I think of the Savior, His love, His life.
Mary, cuddling this sweet baby
looking into His clear eyes
Wondering what His life would hold,
Knowing even then that expectations
Seemingly impossible would be placed on Him
What sacred protectiveness she felt
Feeling the Holy Ghost strengthening her
With God, nothing is impossible
I don’t feel inadequate when
I’m allowing the Spirit to touch us
We feel Holy power and strength beyond our own
Jesus choose to come to this earth
He loves us, I am important to Him
He wants me to choose right so I can be with Him
When I allow His love I don’t want wrong
May I allow His love in my heart
His will is my will, because He is the right
He knows what I need what is best
In Him I can trust
Written December 9, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Family in Town
I have gained so much admiration on top of what I already felt for my sister-in-law. We've had my husbands brother's family here with nine of their ten kids, their oldest is on a mission and their youngest is not yet three. So we have six growing big boys and 2 young girls along with my three growing kids that went through 3 bags of cereal in one morning. Every meal, every outing, every day is an adventure, fun and exciting though too. It has been a fun challenge planning meals and putting them together and working out the legistics of space and all. Yet, somehow we've been fine and things have worked out, I have not yet lost my mind and I'm learning skills and tricks to feeding large groups several times a day. I've watched my K & M hand out chores to their kids and how they communicate and work with all these children. How M gets the kids to do things without even raising her voice. It seems like a big key is consistency and commitment, and lots of love.
When we were walking around the local campus as a big group, I thought it was really neat for these kids, they will always know they belong with their family and they have a group that they will always belong to. One brother had cruches and couldn't make the long walk, his older brother stayed and sat with him and later even gave him a piggy-back ride to meet up with the big 15 passenger van. Of course they have fights and sibling squabbles but their mom would just stop the car or withhold doing things until they could get along again. These parents love each one of their ten children and the children each know they are loved. They read scriptures together they pray together they work together. There are so many things I have learned to do with my children. Of course I'm writing my blog instead of implimenting all of this with my kids because I'm so tired.
It has been exhausting but fun and so much easier on us as the host instead of being the guest. I am so grateful we've had family come visit us this summer. It is so much easier on our pocket-book, on our children's sleep, on our sleep to be able to stay in our own home and have people visit, esspecially since we have still young children which are so hard to travel with. I think a key with family visiting is just loving and helping eachother, respecting one another and communicating. Wow, I'm so tired to think in and out of everyday is like this and even more crazy when not on vacation for K & M is amazing. I am so grateful for parents like them who bring these beautiful children into the world and raise them to be wonderful citizens, wonderful people and wonderful parents themselves one day.
When we were walking around the local campus as a big group, I thought it was really neat for these kids, they will always know they belong with their family and they have a group that they will always belong to. One brother had cruches and couldn't make the long walk, his older brother stayed and sat with him and later even gave him a piggy-back ride to meet up with the big 15 passenger van. Of course they have fights and sibling squabbles but their mom would just stop the car or withhold doing things until they could get along again. These parents love each one of their ten children and the children each know they are loved. They read scriptures together they pray together they work together. There are so many things I have learned to do with my children. Of course I'm writing my blog instead of implimenting all of this with my kids because I'm so tired.
It has been exhausting but fun and so much easier on us as the host instead of being the guest. I am so grateful we've had family come visit us this summer. It is so much easier on our pocket-book, on our children's sleep, on our sleep to be able to stay in our own home and have people visit, esspecially since we have still young children which are so hard to travel with. I think a key with family visiting is just loving and helping eachother, respecting one another and communicating. Wow, I'm so tired to think in and out of everyday is like this and even more crazy when not on vacation for K & M is amazing. I am so grateful for parents like them who bring these beautiful children into the world and raise them to be wonderful citizens, wonderful people and wonderful parents themselves one day.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Ups and Downs
Is it interesting how our energy levels can go up and down and our emotions. I talk to other women and I wonder if it is a woman thing. I'll go through so many emotions, I'll have a wonderful day just playing and being happy with my kids, the next day everything sets me off and I have no energy and feel crazy. So not only those cycles but the cycles women in general have every month, I get headaches and oneryness before those cycles. This one has been particularly bad, even clots so I think it might actually be an early miscarriage. I am sad about it but maybe because I never actually took the pregnancy test and it would have been really early like 4 weeks I can sort of tell myself it isn't happening. Though emotionally and physically I feel drained and sad. It usually takes me 2-3 years to get pregnant so in my mind it just isn't time yet, my babies not even two yet, that's what I tell myself.
