Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Understanding in disguise

Lately my son has been having a hard time. He’s been more defiant, ignoring us, hurting his sisters, yelling, refusing to sit or be quiet in situations where it is needed. He does seem to do much better if we completely smother him with praise for anything he does do to be helpful or kind, if we give him a lot of one on one and lots of active attention. It is hard when he seems to do much better with his preschool teacher or others then he does with us, his parents.

Last night though, I realized something wonderful and special. I love him just as much when he is giving us a hard time as when he is cuddling and sweet and obedient. It is a nicer time with him, but I love him just as much either way. Parenting opened my eyes to how much more and even more perfect my Heavenly Father’s love is for me even when I’m hard to be with and being difficult. It gives me courage to continue to work with him, to have patience and try many ideas that I and others have thought of that might help.

I do think the extra praise and attention will be a key factor, along with the being consistent and following through. Right now he is playing at being a little doggie with his sisters and being so sweet, it is always easier at home, where I can control the environment more. It’s harder when you are at Church, a friends, or at a store and my husband and I will just have to work together to help him know how to be polite, appropriate and be the little boy I know his is and can be.

2 comments:

Pam's Place said...

Sarah, Your little boy is a sweetie, and so are the girls. I think our children's behavior is more challenging to us as parents than it is to others around us, because we tend to worry about what others may think. That is not important. You have chosen the better part.

Lynne's Somewhat Invented Life said...

Sarah, you have discovered something that many people will never know: That Heavenly Father loves us no matter what. When we are misbehaving we feel like we are not worthy and therefore are not worth much. But we ARE worthy and we ARE worth much. Just as you love your little boy, Father loves us. A great thing to discover.

You boy will be fine. He is a huge spirit in a little body and it is hard to not be able to be in control like he was for so many millions of years. He will be fine. Especially with you and your husband as parents. You are a wonderful mother. I have watched you in action and you will be successful--you ARE successful.