Friday, November 30, 2007

Mother's night out

What a wonderful evening. I had a great time with several friends that came over for a mother's night out. We talked about being mothers and how we made the choice to be mothers and what a wonderful thing it is and how appreciative we are for that choice. Sometimes it is nice to get together with other moms, I told my husband this was my work party. We visited, had dinner, cookies for almost three hours. My husband was really good about taking all the kids to the basement and to bed, there were a few interuptions but was nice to have some girl time, it makes me smile and I want to come back to my family afterwards.

Girls need other girls I think. One of the woman made a interesting comment. What we often need as women is a wife. Yes, that sounds weird but what was meant is that sometimes we need to have someone to support us, help us out around the house and with the children and notice what we do and give us appreciation. Our husbands are wonderful but sometimes they can't fully understand what we need, that is why it is nice to get together with other women and have these conversations and appreciate one another.

We also talked about what I call our "psycho moments" those moments where we have emotional breakdowns and are not always rational or thinking straight but what we need most of all is a comforting arm around us, unconditional love, told how much we are appreciated, and feel supported.

We are financially tight right now, just trying to get on top of things, yet at this point in our lives we feel like it is the right thing for me to be home with our children. It is a choice I have made and I have the complete support of my husband. I hope one day my children will appreciate that choice and they are learning from my time spent with them. I am so grateful for my husband, my children, my friends, for being a homemaker and having that choice avalible to me.

It has helped me a lot to know God's will for me, and to have my baby turn a year old. It is amazing how much that helps, to start to feel reconnected again with others. To get involved again, still limited because my family comes first, but I'm writing again, I started this blog, I go to a writer's group, I am involved at church and occasionally helping others besides my own family and it is a good feeling.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Baby's self-destructive day

Oh, poor baby, I'm going to have to watch you so close
You just can't leave the glass alone when you break your sister's jar, a bandaid for you
You just grab so fast the just opened can and cut your thumb, another bandaid for you
We have enchiladas, fruit, and spinach for dinner, you get hives

Your teeth are coming and you are moaning all day
You are just starting to walk and you keep tipping over and hitting your head
Your so tired and crash into everything
Yet you don't even cry loud, just little moans, the loud crys for bedtime

What a sad, sad day yet here at the end of it your smiling
You cuddle and play with your siblings
You are facinated with everything and everyone
You just stared at storytime at the libary so much excitement

Monday, November 26, 2007

Tornado day

Buzz through the house swiping up, picking up
Make some calls, dress myself and the children
Feed the calling hungry birds, sending the oldest to school

Rush jobs here and there
Hurry in the car, oh yea, dance class
Opps, the car pool doesn't work out

Fit in grocery shopping and library during dance
Pick up, off to preschool, rush back just in time
Writing group at my house, what have I written to share?

Oh, no, the jam jar fell, smashed all over the driveway!
Friends already here, quick, put the refrigorated stuff away
Smile calmly, greet my friends

How peaceful the baby sleeps, while we visited
Now to the computer, then look out for the bus,
Type up invitations for a mother's night out

Help with piano, help with homework, help get snacks
Drive around to deliver invitations with the kids
Home to make the dough for pizza

Husband home, hurray, hurray!!
We all cook, set the table, and eat together
I forgot the get-together at Grandpa's?

Finish Home evening, jump in the car in time to say "hi"
Grandparents, extended family, let them see the baby walk
Home for baths, books and bed

All in a tornado day

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Sundays

It was a little sad to see our company leave today, but nice to have a quiet Sunday afternoon, just slow and time to write. I think I am going to write a letter today, being inspired by Lynne. I came home from church to my sweet husband asleep with our sick baby curled up asleep in his arms, I had to take a picture, it was the cutest thing. I may be funny but I find my husband so attractive when he is helping with the kids and so sweet with them, when he is making breakfast, the more he is around, it has been a wonderful holiday I am already regretting tomorrow and how life goes on but I will treasure all these memories, frozen moments of time where we just enjoy being together.
Sundays are often crazy, rushed filled mornings getting myself and the family dressed, fed and supplies put together for church. It seems like I wrestle with children all through church my children and my primary class. Yet, I think I am perfectly suited for wild, distracted children, I really understand them, I get restless and want to move just as much as they do, I love their creativity and desires for attention and they are so sweet and I always hope they get twice as much as they seem to get out of the meetings, they have wonderful spirits and it is so nice to see how attached they are to their families and how much they learn of love at home. Today the music leader had all the children sit on the floor and talked in a soft voice to them and gave chances for all the children to participate. It was amazing how my own children responded, they were quiet, they sat, they raised their hands it was so refreshing and I thought, Oh, there is hope. As a mom you want other adults to know what sweet children you have even if they don't always allow teacher to see it, and it is nice when your children let that part of themselves be seen.