My husband's mother just came into town this last week, you should have seen the energy I had I got the house clean top to bottom, and soon we'll have more family tonight or tomorrow, but I'm a bit drained right now so I'll take it slow and do what I can, they have ten kids, I'm sure they'll understand if everything isn't perfect. I do like having guests it gets me to clean my house and gives me energy to do it and organize beyond the daily stuff. I love having family come here, it is so much easier then traveling elsewhere with little ones. It is so nice to see family, I have great in-laws and it was so neat to marry into a family where I could have older sisters, I always wanted older sisters and I got my wish when I married.
My family was all here earlier in June, it was so fun, but short at the same time, it seems like when we got comfortable again with eachother then everyone had to go their separate ways. It's nice there is eternity with family, to know we can be together forever. I dread my children growning up sometimes, I want them to, but I love how close we are now while they are young. Yet I don't know quite how it works, but they will be my family forever if I can try to make good choices and choose the right, what better incentive could I have then to be part of Heavenly Father's family and live with Him again with my husband and children.
My husband's mother just came into town this last week, you should have seen the energy I had I got the house clean top to bottom, and soon we'll have more family tonight or tomorrow, but I'm a bit drained right now so I'll take it slow and do what I can, they have ten kids, I'm sure they'll understand if everything isn't perfect. I do like having guests it gets me to clean my house and gives me energy to do it and organize beyond the daily stuff. I love having family come here, it is so much easier then traveling elsewhere with little ones. It is so nice to see family, I have great in-laws and it was so neat to marry into a family where I could have older sisters, I always wanted older sisters and I got my wish when I married.
My family was all here earlier in June, it was so fun, but short at the same time, it seems like when we got comfortable again with eachother then everyone had to go their separate ways. It's nice there is eternity with family, to know we can be together forever. I dread my children growning up sometimes, I want them to, but I love how close we are now while they are young. Yet I don't know quite how it works, but they will be my family forever if I can try to make good choices and choose the right, what better incentive could I have then to be part of Heavenly Father's family and live with Him again with my husband and children.
Monday, June 30, 2008
What do you think about in the middle of the night?
When your up with children and crickets, what do you think about? Its funny but I playout frustrating times. It seems like the frustrating times are when there were unpleasant circumstances that I didn't feel like I could properly communicate to help myself out of them. Last night I remembered when I was pregnant, working full-time 8-5 and living in student housing.
Our neighbors through the wall had a baby that would scream from 1 or 2 am until 6 am everynight. Our ciderblock walls reverberated the sound and the child might as well have been in our bed crying in my ear. The only difference is I could go and comfort the baby, rock it, sing to it and feed it and put it back to sleep. I felt it would be rude to the poor parents I didn't know how to bring it up without being presumptious. I don't think the parents once got up with that child. Maybe they were nieve parents who expected babies to sleep through the night right away and let her cry it out, maybe they were deep sleepers and didn't even hear her cry, maybe they had no idea how miserable it was for us, maybe the baby was teething. I'll never know because I never talked to them about it the cloest thing was with sympathy in my voice I asked if their baby was teething, I just wanted to know why, why why???
I wished I had talked to them, maybe offered to come rock the baby or feed her a bottle, or at least know that they were trying to comfort her or had done what they could. I used almost all my sick time at my job to catch up on sleep during those months, on those nights I only got 2-3 hours of sleep calling in and letting my supervisor know I'd be a little late so I could just get a few more hours of sleep so I could function.
Of course I don't know if this is related or not, but the baby I was pregnant with turned out to be colic, and we would spend countless hours up with our daughter as she screamed, bright red, standing stiff as a standing board during the ungodly hours of the night. I'd rock her for 6-8 hours a day, luckily she was my first and I could do that and sleep when she finally slept. I'd often lay on the floor with one hand on her bouncy seat at night so I could bounce it for her when she started up again. My husband and I worked it out that on week days when he had work I'd only wake him up if it was the fifth time up with the baby and on weekends he'd be up everyother time.
