to help in the building, even if it was sweeping up the sawdust or helping to hammer in a nail. Going over to check on the house every week and seeing the new changes and development and my mom being so concerned because the railing wasn’t up yet in the living room or on the stairs. Of course that is also the time my little sister was running through the open walls and a nail completely cut her knee and she had to have stitches and has a battle scar from the experience.
I remember moving in soon as the upstairs was done, and it did have everything; a family room, living room, laundry three bedrooms, kitchen and two bathrooms. I shared a queen size bed with my three sisters. It was o.k., but it wore on me I went to my parents in tears, I wasn’t sleeping and I hated being kicked during the night and I felt too mature for my silly little sisters. I proposed that I sleep in the basement. Anything had to be better then sharing a bed. There were spiders, open unfinished walls, cement floors and big black windows. My mom helped me put a blanket over the window and I had a twin size bed, a little dresser and put a blanket on the floor and I lived like that for six months.
I would go out in the yard with my dad and take a turn swirling the seeds around for a clover yard, apparently that would help the lawn be thick and prepare the ground for the lawn. I think we had a clover yard for a year or two before he put down grass seed. My dad loved plants and boy did he plant; There was the large tree in the front, the bushes, ground cover, the orchids, the peach tree, walnut trees, the grapevines that completely cover the chain link fence in front, the aspen grove and the pussywillow tree, the rubarb plants, the blackberry and raspberry bushes, the two hills with a variety of plants and flowers. The 150 apple trees behind the house and the vegetable garden he planted on the side of the house and the plants he put between the apple trees when they were still young.
I remember hearing my parents discuss the playset and surprising us with it. A strong sturdy metal set we would play on for hours. We would be pirates avoiding the sharks in the grassy waters, we’d talk, swing, slide. Even as a teenager and coming home for a break from collage I would swing while the sun was setting on one side, the mountains and trees on the other. We would play volleyball with other teenagers as we grew up in the yard in front. In the back there was a little hill and a slight dip that I hated mowing, but was so fun to run down that hill or have a little hill to sled on. When it rained a lot or when the snow melted we’d have almost a little pond to splash or float things on.
My mom put up curtains and blinds, pictures, carpet for each room. We had a large bulletin board and white board where our art work would be displayed, family councils recorded, job assignments put. Then of course there was the deck that was added on to the back and a shed built underneath it. I was paid $50.00 one year for girls camp to stain the whole deck. We had so many Sunday dinners there. I would curl up in my warm flannel blanket and sit on the lawn chair during the thunderstorms, smelling the musk and watching the storm clouds and admire my wonderful mountains.
There was the green house, I remember helping my dad to lay bricks on the earth for flooring, there were hand built shelves for the weird and exotic plants, ferns and flowers my dad had, even a full lemon tree was planted, avacado plants too. There was a fan and it was always warm even in the winter. I often would go mist all the plants as one of my favorite chores. It also shared as a weight room when my brother got into highschool basketball.
Our cherry small grand piano sat in the livingroom next to the bay window that viewed Timpanogas mountain. There I cheated my mom of her kitchen help by luring myself away with songs on the piano, how could my mother deny the music I wished to practice? How many concerts for grandparents and guests did my siblings and I perform there in that room? I helped put up the wall paper for one of my rooms, I’d change from sharing a room to having my own room off and on. There was the large storage room with shelves installed just for food storage.
Of course there was the garage, hardly ever used for a garage no matter how many times our mom had family cleaning there, if it wasn’t crowded with stuff, it was crowded with apples to store, sale, or give away. So many wonderful memories and so many associations. Yet, where my parents are is where their family home is. It was a split level home and a whole flight of stairs to get to the kitchen, even to get to the front door there were several porch steps (that I hated cleaning off in the winter). It got harder and harder on my grandparents and then on my mother to go up those stairs. It made perfect sense when they sold it and moved into my grandmothers house, also a home my mother help build and made with love and purpose. I hope a family will buy it and love and appreciate it enjoying similar memories to mine. I have my memories, and maybe I’ll go by and put a few pictures to go with these words.
I remember the summer before we moved in going over with my parents and doing our part to help in the building, even if it was sweeping up the sawdust or helping to hammer in a nail. Going over to check on the house every week and seeing the new changes and development and my mom being so concerned because the railing wasn’t up yet in the living room or on the stairs. Of course that is also the time my little sister was running through the open walls and a nail completely cut her knee and she had to have stitches and has a battle scar from the experience.
I remember moving in soon as the upstairs was done, and it did have everything; a family room, living room, laundry three bedrooms, kitchen and two bathrooms. I shared a queen size bed with my three sisters. It was o.k., but it wore on me I went to my parents in tears, I wasn’t sleeping and I hated being kicked during the night and I felt too mature for my silly little sisters. I proposed that I sleep in the basement. Anything had to be better then sharing a bed. There were spiders, open unfinished walls, cement floors and big black windows. My mom helped me put a blanket over the window and I had a twin size bed, a little dresser and put a blanket on the floor and I lived like that for six months.