Friday, November 23, 2007

Thanksgiving

A day of pie, and family. Homemade pizza pie instead of turkey, my husband did most of the work, a small family dinner just four adults and three children, how nice and quiet, games, building, reading, watching stories being built. Of course pumpkin pie, pecan pie, and apple pie, you always need to have those. We've been watching The Storyteller a Jim Henerson DVD all sorts of folk stories we really enjoyed from the Library. One of my favorite lines "...whispers turned into a kisses" referring to a love story. How I love having my children home, my husband home, family and neighbors around us. We haven't had the money to travel or go do all the things I would like to do with the kids, but we can sit under the stars, play baseball in the back yard, go to the local museum, play games of legos and crystal climbers and appreciate all the beauties of nature around us.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Thanksgiving on its way

I take my son to storytime at the library, then feeling up to it I invite our neighbor girl at the last moment. My wild son becomes calm and even stands in line holding her hand, sits still all through storytime I am amazed it is wonderous what a calming friend can do for my son. Once my son is on the bus, I finish his leftover lunch and fell light as a feather, shopping doesn't have to be a big long ordeal, I go while the older two are at school, my one year old is so good and loves this quiet time with mommy. It is amazing only a half hour at Costco and a half hour at Target for shopping, who ever heard of such a thing, and I even stayed in budget, no little bribing toys or snacks I wasn't planning on it was so great. My baby even fell asleep on the way home, what an adventure. Our plans for Thanksgiving have changed three or four times, but one thing is staying the same this year, a quiet small Thanksgiving. To be completely honest Thanksgiving isThanksgiving because it is time with our family. I love seeing extended family, but esspecially now with three children just if it was us with no one else I would be so happy just to play games, watch a movie, eat good food and be together, that is all I want.
Happy Thanksgiving

Monday, November 19, 2007

As I pick my son up from the bus, a crowd of kids gather round like seeing a rock star step out of his tour bus. Not many of the kids around here get a bus from school and it is an adventure to have this preschooler having the coveted ride. As I set the sleepy boy down on the ground to go play with his sister I get a head butt (unintentional) to the nose. I look up to see the moon in the clear blue sky calling me. Then I'm brought down to earth with afterschool snacks and to be an audience for the recital the children want to play for me. The moon can wait another day, but I think for my artist date this week maybe I'll just sit outside and gaze at the moon, and stars in the volumist space above.

