The amazing adventures of ....

Day 8 and 9 healthier living

2012-02-13T07:38:00.000-08:00

Life is catching up with me
Overwhelmed, out of time, exhausted
Trying to eat right, do the right

Loved my mom's black-bean burgers
Guacamole, salsa chips with them, delicious
Made my kids eat my mostly-carrot soup

Recognizing the need to exercise, strengthen
Need for sleep, not able to get now
Needing to manage better time and efforts

Looking for more recipes, easy and tasty
Needing to keep it simple, need to keep it realistic
Find sanity in all aspects, balance in life

Day 6 and 7 plant-based diet

2012-02-10T07:36:00.000-08:00

Lentil and Rice Casserole (based on recipe from Practical Cookery: Vegetarian)
My own adjustments from this recipe my sister shared (My kids approved)

1 c dry lentils
1/2 c rice
5 c vegetable stock
1/2 sweet onion, diced
2 minced garlic
14 oz can diced tomatoes
1 tsp ground cumin
1/2 tsp chili powder
1 bell pepper, seeded and sliced
3 1/2 oz brocoli florets
1 tsp basil
salt and pepper

1. Put lentils, rice and vegetable stock in rice cooker for about 20 min.
2. Then add remaining ingredients to the pot
3. Keep in rice cooker for 10-15 min. or timer on rice cooker goes off and vegetables are tender

I made this last night, and everyone loved it. My slip-ups the last two nights have been cookies from Days (our local grocery store). I find I still need the comfort sugar food on really hard days. The baby more fussy and crying, my oldest crying with her new braces, overwhelmed with laundry, housework. There are more dishes with this diet, but I am starting to feel more energy so it makes up for that.

I went to the doctor yesterday, he thought it wouldn't hurt to test me again in a couple months and see if this diet has made a difference, he didn't know that it would. He also thought my pregnancy might have messed up my numbers as well and separating myself from the pregnancy as well might help my numbers too. So we'll see what a few months bring, but like one of my friends pointed out, it still is a good idea to keep eating healthy, living a better life style.

Day 4 and 5 plant based diet

2012-02-08T05:46:00.000-08:00

So last night for fun I made homemade french fries (not the healthiest) but it was fun with veg i-burgers, asparagus spears. I boiled the asparagus in salted/lemon juice water and they came out a beautiful green. The kids have been eating the yogurt and drinking the milk with cereal so that helps me feel like they aren't going to waste.

I don't think milk is bad or eggs either, I told myself I would have them once a week, but I am almost afraid to breakdown and have them, so I think I will just chose a day and that is the day I have milk on cereal and egg for breakfast, I'm thinking Saturday morning would be good.

Anyways, so far it really hasn't been too bad, I get hungry more often, but if I feel hungry I just grab a few multi-grain chips, a handful of nuts, and maybe a strawberry and I feel full, a nice hold me over between meals. Off to the dentist now.

Day 3 plant based diet

2012-02-06T10:08:00.000-08:00

Green Smoothie

2 1/2 c water
1/2 tsp honey or other sweetener
Juice from whole lime or 1/2 lemon
1-3 TB flax seed oil ( I just put in flax seeds)
Add to 5 C line: 3/4-1 lb raw washed greens (spinach, Romaine lettuce, kale, Swiss chard)--I also add carrots, celery, cilantro, or cucumber
1-2 bananas
1-2 frozen mixed berries
Any other fruit to taste (pears, apples, cantaloupes, apricots, oranges, pineapples, mangos)--I like the mixed tropical fruit from Costco

This is a recipe from my sister Mary too, I didn't have flax seed or even frozen fruit, but I made this at breakfast and the whole family seemed to like it even though it was very green.