I would go out in the yard with my dad and take a turn swirling the seeds around for a clover yard, apparently that would help the lawn be thick and prepare the ground for the lawn. I think we had a clover yard for a year or two before he put down grass seed. My dad loved plants and boy did he plant; There was the large tree in the front, the bushes, ground cover, the orchids, the peach tree, walnut trees, the grapevines that completely cover the chain link fence in front, the aspen grove and the pussywillow tree, the rubarb plants, the blackberry and raspberry bushes, the two hills with a variety of plants and flowers. The 150 apple trees behind the house and the vegetable garden he planted on the side of the house and the plants he put between the apple trees when they were still young.
I remember hearing my parents discuss the playset and surprising us with it. A strong sturdy metal set we would play on for hours. We would be pirates avoiding the sharks in the grassy waters, we’d talk, swing, slide. Even as a teenager and coming home for a break from collage I would swing while the sun was setting on one side, the mountains and trees on the other. We would play volleyball with other teenagers as we grew up in the yard in front. In the back there was a little hill and a slight dip that I hated mowing, but was so fun to run down that hill or have a little hill to sled on. When it rained a lot or when the snow melted we’d have almost a little pond to splash or float things on.
My mom put up curtains and blinds, pictures, carpet for each room. We had a large bulletin board and white board where our art work would be displayed, family councils recorded, job assignments put. Then of course there was the deck that was added on to the back and a shed built underneath it. I was paid $50.00 one year for girls camp to stain the whole deck. We had so many Sunday dinners there. I would curl up in my warm flannel blanket and sit on the lawn chair during the thunderstorms, smelling the musk and watching the storm clouds and admire my wonderful mountains.
There was the green house, I remember helping my dad to lay bricks on the earth for flooring, there were hand built shelves for the weird and exotic plants, ferns and flowers my dad had, even a full lemon tree was planted, avacado plants too. There was a fan and it was always warm even in the winter. I often would go mist all the plants as one of my favorite chores. It also shared as a weight room when my brother got into highschool basketball.
Our cherry small grand piano sat in the livingroom next to the bay window that viewed Timpanogas mountain. There I cheated my mom of her kitchen help by luring myself away with songs on the piano, how could my mother deny the music I wished to practice? How many concerts for grandparents and guests did my siblings and I perform there in that room? I helped put up the wall paper for one of my rooms, I’d change from sharing a room to having my own room off and on. There was the large storage room with shelves installed just for food storage.
Of course there was the garage, hardly ever used for a garage no matter how many times our mom had family cleaning there, if it wasn’t crowded with stuff, it was crowded with apples to store, sale, or give away. So many wonderful memories and so many associations. Yet, where my parents are is where their family home is. It was a split level home and a whole flight of stairs to get to the kitchen, even to get to the front door there were several porch steps (that I hated cleaning off in the winter). It got harder and harder on my grandparents and then on my mother to go up those stairs. It made perfect sense when they sold it and moved into my grandmothers house, also a home my mother help build and made with love and purpose. I hope a family will buy it and love and appreciate it enjoying similar memories to mine. I have my memories, and maybe I’ll go by and put a few pictures to go with these words.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
My night off
My husband and I decided to try something new, once a week, every Tuesday I will have a night off to do whatever I want. I did it for the first time yesterday and it was so freeing and so wonderful. I almost didn't know what to do with myself. I was so excited and energized about it, I cleaned the whole house even the kid's rooms, laundry, paid bills and made homemade pizza for dinner (even gave myself time to blog).
First, I stopped by a friends and we made arrangements for me to take her to Costco next Tuesday. I went to the library and browsed and actually took the time to research on the computer books of authors I like and I was able to find two more books on tape that I am so excited to listen to. I picked out age appropriate books for the kids (books I would enjoy reading with them too).
It took less time then I thought so I starting driving to ShopKo for some Easter toys for the kids then saw a store I'd never been to, but heard about (Honk's). I stopped inside and got all my shopping done, just wandering through the store, everything was inexpensive so I didn't mind picking up a pair of needed sunglasses for myself or a scented candle, a flashlight whatever I wanted.
I got back to the car and it was still only 8:00, I didn't want to go home before the kids were in bed so I just started driving, thinking of a treat I could get for myself to end the night and saw Jumba Juice. A delicious, guilt-free treat. Wonderful, so I got out of the car, read every item on the menu debated back and forth in my mind for as long as I wanted and decided on a berry delight and an orange,mango,banana juice. I came home, enjoyed half of a Harry Potter movie with my husband then went to bed at a decent hour. What a wonderful thing to have discovered, so wonderful psychologically for me. A perfect evening.
First, I stopped by a friends and we made arrangements for me to take her to Costco next Tuesday. I went to the library and browsed and actually took the time to research on the computer books of authors I like and I was able to find two more books on tape that I am so excited to listen to. I picked out age appropriate books for the kids (books I would enjoy reading with them too).
