I just found out a girl I was friends with has left her husband and children they are suddenly divorced, I had no idea. I feel such sorrow for her, for her husband, for her dear children. When a family unit is hit with such a blow it is worse then a death, I feel more sorrow at this news then at a funeral for a friend. I don't know all the details. I don't know if I want to know, I'm just sad and sorry for all involved. It breaks my heart.
It is hard being married, I don't know how many people would find marriage so appealing if they knew how hard it was, but yet I wouldn't leave it or wish I had never married. Having children is tough, I fasted and prayed yesterday for strength and knowledge how I can best help my children with their challenges and my weaknesses. I wonder if these stresses became too much for my friend, or if she struggled with challenges or temptations I wouldn't understand. There are times when I just want to be done for the day or take a little break from it all for a few days, how much might my friend be experiencing to do what she did.
I just wanted to write somehow express my sorrow, there is no funeral, no final closure for the passing of once happy and whole family unit. I can hope that my friends husband and her children will find wholeness as they are and let friends, neighbors and family help them find wholeness in the new definition of their family unit. I hope I can help, her baby is close to my baby's age.
2 comments:
I get angry when I hear about divorce, I hate hearing about every divorce.
I recognize I should be supportive, kind, and caring, but for me I feel anger, and frustration. Maybe it's because of the failure of something I want to believe in, maybe I feel it is an attack on my own marriage, like all the failures in the world, all the people who couldn't make it work out, affect my ability to make it work out, or maybe it's one less person to support me in my desire to have a better marriage. As for me it makes me angry, I want to beleive that this world can be a better place than it is now, however, when so many are giving up on life so soon, it's a wonder that we could possibly hold on to any values at all, I see that all we do affects the world, we all pull on each other, when we are buoyed up we buoy up others, when we are weighed down, we are weigh down others.
This is beyond a sadness and sorrow, this is a death of something beautiful (or something that could have been beautiful). These actions ring out, sadness, misery, selfishness, it pulls on the family, be aware of what you do in marriage, what you can handle in marrigae, at worst an example, a tolerance for sin, giving up, letting go, letting it all slip away, this is a suicide, an escape from pain, this is giving up on life.
I expect people to be stronger, I expect more from people, I expect and believe that a family needs to stay together. I am dissapointed, frustrated, and angry, and yet In my anger, frustration, and dissapointment, I am reminded to be caring, kind, and supportive.
Marriage is hard. Marriage is worth it. When children are involved it becomes a very different sort of a contract. A we'll-not-break-this-contract type of contract. My heart is broken over the ending of this marriage.
Phil said a funny, yet profound thing once: If you survive marriage you deserve the Celestial Kingdom. He was joking of course--kind of-- but it shows that no matter how much in love the marriage starts out there will be trying times. You just stick it out and things will get better. I realize that there are instances that qualify a marriage for ending--abuse, etc. But for the normal marriage that runs up against hard times it takes work, love, patience and expecting that things will be all right.
Of course I should not, and will not judge but I am also saddned, Sarah. Broken hearted, even as I know you are.
God bless you for your tender heart. And God bless you for your marriage, which I know you both work at. You will be blessed beyond your ability to conprehend.
I adore you and know you chose wisely and will choose wisely every day in how you live your life.
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