I just snacked on multi-grain chips and nuts, finished my daughter's smoothie. I just got back from Costco and was impressed with the amount of healthy foods I could buy there. I got some more Quinoa, vegie-burgers, vegie-sausage, frozen fruit mix, granola bars whole wheat bread, flat-bread chips, almonds. (I decided I needed some easy convenience food for those hectic days)

For lunch I plan on eating some of my special oregano black bean recipe and rice that is already made in the fridge. So far just keeping it simple has been nice. Also, Honks (a dollar store) is a great place to reward yourself or find pleasure (a shopping spree) without feeling guilty and isn't food based. I bought needed hair bands, hair brush, laundry basket, garbage can, working pens, scissors, tape and cute little heart decorated baskets I can use for socks or toys in the babies room.

Tonight we are having a friend and her two boys over for FHE I had already said we would get a pizza (before my vegan choice) so I'll have Gordon pick up a 5$ one on the way home but then also offer vege burgers and/or a well rounded salad with kidney beans and a variety of healthy vegetables and maybe some crasins in it.

Day 2 Sort of vegan diet

2012-02-05T10:06:00.000-08:00

Quinoa and Black Beans (from AllRecipes.com)
1 tsp vegetable oil
2 cloves garlic, peeled and chopped
3/4 uncooked quinoa
1 1/2 c vegetable broth (I use the Better than Bouillon vegetable base found in the spice section of Costco--cheap, organic, low sodium, and no MSG!)
1 tsp cumin
salt and pepper to taste
1 c frozen corn kernels
2 (15 oz)cans black beans rinsed and drained
1/2c chopped fresh cilantro
Serve with: lettuce, tomatoes, sliced avocado, and lime juice

1.Heat oil in saucepan over medium heat. Stir in onion and garlic, and saute until lightly browned.
2. Mix quinoa into the saucepan and cover with vegetable broth. Season with cumin, salt, and pepper. Bring to boil, cover, reduce heat and simmer 20 minutes.
3. Stir frozen corn into saucepan and simmer 5 more minutes until heated through. Mix in black beans and cilantro.

This is a recipe my sister shared that we had last night, the whole family liked it, if anything I'd add even more cilantro oh, and I added 1/2 a sweet onion.

I had carrot juice, water and apple slices for breakfast this morning and am full, then we are going to my nephew's baby blessing and I'll probably just eat what they have there afterwards.

It made me feel really good to make the quinoa/blackbean recipe, it was a new receipe that fit the diet I wanted, easy enough to make and it tasted good, so I'm excited to try some other ones. This wasn't too hard, we did have to go to two stores to find the quinoa though.

Second day, feeling positive and not letting myself be discouraged by slip-ups (like having some peanut m&m's) I sort of justified it by telling myself the nuts were healthy and it wasn't like eating straight animal product, but I do need to be careful of the sugars too. I like my other sisters idea I should add some moderate exercise, I'll try I guess it is hard when I feel pretty tired still with baby.

Day 1 vegan type diet

2012-02-04T11:55:00.000-08:00

So my sister's had me watch Forks over Knifes on Netflix. So it motivated me to try an experiment on my own. My health could definitely improve, I did not like the lab results I got last so... I am going to try a mostly vegan diet for two months and have my doctor retest and see how my numbers look and see if the diet really does make a difference for me. I will allow cheating if we are visiting family and friends during meals and I might have milk or yogurt with healthy cereal and occasional egg, but that is all. The focus will be whole grains, vegetables and fruit.

So far today on breakfast we had strawberries, bananas with soy milk on our oatmeal. Sides of carrot juice, strawberry/apple juice/ cantaloupe, it was delicious and wonderful.

Lunch was canned green beans (I am hoping to start lowering the canned goods), mufti-grain Chips from Costco, apple slices and apple/strawberry juice (made by my son). I'm also trying to drink plenty of water. So I just made this resolution this morning, but I really feel like it is worth trying, thus the blog, I'll try to keep this up daily.