When I was 7 8 and 9

Years Seven and Eight and Nine
Miss. Nielson, later Mrs. Varterless engaged to be married a little distracted
A new and young teacher, questioning things after teaching us
First and only time I ever cheated, feeling so bad
New school, Edgemont, new friends to make, feeling shy
Living in a rental house for two years right next to Grandparents D
Every Saturday the cleanup monster coming to our playroom
Building forts and castles in our large basement getaway, imagining
Picking cherries in the back yard and climbing the tree
My dad going every Friday to Price to be their one Dermatologist there
Our family vacation going on a train to Price, staying in a hotel, meeting Dad
Coming home late, working so hard but still helping with homework and bedtime stories
Dad involved in young men’s, taking me to the Spanish lessons for their Mexico trip
First time coming home to a empty house, worried, praying so hard
Learning my brother J was in a horrible bike accident, chased by a dog
His tongue hanging by it’s skin, my dad having to get another doctor to sew it
Afterwards milkshakes, yogurt and lots of attention for him
Starting piano lessons, my mom working so hard with me
Helping to set the table, learning to wipe off counters and tables
Enjoying family time cleaning up and helping mom with laundry
Helping my dad at his office off of Canyon Road, getting paid
Learning of my parents anniversary and what it was
Waking up at 4:00 in the morning to cut up carrots and do laundry
I put the carrots in the oven (sprinkled with brown sugar) to look like a 10
My siblings woke up too and helped, my parent’s smiles will always be remembered
Third grade teacher, Mrs. Fisher, being so nervous
Having an imaginary giraffe pet friend
Making good friends, P and K and Z
Wearing Princess Lea and Laura Engels hair styles
Being baptized, feeling so happy and pure
At first sad I wasn’t baptized on my birthday, parent’s gone
Special baptism dress, getting mad at brother at the breakfast after
Feeling so bad, but learning about repentance and feeling clean again
Getting my glasses and seeing things so clear, so amazed
Lots of nightmares of monsters, fires separating me from my family
Liking to sleep on the floor, sharing a room with my sister’s M and R
Feeling most comfortable with my family happy to play with just my siblings
My baby sister
Now on a mission, speaking Portugese
Loving the people, the sweet children
Eating new foods, cutting her hair
I remember her as a baby, patting my back
Her second mother, people would call me
I’d play with her in her crib, making her laugh
Wearing the hippo bathing suit as a toddler
Strutting, the queen of the family, the owner of us all
Falling off the banister, scaring our hearts
Always creative, curious, an artist
In every piece of writing, every drawing, every conversation
A uniqueness all her own, her style found
So passionate, a lioness for the underdog
So animated, so full of life and righteous indignation
So much heart, so much humility even in her passion
Too hard on herself, guilt ridden, afraid of her own mind
A blind miracle worker, doing more good then she can see
A memorable person, touching people’s minds in a special way
Honest, choosing the right, an example for us all
Righteousness is her strength
Tall, beautiful, elegant and graceful in her own way
Always so interesting, always informing herself
A good friend to so many, a good friend type
So loved, so special, my sister

The amazing adventures of Astromom

Astromom
As I pick up the clothes off the floor and heave another heavy load of laundry down the stairs. I start feeling sorry for myself. All I am is the housekeeper, the cook, mainly everyone’s servant. Jacob comes over to me with his cute kissable cheeks, I can’t help but give them a peck and decipher his words as he tells me how he wants to help put the soap in the washer machine, he is fascinated by anything mechanical and likes anything to do with Mommy. He ends his explanation by telling me how he likes my hair and gives me his adoring smile.
No, I am a mom and a homemaker and I wouldn’t want to leave any of it for the most career successful job in the world, even to be an astronaut (one of my favorite dreams). Of course, if the opportunity happen to show itself, we would be the first family to live on the moon, I already warned my husband of this. I have a whole space station planned out with plenty for a family to do, functioning as a unit, working together to live in space.
As I cuddle and rock little Emily while she has a bottle and starts to close her eyes, I think more on this idea. Yes, my space station would have to have plants, lots of plants so it would have a self-sustaining oxygen supply. Gordon would do the math and spelling, grammar with the kids, I’d do the reading, science and exploring with the kids. We would work as a family preparing space meals, adding a few fresh ingredients from the plants. We would have to exercise and be extra healthy since white blood cells seem to go away when you are in space so it’s like having AIDS for a time period. No, we wouldn’t want to live up there too long, it just wouldn’t be safe or the best idea, but sure would make a great long vacation and bring our family even closer. O.k. let’s do it. Wait... I don’t think that is an option yet. Maybe it will be when the kids are teenagers.
I finally get Emily to sleep and carefully, so carefully lay her in her crib and tip-toe out of the room. I quickly warn Jacob not to go upstairs and encourage him to be quiet as he can. Of course, Mary coming home yells, bangs the door and runs about the house waking Emily up and brings her to me saying "I found her awake when I looked in her room."
"That is o.k.". I tell Mary, "but because you brought her down, you know you need to watch her for a while. " Mary then starts to play so sweet with her sister and makes her brother laugh, I go to the kitchen and contentedly listen to the noise. This is heaven, my children happy, our family being together. Gordon surprises us by coming home early at 4:00 I guess he had Young Men’s at 4:30 today to rake leaves, but he has just enough time to give me a kiss and push the kids on the tire swing, where they scream and laugh and have so much fun. We make arrangements for dinner in just over an hour and I look for what I need for the Target brand hamburger helper (my families favorite meal).
My life isn’t so bad, I am so happy. I have a husband who loves me who loves our children, our children love
one another, I am able to stay home and do my own schedule, I love my family. Yes, we have struggles and challenges, yes we are continually learning, often through our mistakes. Yes, I have the most wild children ever, but who have so much energy life and are so sweet. The moon can wait, heaven is right here.