Day 4

Well…. I ate tons of licorice this morning, I found it in the cupboard and was feeling a bit down. I took a pregnancy test that was negative, yes it might have been to early, but.. probably not.

Ate my kids left over cinnamon toast cereal.

Helped a friend with her kids.

Went to my writer’s conference, not so many hats today in the audience. Great lecturers, actually meet a few friends my cousin, a young man I thought was in China, and my friend Stacey that I haven’t seen for ages and I just love, one of those friendships you wish you had kept up. So I’m hoping to meet up with her tomorrow, just a neat person.

While there I ate a few of the quesadilla triangles my husband made, actually I think that is all for lunch.

However when I got back from the conference after 8:00 I helped put the kids to bed then watched shows with my husband and had ice cream, chicken soup and two muffins late at night, probably not the best.

Day 2 and 3

Day 2

P.S. I’m doing this inspired by my sister Ruth a way to document my days and report how healthy I’m being

Breakfast: Cake
Lunch: Cake and trial mix
Dinner: vegetable curry rice
Almost caught up on laundry, able to help friends with childcare, organizing schedule for the week, actually did some filing.

Day 3

Took kids to school twice (you know different schedules etc)
Volunteered in daughter’s class
Breakfast was…a waffle with chocolate syrup on it (my son made it)
Went to 7 hours of writer’s conference
Lunch: more curried rice and vegetables, and fresh cut hicama, celery, cucumber
Headache after 7 hours, came home helped with homework, did a little shopping
Dinner my husband made really cheesy quasidillas with meat inside and some cucumber
(good news is I didn’t do any night time snacking, too tired)

30 days of life day 1

Woke up at 6:15 yea!!
Checked emails, updated on blogs, made breakfast before kids up

Not the healthiest breakfast: Dutch-babies (German pancakes sprinkled with lemon juice and powdered sugar) bacon and orange slices, hectic scripture time, lost temper with daughter not getting dressed for the day etc….

Lunch I got together with my writing group and we had a pot-luck. Delicious: enchilada casserole, bean/salsa/sausage soup, vegetable lasagna, 3 bean salad, chocolate covered nuts and dried fruit. We talked about little places we liked to go as a child. I remember tucking myself away in my Grandma V.’s loft, I’d read books, write and hide away. By Grandma and Grandpa D.’s we’d hide away and consort behind the sweet smelling lilac bushes. I’d go exploring at our end of the land for adventures.

Then when the kids came home it was taking my son to his Chinese tutor’s apartment, reading with the kids, writing, math, then piano lessons and warming up leftover lasagna for dinner.

I actually didn’t eat with the kids, Gordon came home and I went to our RS game night. I snacked on cookies, cake, muffins, popcorn and had a blast, rolling on the ground with laughter, I had a wonderful time. I have a new favorite game.

First: Everyone writes a question on their paper then pass to the player on their left. (best if at least 6 people)

The player answers your question and folds your question over so no one can see it, and passes the paper.

The next person writes a question that has an answer that fits the above writing. Then folds the paper again so only their question is on the paper.

The next player answers the new question. Etc.. Until you get your own paper back (it is helpful if you have a bunch of clipboards or someway to know it’s your paper.

Then at the end everyone reads their whole paper it is hilarious.

When I came home Gordon had all the kids in bed and we got to spend some cuddle time together, a good day, if not the healthiest.

Creative thoughts

So here is the deal. I make all these goals and have all these amazing ideas. Songs I want to write, stories I want to write, crafts I want to make, gifts I want to give. Yet, the follow through I just can't do. How do you take all of your wonderful ideas, intentions and actually follow through and do them? How do you find the time, motivation and not get too overwhelmed by the real thing? How do I give myself the shot of confidence and ambition now that I'm an adult and all those dreams seem so far away. I'm trying to make goals, but then I sit down at the computer or piano, or at the craft and it's like the doubts, the work involved the reality that I'm not the best at anything just comes crowding in, let alone my daily responsibilities. If you have any ideas I'd love to hear them. So much I want to do, but following through is killing me.