Days >??? Day 9

2011-02-26T07:54:00.000-08:00

Actually, I skipped a few days and can't remember what I'm on, we'll call it Day 9
Life is full and busy. We've had our nephew Jonathan visiting and have enjoyed that a lot. He is so polite and J. enjoys having a little brother/cousin around and Em. has enjoyed having a playmate during the school days. It has been snowing, snowing, though the nice sun came out yesterday and cleared off our walks. Laundry, cleaning. Yesterday was the first day in several days I had two hours together to even get focused on housework. I love my books on tape. Right now I'm listening to Enna Burning by Shannon Hale and Elantris by Brandon Sanderson, and the Bible written by Prophets.

Day 8

2011-02-23T07:46:00.000-08:00

Granola cereal
Helped a friend (I think this is a temporary thing, and even more important then going to the gym. Life is choices, but maybe while I'm doing this I can try to come up with a routine at home I can do that can use on days where other priorities take over)
Wrote my second sci-fi poem
Had writing group with my friends
Watched kids, took son to Chinese tutor
Fast dinner, chow mein noodles, buffalo chicken, green beans, hash browns
Saw my daughter in her 5th grade wax museum she was Mary Cassatt
Went to bed at a decent hour

Day 7

2011-02-22T08:17:00.001-08:00

Dutch babies (german pancakes) and juice for breakfast

Got a blood pregnancy test (negative)

Spent a wonderful day with the family, movie, dinosaur museum, farm, eating an Asian buffet for dinner, so delicious, and still got the kids to bed on time, it was so nice to have Gordon home for this holiday.

Then I cried, got it all out when I found out about the pregnancy test at the end of the day, this was our second procedure and I was really hoping it would work, I’m still sad and unsure if we should continue, and what my role and what I should be pursuing with my children growing up, they need me and I’ll be so busy, but should I be focusing on other things, try another procedure? Do we look at adoption, do we move on to this next stage of life, and what does that involve for me? My husband has been a great comfort and the three wonderful children I have. He just holds me and tells me three children are fine, and he loves me. Just what I need to hear, he is so supportive and just wonderful.

Day 6

2011-02-20T20:21:00.000-08:00

Exercise: Well sort of – snow shoveled for 15 min.

Breakfast: cold cereal

Then choir, stop by parents make sure their house is locked while they are gone, drive around the temple with the kids while singing, “I love to see the temple”, Stopped by grandpa’s and visited for a min. while husband shoveled the driveway.

Quesidillas with pico de miyo

Church where we partook of the sacrament, learned about Jesus’ miracles, and talked about sacrifice. My opinion is that we often look at sacrifice as a negative or painful thing, it should hurt a little bit, but it doesn’t have to be negative, it can be very positive, and seen as something that blesses us in spiritual ways.

Came back, had more chow mein noodles, chips and pico de miyo and ice cream with chocolate ( I know it just sounded really good to me, I sort of like spoiling myself, but not always good)

Practiced the piano for over an hour

Cuddled with the kids put them to bed with books and songs and prayers and teeth care.

Now updating blog, checking emails, and writing a letter for each of my kids, sort of journal entries for them (got this idea from one of the presenters at the conference).

Day 5

2011-02-20T20:05:00.000-08:00

Breakfast: 2 eggs and four slices of bacon

Wrote my first Sci-Fi poem

Helped a friend with her kids

Went to the last day of the conference. It was neat to go, got to work one on one with a poet who looked over my poem, talked to three of the presenters personally, it was really neat.
Enjoyed classes on writing for young adults and participating two hours in the Writing Excuses podcast, that was really fun. And still debating wither I will read “I’m not really a Serial Killer” I heard it was really good, and seemed very intriguing, but I just don’t know what to think, maybe if my husband will read it with me I won’t get too scared.

Came back, ate a bunch of fish tacos our Mexican friend who lives with us made and the chow mein noodles she cooked.
We had some of our best friends over while the parents had there turn for a date (we switch off, it has been so nice) I got my baby cuddle time and that will hold me over for a while. Overall, Good day.