I had a sweet lady who lived in the apartment above me who was like a second mom, Sister Preito from Brazil. She would give me lunch and give me tips and help hold my baby and show me little tricks of the trade everyday. Always build me up and tell me I was a wonderful mother helping me so much when I was feeling discouraged and down. She will always have a place in heaven in my book, an angel. Of course I had wonderful family too and my sweet husband, maybe I won't judge after all that poor couple through the cinderblock walls in our student apartments.
Our neighbors through the wall had a baby that would scream from 1 or 2 am until 6 am everynight. Our ciderblock walls reverberated the sound and the child might as well have been in our bed crying in my ear. The only difference is I could go and comfort the baby, rock it, sing to it and feed it and put it back to sleep. I felt it would be rude to the poor parents I didn't know how to bring it up without being presumptious. I don't think the parents once got up with that child. Maybe they were nieve parents who expected babies to sleep through the night right away and let her cry it out, maybe they were deep sleepers and didn't even hear her cry, maybe they had no idea how miserable it was for us, maybe the baby was teething. I'll never know because I never talked to them about it the cloest thing was with sympathy in my voice I asked if their baby was teething, I just wanted to know why, why why???
I wished I had talked to them, maybe offered to come rock the baby or feed her a bottle, or at least know that they were trying to comfort her or had done what they could. I used almost all my sick time at my job to catch up on sleep during those months, on those nights I only got 2-3 hours of sleep calling in and letting my supervisor know I'd be a little late so I could just get a few more hours of sleep so I could function.
Of course I don't know if this is related or not, but the baby I was pregnant with turned out to be colic, and we would spend countless hours up with our daughter as she screamed, bright red, standing stiff as a standing board during the ungodly hours of the night. I'd rock her for 6-8 hours a day, luckily she was my first and I could do that and sleep when she finally slept. I'd often lay on the floor with one hand on her bouncy seat at night so I could bounce it for her when she started up again. My husband and I worked it out that on week days when he had work I'd only wake him up if it was the fifth time up with the baby and on weekends he'd be up everyother time.
I had a sweet lady who lived in the apartment above me who was like a second mom, Sister Preito from Brazil. She would give me lunch and give me tips and help hold my baby and show me little tricks of the trade everyday. Always build me up and tell me I was a wonderful mother helping me so much when I was feeling discouraged and down. She will always have a place in heaven in my book, an angel. Of course I had wonderful family too and my sweet husband, maybe I won't judge after all that poor couple through the cinderblock walls in our student apartments.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Another GIrls night
Last night I had a bit of spontaneous night out with my neighbor. We went to her sisters and help move furniture and redecorate her house and shelves in preparation for selling the home. My husband thought it was a weird night out, but it was fun to drive in the car and talk, redecorate someone elses house and be creative. Also it's nice to do a project finish it and leave and not see it all messed up, like with housework at home.
It's been a little crazy at home and I've felt like I've been so busy and working hard, but it doesn't always show. Like I've been organizing and sorting through papers and finances, actually saw the bottom of the laundry floor (actually got through my whole mountain of laundry) and deep cleaned the whole room. I've been waking up early and going to bed late with the help of the birds, allergies and children. So it was so nice to get away and do something different and new. We did pick up some ice cream sandwiches and juice as a treat.
So today the focus is making the rest of the house look clean and organized now that I have some underlying things done like laundry and filiing. I have to get the kids to help me pick up and clean the guest room downstairs. Sometimes the kids use it as their crazy room, I let them jump on that bed and it is where the dress -up is stored and all our extra bedding so you can imagine sometimes I'll wander into that remote part of the house and have to stiffle a scream. I have family coming in and it is amazing how fast you can get things done when you have a deadline when someone is coming over. Anyways, it was nice to have a get away doing something new.