It took less time then I thought so I starting driving to ShopKo for some Easter toys for the kids then saw a store I'd never been to, but heard about (Honk's). I stopped inside and got all my shopping done, just wandering through the store, everything was inexpensive so I didn't mind picking up a pair of needed sunglasses for myself or a scented candle, a flashlight whatever I wanted.
I got back to the car and it was still only 8:00, I didn't want to go home before the kids were in bed so I just started driving, thinking of a treat I could get for myself to end the night and saw Jumba Juice. A delicious, guilt-free treat. Wonderful, so I got out of the car, read every item on the menu debated back and forth in my mind for as long as I wanted and decided on a berry delight and an orange,mango,banana juice. I came home, enjoyed half of a Harry Potter movie with my husband then went to bed at a decent hour. What a wonderful thing to have discovered, so wonderful psychologically for me. A perfect evening.
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Sidewalk chalk poem
I was outside decorating our drive way with the kids and wrote this:
The blue sky above
swallows the earth
Misty clouds sweep shadows of
lumbering giants on the mountains
Refreshing smells of spring blow
chilly air through my frame
The blue sky above
swallows the earth
Misty clouds sweep shadows of
lumbering giants on the mountains
Refreshing smells of spring blow
chilly air through my frame
Monday, March 17, 2008
New perspective
I'm getting out of my rut, I'm feeling such better, just one of those temporary set backs you experience sometimes. I'm putting some new perspectives in my life, focusing on one thing at a time, sometimes when I look at all the areas in my life I feel like I'm failing, then I get discouraged but if I can focus on just one of those things that I would like to improve and work on that it does help me feel better that I am progressing in that thing and then work on these failings one thing at a time.
I appreciate my Aunt Liz's putting together a biggest loser contest, one of my big goals I need to put in priority now is working on my health, so it would be a good challenge and only help me with positive changes I am already working on, though I don't know about any marathons in my future, I've never been able to run, but I can certainly exercise and eat right.
I also feel really positive as a mother if I am taking the time one on one with my children to let them know how much I love them and teach them about Jesus Christ. One of my writing challenges is to write some prose or a story about the true meaning of Easter and Christmas and submit it somewhere. I like to buy books for my children at holidays and I am saddened by the lack of books about Christ at Christmas time and Easter. Even if they would take a hymn or children's song and put illustrations to it I would buy that book. There is often so much distraction from the true meanings of these holidays I like to, as their parent focus on Jesus Christ.
Thank you for your comments during this rut time, it is nice to feel support and love.
I appreciate my Aunt Liz's putting together a biggest loser contest, one of my big goals I need to put in priority now is working on my health, so it would be a good challenge and only help me with positive changes I am already working on, though I don't know about any marathons in my future, I've never been able to run, but I can certainly exercise and eat right.
I also feel really positive as a mother if I am taking the time one on one with my children to let them know how much I love them and teach them about Jesus Christ. One of my writing challenges is to write some prose or a story about the true meaning of Easter and Christmas and submit it somewhere. I like to buy books for my children at holidays and I am saddened by the lack of books about Christ at Christmas time and Easter. Even if they would take a hymn or children's song and put illustrations to it I would buy that book. There is often so much distraction from the true meanings of these holidays I like to, as their parent focus on Jesus Christ.
Thank you for your comments during this rut time, it is nice to feel support and love.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
One of those ruts
I haven't been writing for a while, been in one of those wonderful depressing ruts where you just sort of live your life from the outside looking in like you aren't the person you see in the mirror or goes about doing all the tasks and routines you do each day. Where motivation, meaning and purpose in life have just taken a vacation and your left floundering drowning in the mess if your disorganization, grumbling unfinished thoughts, feeling like you've blotched every role, responsiblity, opportunity, talent you might have had in life. Your doing your best but you don't know why you try anymore or why you are so busy doing what you do.
I'm learning I need to be more independant emotionally. I so dependant on others: my husband, my writing group, friends to validate, encourage me to help me feel special and I am of worth. So when my husband is working extreem hours, I'm home with sick children and I feel so alone I have to face myself and then I don't know if I am who I want to be and I'm not sure if I know what that is. Its competely confusing to me to try and figure out myself I don't know how anyone could even begin to try and figure out another person.
Of course I don't feel this way all the time, I go through valley's and hills and lately I've been stuck in a rut and realizing I need to somehow get out. Of course because I am home and my world is so limited at times I think I get weird and so when I try to talk to friends or others I talk too much or say odd things and push people away or anyways I just found I need to talk to have some social conversations before I become completely odd and turn into a complete hermit. Its just one of those ruts we all eventually get out of. I already feel better just writing and trying to write out what I have felt at times.