Marriage thoughts

Yesterday one of my cousins was married. He and his wife were both a little older, early thirties. They had a beautiful dinner and reception, wasn't only the venue beautiful (the UofU MOA) but most importantly they took the time to mingle and visit with everyone one on one. You felt important and stories were told about them and their courtship, they both seemed so at peace and you could feel a beautiful spirit in the room, so happy they found eachother. He has a crazy job where he has been off in Siberia and a few weeks from now they'll be going to Indonesia for an adventure with his job. While he was in Siberia and Tulsa (for training) Sarah(his wife) has been coming to all the family activities and already feels part of the family, so down to earth, sweet, sensitive, loyal. I am so happy for them.

I thought of my marriage, I was so young, but I've grown and developed so much, our love has developed so much, we just had to do our growing up together, I wonder would it would be like to already be grown up when you get married like this couple? Yet at the same time I think I needed Gordon's strength and love and the trials we've been through to get where I am. And I still feel I'm just a child still always learning, so unaware, still trying to get a handle on things.

I also loved going to their reception because of the long drive, I know that sounds silly, but that is when Gordon and I talk the best is in the car, no kids to distract, just time to talk, we make resolutions, talk about things we need to in our life, and get on the same page. Our wonderful friends the Tenney's watched our kids, I feel I am always in their debt and though they are younger then us, they've already gone far and beyond and we can look to them as examples in so many ways.

I thought of all the girl friends I have and how Gordon's always been supportive of those relationships, smart really. He realizes I always am a happier person and less needy when I make the time for friends. I am so grateful for my marriage, for my husband, the examples of couples around us, and the support I feel and how we are constantly learning and growning through our whole lives.

Society thoughts

I've had a few thoughts. I was thinking of the problem of our overflowing jails. I was thinking of our healthcare expenses and these are some ideas. I wonder if we had more immediate and a little more sever punishments if there would be less crime, if the temptation wouldn't be as enticing to commit crime if there would more of a consequence.

This relates to health care because I understand a lot of the expense comes from suits, so what if there was a consequence (like having to cover the court and attorney fees for the person/organization they are sueing). What if caps were put on pain and suffering claims? What if every doctor worked with a partner that they could consult with, get a second opinion, and cover when they are gone so they aren't working too many hours? Doctors who did this would get a tax deduction and/or cheaper lawsuit coverage? What if every health appeal, or wrongful doing went through arbitration with a panel of educated doctors on the panel reviewing the case?

What if parents who were able to work through their problems and stay together in marriage and are attentive nurturing parents got tax credits and those who neglect and ignore their children and their education are taxed for it. Maybe recommendations from teachers and doctors allowing tax breaks? Some random brainstorming, ideas, loved to hear what you think.

Sunday reflections

Today I'm teaching my primary class about the handcart pioneers. Part of that lesson is teaching about the three eighteen year old boys who carried almost the entire Martin Handcart company across the Sweetwater River, all three of them died soon after and how Brigham Young said that act alone would secure them a place in the Celestial Kingdom. I always cry when I hear that story.

In the lesson we memorize: "And, if you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God." D& C 14:7 "Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days" D&C 24:8 When I read about this I think about how many people I know going through afflictions. I also think of my Grandmother who felt like old age was the hardest affliction she had to go through and how even at the end we have to endure to the end.

I also read these passages and I feel like it is relevent to me, that I have many afflictions I don't even know that will be coming into my life. It causes me some anxiety, the the peace before the storm, not knowing what the storm will bring. Right now is a time I need to be building up my stores of oil, so I'm ready when the hard times come. I am so grateful for my family, for my children, for wonderful friends and for the gospel, the scriptures, for a home, for my husband to have a job, for the opportunity to stay home with my children, for my new little nephew so precious and beautiful. I am filled with gratitude in my heart and appreciation for all the wonderful examples around me.