It's been a little crazy at home and I've felt like I've been so busy and working hard, but it doesn't always show. Like I've been organizing and sorting through papers and finances, actually saw the bottom of the laundry floor (actually got through my whole mountain of laundry) and deep cleaned the whole room. I've been waking up early and going to bed late with the help of the birds, allergies and children. So it was so nice to get away and do something different and new. We did pick up some ice cream sandwiches and juice as a treat.
So today the focus is making the rest of the house look clean and organized now that I have some underlying things done like laundry and filiing. I have to get the kids to help me pick up and clean the guest room downstairs. Sometimes the kids use it as their crazy room, I let them jump on that bed and it is where the dress -up is stored and all our extra bedding so you can imagine sometimes I'll wander into that remote part of the house and have to stiffle a scream. I have family coming in and it is amazing how fast you can get things done when you have a deadline when someone is coming over. Anyways, it was nice to have a get away doing something new.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Not so good idea
So, I tried the one month shopping thing, not such a good idea. Its the end of the month and I ended up going over budget because we had run out of groceries two weeks early. Yes, I still have stuff from the big shopping, but I think the key really is meal planning. Which is easier to do on a weekly basis, still buy that bulk stuff but spread it out over the month into the weekly shopping. Good news is I still have a months worth of diapers and wipes I won't have to buy next month and it will probably even itself out over two months, but I find it easier to stay on budget and have what I need with the weekly shopping, much better idea.
Also, even though my husband has been willing, I've been lax about taking my night off, infact I haven't taken a decent night off for a month at least. Yes, my husband broke his pinky and had a cast, then I had to do emergency bill paying, then a tax night, then just get caught up on the house night. So I'm arranging with my mom and sisters to have a girl night, and then take off for a library, shopping, exercise night. Just plan ahead and be prepared for a night off, I really do need them and they truly contribute to my sanity and happiness. I am also looking into taking an art class or a math class (so I can finish a promise I made to a professer long ago, whole different story). I was able to have a book group for an hour last week and I have a wonderful neighbor who helps out so much. In fact she just came over so she could get out of the house and we just visited while I did housework, and she pitched in too, it was so fun, now that is a good idea.
Also, even though my husband has been willing, I've been lax about taking my night off, infact I haven't taken a decent night off for a month at least. Yes, my husband broke his pinky and had a cast, then I had to do emergency bill paying, then a tax night, then just get caught up on the house night. So I'm arranging with my mom and sisters to have a girl night, and then take off for a library, shopping, exercise night. Just plan ahead and be prepared for a night off, I really do need them and they truly contribute to my sanity and happiness. I am also looking into taking an art class or a math class (so I can finish a promise I made to a professer long ago, whole different story). I was able to have a book group for an hour last week and I have a wonderful neighbor who helps out so much. In fact she just came over so she could get out of the house and we just visited while I did housework, and she pitched in too, it was so fun, now that is a good idea.
Monday, May 12, 2008
To women
I'd like to pay tribute to so many wonderful women in my life, mothers and not-yet mother's. My little sister who my kids love, my mom's mission companion who has remembered all of my babies and brought sugar cookies, ornaments, wonderful things for us every Christmas. For my Aunt stuck between a bunch of brothers who is creative and thoughtful and helping with crafts and ideas all the time. Of my kids nursury leader who even helped me out watching my kids in a pinch the day after Christmas. To my writing group all of them friends and women I have only gotten to feel like sisters with. To my book group and including me in all of their smarts. Of a wonderful nurse in my neighborhood who travels, is full of wisdom and is an amazing teacher. To my sisters who now treat me like the little sister, they really do seemed to have more wisdom then me sometimes, to my sister-in-laws putting up with my brothers. Of many older women who are my friends, age no longer matters except in the fact they have lived life so much longer than me and I can just bask in their knowledge and wisdom. To my friends who I could talk hours to who I could call upon anytime if I needed help. My namesake mother, my mother-in-law who shares the same name and raised a son they can do laundry, cook, clean, work hard and provide and be so sweet with me and our children. My grandmothers who are now both past who I loved so much. My very own sweet mother who I will feel sucessful if I can be half as sacrificing, amazing and wonderful as she was to me as a mother and who now is a friend to me too.
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