I'm learning I need to be more independant emotionally. I so dependant on others: my husband, my writing group, friends to validate, encourage me to help me feel special and I am of worth. So when my husband is working extreem hours, I'm home with sick children and I feel so alone I have to face myself and then I don't know if I am who I want to be and I'm not sure if I know what that is. Its competely confusing to me to try and figure out myself I don't know how anyone could even begin to try and figure out another person.
Of course I don't feel this way all the time, I go through valley's and hills and lately I've been stuck in a rut and realizing I need to somehow get out. Of course because I am home and my world is so limited at times I think I get weird and so when I try to talk to friends or others I talk too much or say odd things and push people away or anyways I just found I need to talk to have some social conversations before I become completely odd and turn into a complete hermit. Its just one of those ruts we all eventually get out of. I already feel better just writing and trying to write out what I have felt at times.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
The teased
I was a sensitive child, the ideal sport for bullies. I would cry when I was teased, I was emotional, easily affected, and often would throw myself pity parties. My mother told me when boys teased me that they really liked me, of course I repeated this to one of these boys and he held me up against the wall and threatened me if I ever repeated those words. One of the boys that would tease me was one of my friends (at least when no other boys his age were around). I had a hard time understanding that, but eventually we had a talk and I caught on it was an act he had to play. I was told not to react so much and teasing wouldn’t happen as often. It is true, I experimented for a week hiding my affected soul and by the end I was no longer so fun to tease.
I was an oldest child always seeking acceptance and recognition from adults. I was certain no other child had to do all the chores and live up to the expectations that were placed upon me. My father would call me "Poor Cinderella" when I complained and I felt even sorrier for myself, I certainly was Cinderella having to clean up after everyone and do more then any one else. When I would complain of ailments my father would say "you were a nice girl while you lasted" and of course I was the most unloved, ignored little girl who might die and my parents wouldn’t care. It seem even now at times my imagination will make some adventure or sad story out of my life.
Then what do you know, I end up marrying a tease. Not a mean teaser mind you, but a tease all the same. My husband loves to prey on my guilt complex, my naivety, my pity parties and imagination, of course he will smile and let me know he is teasing and gives me a sweet hug. I took about 6 classes in highschool where I was the only girl I’m certain I must have liked the attention and the friendly teasing from those boys. Even some of the mean teases in elementary, some of the meanest boys I knew ended up going on missions, being great missionaries and supposedly great people (to my astonishment).
I was an oldest child always seeking acceptance and recognition from adults. I was certain no other child had to do all the chores and live up to the expectations that were placed upon me. My father would call me "Poor Cinderella" when I complained and I felt even sorrier for myself, I certainly was Cinderella having to clean up after everyone and do more then any one else. When I would complain of ailments my father would say "you were a nice girl while you lasted" and of course I was the most unloved, ignored little girl who might die and my parents wouldn’t care. It seem even now at times my imagination will make some adventure or sad story out of my life.
Then what do you know, I end up marrying a tease. Not a mean teaser mind you, but a tease all the same. My husband loves to prey on my guilt complex, my naivety, my pity parties and imagination, of course he will smile and let me know he is teasing and gives me a sweet hug. I took about 6 classes in highschool where I was the only girl I’m certain I must have liked the attention and the friendly teasing from those boys. Even some of the mean teases in elementary, some of the meanest boys I knew ended up going on missions, being great missionaries and supposedly great people (to my astonishment).
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Never Go
Never go to the dentist with your children, never need to because they have perfectly wonderfully healthy teeth. I just came back from the dentist with my daughter crying the whole way back in the car, it is just not worth it for them to have cavities. It is better to never let them have any sugar and sit on them (if you have to) to have them floss and brush their teeth. What a horrible experience to see my children in pain.
I think of parents who have had to see a lot worse with their kids. As my thoughts are running I think of parents who have had children with cancer, disabilities, illnesses. My husband's mother has lost four children, two soon after birth, one of childhood lukemia, one recently from brain tumors, the pain not only for the children but for the mother, the ones to watch. I think of Mary the mother of Jesus Christ, watching her son be crucified on the cross.
I think of the love we feel for others at this valentines, how I would wish I could express how much I appreciate others. I love my husband so much. Sometimes it seems we draw closer even when things seem stressful. I appreciate my mother watching my younger children while I was at the dentist today, I appreciate my younger sister watching my children so we can go on a date for valentines. I think of wonderful neighbor's and friends, family that we love so much. Happy Valentines and know my heart is with you.
I think of parents who have had to see a lot worse with their kids. As my thoughts are running I think of parents who have had children with cancer, disabilities, illnesses. My husband's mother has lost four children, two soon after birth, one of childhood lukemia, one recently from brain tumors, the pain not only for the children but for the mother, the ones to watch. I think of Mary the mother of Jesus Christ, watching her son be crucified on the cross.
I think of the love we feel for others at this valentines, how I would wish I could express how much I appreciate others. I love my husband so much. Sometimes it seems we draw closer even when things seem stressful. I appreciate my mother watching my younger children while I was at the dentist today, I appreciate my younger sister watching my children so we can go on a date for valentines. I think of wonderful neighbor's and friends, family that we love so much. Happy Valentines and know my heart is with you.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Sadness and Sorrow
I just found out a girl I was friends with has left her husband and children they are suddenly divorced, I had no idea. I feel such sorrow for her, for her husband, for her dear children. When a family unit is hit with such a blow it is worse then a death, I feel more sorrow at this news then at a funeral for a friend. I don't know all the details. I don't know if I want to know, I'm just sad and sorry for all involved. It breaks my heart.
It is hard being married, I don't know how many people would find marriage so appealing if they knew how hard it was, but yet I wouldn't leave it or wish I had never married. Having children is tough, I fasted and prayed yesterday for strength and knowledge how I can best help my children with their challenges and my weaknesses. I wonder if these stresses became too much for my friend, or if she struggled with challenges or temptations I wouldn't understand. There are times when I just want to be done for the day or take a little break from it all for a few days, how much might my friend be experiencing to do what she did.
I just wanted to write somehow express my sorrow, there is no funeral, no final closure for the passing of once happy and whole family unit. I can hope that my friends husband and her children will find wholeness as they are and let friends, neighbors and family help them find wholeness in the new definition of their family unit. I hope I can help, her baby is close to my baby's age.
It is hard being married, I don't know how many people would find marriage so appealing if they knew how hard it was, but yet I wouldn't leave it or wish I had never married. Having children is tough, I fasted and prayed yesterday for strength and knowledge how I can best help my children with their challenges and my weaknesses. I wonder if these stresses became too much for my friend, or if she struggled with challenges or temptations I wouldn't understand. There are times when I just want to be done for the day or take a little break from it all for a few days, how much might my friend be experiencing to do what she did.
I just wanted to write somehow express my sorrow, there is no funeral, no final closure for the passing of once happy and whole family unit. I can hope that my friends husband and her children will find wholeness as they are and let friends, neighbors and family help them find wholeness in the new definition of their family unit. I hope I can help, her baby is close to my baby's age.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Lost in my own little world
Lost in my own little world As the snow piles and piles and my life is so crazy and busy with my children, it is easy to isolate myself. To get lost at home and cut off contact with everyone else without meaning to. I've been to the dentist three times this week with appointments and dental work for my kids, my life is consumed with my family and basic maintenince of my home it seems. Little baby Em is sick with a cold right now and it is so fridgid outside it is perfered to do as much indoors as possible.
I have found the key to housework for me is to combine it with one of my favorite passions, reading, by listening to books on tape or CD. Which, might in someways keep me more isolated because I get myself lost in the books, but at least my time is being used better. Sometimes I keep different books on different floors. Right now I have Harry Potter The Half-blood Prince on upstairs while I fold laundry and organize my room. I have Roll of Thunder Hear my Cry on in the kitchen and I'm planning on listening to Artimus Fowl downstairs while I exercise and clean the family room. It is amazing how much I look forward to cleaning and cooking in the kitchen or organizing my room how it comes automatically while I'm engrossed in some adventure.
I've negelcted this blog, emailing and calling family and friends and I've turned into a little home-body. I find I go through solitary stages like this and then I feel guilty about not keeping in contact and I'm desparate for friends and society, swinging on a pendulum of sorts. My husband's been working late a lot and getting ready for a new job change, times like this I get even more attached to my home and children. I have enjoyed teaching my son how to write his name, playing legos with him, cuddling and reading books, and enjoying the sweet pictures he draws for me as gifts. Even my school daughter I have come right home so I can feel like I had my time with her and I enjoy rocking and playing with my baby girl. Maybe, I won't feel guilty about this time where I just need to focus at home, that is what winter days are for anyways.
I have found the key to housework for me is to combine it with one of my favorite passions, reading, by listening to books on tape or CD. Which, might in someways keep me more isolated because I get myself lost in the books, but at least my time is being used better. Sometimes I keep different books on different floors. Right now I have Harry Potter The Half-blood Prince on upstairs while I fold laundry and organize my room. I have Roll of Thunder Hear my Cry on in the kitchen and I'm planning on listening to Artimus Fowl downstairs while I exercise and clean the family room. It is amazing how much I look forward to cleaning and cooking in the kitchen or organizing my room how it comes automatically while I'm engrossed in some adventure.
I've negelcted this blog, emailing and calling family and friends and I've turned into a little home-body. I find I go through solitary stages like this and then I feel guilty about not keeping in contact and I'm desparate for friends and society, swinging on a pendulum of sorts. My husband's been working late a lot and getting ready for a new job change, times like this I get even more attached to my home and children. I have enjoyed teaching my son how to write his name, playing legos with him, cuddling and reading books, and enjoying the sweet pictures he draws for me as gifts. Even my school daughter I have come right home so I can feel like I had my time with her and I enjoy rocking and playing with my baby girl. Maybe, I won't feel guilty about this time where I just need to focus at home, that is what winter days are for anyways.
Monday, January 21, 2008
The Courtship
Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the courtship of your mother dear
She went to school at BYU
Where she learned, played did schoolwork too
Her cousin Sam was at Kimball Hall
Gordon, his roommate was your dad
He really wasn’t all so bad
How was she to know she was going to love fall
Tall, skinny, a big old tease
She gave him rides to grocery stores
Marriott Center tunnel singing
Sledding, movies, swing dancing always
Giving her piggy-back rides, kisses too
Holding hands, eating together,
Sharing themselves, talking of children
Talking of love, caring, working
Charming her with his words and songs
Impressing her with his art and talents
Sharing same goals, same love of God
So different, yet connected all the same
She met his parents, he met hers
To the SLC temple she would go
Ordinances towards salvation
Endowments from on High
Stress of school, preparations, so much rush
California after finals, a licence to obtain
Meeting down in San Diego, a beautiful Temple
No sleep too excited then anxiousness
The licence left back at Gordon’s home
Aquarium, Teawana, shopping while we wait
Luncheon first, still so much stress
Prayer, then peace, we are all there
The temple so beautiful so special
Surrounded by family, pictures and fun
Holding hands, no stress, no tension just peace
LaJolla for our honeymoon at Uncle Joe’s Condo
Their courtship continuing, their love growing
Their family growing, changing too
Forever in the eternities they’ll go forward
Towards God, each other and family
Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the courtship of your mother dear
She went to school at BYU
Where she learned, played did schoolwork too
Her cousin Sam was at Kimball Hall
Gordon, his roommate was your dad
He really wasn’t all so bad
How was she to know she was going to love fall
Tall, skinny, a big old tease
She gave him rides to grocery stores
Marriott Center tunnel singing
Sledding, movies, swing dancing always
Giving her piggy-back rides, kisses too
Holding hands, eating together,
Sharing themselves, talking of children
Talking of love, caring, working
Charming her with his words and songs
Impressing her with his art and talents
Sharing same goals, same love of God
So different, yet connected all the same
She met his parents, he met hers
To the SLC temple she would go
Ordinances towards salvation
Endowments from on High
Stress of school, preparations, so much rush
California after finals, a licence to obtain
Meeting down in San Diego, a beautiful Temple
No sleep too excited then anxiousness
The licence left back at Gordon’s home
Aquarium, Teawana, shopping while we wait
Luncheon first, still so much stress
Prayer, then peace, we are all there
The temple so beautiful so special
Surrounded by family, pictures and fun
Holding hands, no stress, no tension just peace
LaJolla for our honeymoon at Uncle Joe’s Condo
Their courtship continuing, their love growing
Their family growing, changing too
Forever in the eternities they’ll go forward
Towards God, each other and family
Saturday, January 19, 2008
New year goals
Well, I have several New Years resolutions:
-I will exercise at least 4 times a week, eat lower calories and no cholesterol, feel healthy
(hopefully it won't take all year for the mirror to show the change as well)
-I will be prepared for Christmas this year, have a budget, cards done by Thanksgiving, presents made or bought before December, have a prepared, planned, peaceful holiday for once
(If this happens this will be miraculous, but maybe if I start now it will happen)
- I will write a short story, poem once a week
(It helps to have a writing group I meet with once a week)
- I will write a short novel, a children's book this year
(If I can get past my first block I experience after I always start this might happen)
- I will help my children to feel successful, happy and secure
(This might be the hardest one yet, a lot of help with homework, practice, consistency etc.)
- I will support my husband in his work and talents
(I gave him guitar lessons for Christmas so it is a start, he is so talented in many ways)
- I will read (or listen to) at least 2 books a month
(This is my luxury goal, for my own enjoyment I love to read)
- I will be a better friend, a better listener, a person who truly hears and sees
(To have friends you must be a friend, when I am more this way the happier I am and closer I feel to others)
- I will enjoy the beauties all around me
(I live so close to my beautiful mountains and there is so much beauty all around me I need to take more advantage of it and share this beauty with my family)
- I will enjoy my work and my life, I will put my priorities in my time and focus
(Isn't better time management what helps us feel happy and successful)
-I will get twice as organized this year
(each year out of necessity I become a more organized person, it is just more needed as our family grows and homework and a home)
I'd love to hear what some of your new years resolutions are
-I will exercise at least 4 times a week, eat lower calories and no cholesterol, feel healthy
(hopefully it won't take all year for the mirror to show the change as well)
-I will be prepared for Christmas this year, have a budget, cards done by Thanksgiving, presents made or bought before December, have a prepared, planned, peaceful holiday for once
(If this happens this will be miraculous, but maybe if I start now it will happen)
- I will write a short story, poem once a week
(It helps to have a writing group I meet with once a week)
- I will write a short novel, a children's book this year
(If I can get past my first block I experience after I always start this might happen)
- I will help my children to feel successful, happy and secure
(This might be the hardest one yet, a lot of help with homework, practice, consistency etc.)
- I will support my husband in his work and talents
(I gave him guitar lessons for Christmas so it is a start, he is so talented in many ways)
- I will read (or listen to) at least 2 books a month
(This is my luxury goal, for my own enjoyment I love to read)
- I will be a better friend, a better listener, a person who truly hears and sees
(To have friends you must be a friend, when I am more this way the happier I am and closer I feel to others)
- I will enjoy the beauties all around me
(I live so close to my beautiful mountains and there is so much beauty all around me I need to take more advantage of it and share this beauty with my family)
- I will enjoy my work and my life, I will put my priorities in my time and focus
(Isn't better time management what helps us feel happy and successful)
-I will get twice as organized this year
(each year out of necessity I become a more organized person, it is just more needed as our family grows and homework and a home)
I'd love to hear what some of your new years resolutions are
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Wonderful things in my life
I've been in such a good mood lately and feeling productive and good about things lately and I was trying to think about what's been different this last week. One thing, I've been trying to read in the morning my scriptures or teachings of Joseph Smith and that has really help put my day in perspective and I find myself using my time better. I've also been listening to a book on tape while every time I am in the kitchen and I look forward to cleaning and cooking and doing stuff around the kitchen, I even deep cleaned my stove top just listening to the book.
Spending more quality time and focus on my children individually has helped me appreciate and feel closer to my children and I know in my heart I'm a good mom when I am taking that time with them. Also, after the holidays and illness it has been nice to start being more social and connecting with people again. Also we've found some more speech help for my son where we go together and sing songs and learn fun ways of working on his articulation.
I'm being more relaxed about some things in my parenting and more consistent with things that will matter in the long run. I'm trying to write more and let go of things in my life that don't build me up or help me feel positive and happy. Anyways, maybe some of these ideas will help you when the winter weather is upon us to help you feel positive too.
Spending more quality time and focus on my children individually has helped me appreciate and feel closer to my children and I know in my heart I'm a good mom when I am taking that time with them. Also, after the holidays and illness it has been nice to start being more social and connecting with people again. Also we've found some more speech help for my son where we go together and sing songs and learn fun ways of working on his articulation.
I'm being more relaxed about some things in my parenting and more consistent with things that will matter in the long run. I'm trying to write more and let go of things in my life that don't build me up or help me feel positive and happy. Anyways, maybe some of these ideas will help you when the winter weather is upon us to help you feel positive too.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Putting back the sunshine
The sun shone yesterday, it seems when the sun shines it goes right into my heart and I have to have a happy day. I heard an amazing talk yesterday that really touched me. How our hearts can be mirrors where we are focusing on ourselves, our agendas, our problems, what we want. Yet, our hearts can be windows looking out truly seeing others and ourselves people of worth, but also allowing the sunshine of our Lord’s love to come into our hearts. I thought this was a wonderful way to think about things, to see others and to see ourselves.
If you ask my children: Are you beautiful? Are you smart? Are you special? Do I love you? Their response will be "yes", just plain "yes I am" they allow themselves to know they are of worth and they don’t question those wonderful things you tell them about themselves. How wonderful is that, why is it as adults we don’t allow ourselves to think well of ourselves. I’m not talking about conceit or pride or arrogance. Maybe we are afraid of becoming those things or being perceived that way, or maybe we have allow the negative to affect us, maybe we just can’t accept that we are of worth and we are special.
I have been focusing on giving each of my children significant one-on-one positive time, extra positive words, yet being consistent. It is amazing how this extreme praise and quality have helped my relationship with my son, by the end of this week he has already become so much less defiant and more willing to listen. I’ve always tried to give them positive and time, but I’m realizing at times in their life we they seem to be negative that is when I need to as a parent really lay on the positive and give them extra attention, and it is working. (Of course we will see how church goes today, but I am hopeful and it doesn’t matter, he is a wonderful child I feel more positive with myself when I am positive with others.)
If you ask my children: Are you beautiful? Are you smart? Are you special? Do I love you? Their response will be "yes", just plain "yes I am" they allow themselves to know they are of worth and they don’t question those wonderful things you tell them about themselves. How wonderful is that, why is it as adults we don’t allow ourselves to think well of ourselves. I’m not talking about conceit or pride or arrogance. Maybe we are afraid of becoming those things or being perceived that way, or maybe we have allow the negative to affect us, maybe we just can’t accept that we are of worth and we are special.
I have been focusing on giving each of my children significant one-on-one positive time, extra positive words, yet being consistent. It is amazing how this extreme praise and quality have helped my relationship with my son, by the end of this week he has already become so much less defiant and more willing to listen. I’ve always tried to give them positive and time, but I’m realizing at times in their life we they seem to be negative that is when I need to as a parent really lay on the positive and give them extra attention, and it is working. (Of course we will see how church goes today, but I am hopeful and it doesn’t matter, he is a wonderful child I feel more positive with myself when I am positive with others.)
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Understanding in disguise
Lately my son has been having a hard time. He’s been more defiant, ignoring us, hurting his sisters, yelling, refusing to sit or be quiet in situations where it is needed. He does seem to do much better if we completely smother him with praise for anything he does do to be helpful or kind, if we give him a lot of one on one and lots of active attention. It is hard when he seems to do much better with his preschool teacher or others then he does with us, his parents.
Last night though, I realized something wonderful and special. I love him just as much when he is giving us a hard time as when he is cuddling and sweet and obedient. It is a nicer time with him, but I love him just as much either way. Parenting opened my eyes to how much more and even more perfect my Heavenly Father’s love is for me even when I’m hard to be with and being difficult. It gives me courage to continue to work with him, to have patience and try many ideas that I and others have thought of that might help.
I do think the extra praise and attention will be a key factor, along with the being consistent and following through. Right now he is playing at being a little doggie with his sisters and being so sweet, it is always easier at home, where I can control the environment more. It’s harder when you are at Church, a friends, or at a store and my husband and I will just have to work together to help him know how to be polite, appropriate and be the little boy I know his is and can be.
Last night though, I realized something wonderful and special. I love him just as much when he is giving us a hard time as when he is cuddling and sweet and obedient. It is a nicer time with him, but I love him just as much either way. Parenting opened my eyes to how much more and even more perfect my Heavenly Father’s love is for me even when I’m hard to be with and being difficult. It gives me courage to continue to work with him, to have patience and try many ideas that I and others have thought of that might help.
I do think the extra praise and attention will be a key factor, along with the being consistent and following through. Right now he is playing at being a little doggie with his sisters and being so sweet, it is always easier at home, where I can control the environment more. It’s harder when you are at Church, a friends, or at a store and my husband and I will just have to work together to help him know how to be polite, appropriate and be the little boy I know his is and can be.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Sometimes its the storm before the calm
I completely was unaware that school started today. My neighbor came over and knocked hard on the door and let me know my phones weren't working (the children had taken the phone off the hook) and my husband wanted to let me know school had started (now why didn't he turn the car around and told me?). I felt so embarrassed, school had already been in session for a half-hour and my daughter was dressed in a strange combination of skirts and shorts, black rock boots and a dirty shirt.
Quickly this slow morning turned into frantic chaos: changing clothes, combing hair, thinking if she had enough lunch money left, adding up reading minutes, finding a coat and backpack, then running with her out the door so I could make sure she crossed the street safely. I sighed with relief when I walked back in the door, I called my mom to tell her of the adventure and she asked if my son had school today too (luckily it's afternoon preschool), and yes he did too though not quite so frantic.
It was quieter even to have only two children home, I had my brother and his little girl over to make a gingerbread house while my baby took a nap. I'm realizing I have to get to know him again, he is actually an adult not my little brother anymore and finishing up the first four years of med school. It is interesting sometimes it takes a little time to reconnect with family when you have been living away from each other and when you feel more connected then it seems like they have to go home.
My son got off on the bus by 12:35 and I had almost three hours with just the baby. I was able to run errands to Costco, pharmacy and the library including taking the time to select carefully books, computer games and videos that were just right for the kids instead of just putting in the basket everything they wanted and finding half of the materials were too advanced for the children, it was so wonderful and my baby loves the time driving about, getting in and out, and seeing new things when she is with me.
When I got home I had at least a half hour before the rush of the coming home and I knew I had so many phone calls to make lists to do and a house to clean, but for a moment I was just stunned, not knowing where to begin when I actually had some time on my hands, even the baby was asleep, it was such a peaceful calm. The calm after the storm.
Quickly this slow morning turned into frantic chaos: changing clothes, combing hair, thinking if she had enough lunch money left, adding up reading minutes, finding a coat and backpack, then running with her out the door so I could make sure she crossed the street safely. I sighed with relief when I walked back in the door, I called my mom to tell her of the adventure and she asked if my son had school today too (luckily it's afternoon preschool), and yes he did too though not quite so frantic.
It was quieter even to have only two children home, I had my brother and his little girl over to make a gingerbread house while my baby took a nap. I'm realizing I have to get to know him again, he is actually an adult not my little brother anymore and finishing up the first four years of med school. It is interesting sometimes it takes a little time to reconnect with family when you have been living away from each other and when you feel more connected then it seems like they have to go home.
My son got off on the bus by 12:35 and I had almost three hours with just the baby. I was able to run errands to Costco, pharmacy and the library including taking the time to select carefully books, computer games and videos that were just right for the kids instead of just putting in the basket everything they wanted and finding half of the materials were too advanced for the children, it was so wonderful and my baby loves the time driving about, getting in and out, and seeing new things when she is with me.
When I got home I had at least a half hour before the rush of the coming home and I knew I had so many phone calls to make lists to do and a house to clean, but for a moment I was just stunned, not knowing where to begin when I actually had some time on my hands, even the baby was asleep, it was such a peaceful calm. The calm after the storm.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)