Day 4

2011-02-19T08:09:00.001-08:00

Well…. I ate tons of licorice this morning, I found it in the cupboard and was feeling a bit down. I took a pregnancy test that was negative, yes it might have been to early, but.. probably not.

Ate my kids left over cinnamon toast cereal.

Helped a friend with her kids.

Went to my writer’s conference, not so many hats today in the audience. Great lecturers, actually meet a few friends my cousin, a young man I thought was in China, and my friend Stacey that I haven’t seen for ages and I just love, one of those friendships you wish you had kept up. So I’m hoping to meet up with her tomorrow, just a neat person.

While there I ate a few of the quesadilla triangles my husband made, actually I think that is all for lunch.

However when I got back from the conference after 8:00 I helped put the kids to bed then watched shows with my husband and had ice cream, chicken soup and two muffins late at night, probably not the best.

Day 2 and 3

2011-02-18T06:12:00.001-08:00

Day 2

P.S. I’m doing this inspired by my sister Ruth a way to document my days and report how healthy I’m being

Breakfast: Cake
Lunch: Cake and trial mix
Dinner: vegetable curry rice
Almost caught up on laundry, able to help friends with childcare, organizing schedule for the week, actually did some filing.

Day 3

Took kids to school twice (you know different schedules etc)
Volunteered in daughter’s class
Breakfast was…a waffle with chocolate syrup on it (my son made it)
Went to 7 hours of writer’s conference
Lunch: more curried rice and vegetables, and fresh cut hicama, celery, cucumber
Headache after 7 hours, came home helped with homework, did a little shopping
Dinner my husband made really cheesy quasidillas with meat inside and some cucumber
(good news is I didn’t do any night time snacking, too tired)

30 days of life day 1

2011-02-16T14:35:00.001-08:00

Woke up at 6:15 yea!!
Checked emails, updated on blogs, made breakfast before kids up

Not the healthiest breakfast: Dutch-babies (German pancakes sprinkled with lemon juice and powdered sugar) bacon and orange slices, hectic scripture time, lost temper with daughter not getting dressed for the day etc….

Lunch I got together with my writing group and we had a pot-luck. Delicious: enchilada casserole, bean/salsa/sausage soup, vegetable lasagna, 3 bean salad, chocolate covered nuts and dried fruit. We talked about little places we liked to go as a child. I remember tucking myself away in my Grandma V.’s loft, I’d read books, write and hide away. By Grandma and Grandpa D.’s we’d hide away and consort behind the sweet smelling lilac bushes. I’d go exploring at our end of the land for adventures.

Then when the kids came home it was taking my son to his Chinese tutor’s apartment, reading with the kids, writing, math, then piano lessons and warming up leftover lasagna for dinner.

I actually didn’t eat with the kids, Gordon came home and I went to our RS game night. I snacked on cookies, cake, muffins, popcorn and had a blast, rolling on the ground with laughter, I had a wonderful time. I have a new favorite game.

First: Everyone writes a question on their paper then pass to the player on their left. (best if at least 6 people)

The player answers your question and folds your question over so no one can see it, and passes the paper.

The next person writes a question that has an answer that fits the above writing. Then folds the paper again so only their question is on the paper.

The next player answers the new question. Etc.. Until you get your own paper back (it is helpful if you have a bunch of clipboards or someway to know it’s your paper.

Then at the end everyone reads their whole paper it is hilarious.

When I came home Gordon had all the kids in bed and we got to spend some cuddle time together, a good day, if not the healthiest.

Creative thoughts

2010-10-08T11:33:00.000-07:00

So here is the deal. I make all these goals and have all these amazing ideas. Songs I want to write, stories I want to write, crafts I want to make, gifts I want to give. Yet, the follow through I just can't do. How do you take all of your wonderful ideas, intentions and actually follow through and do them? How do you find the time, motivation and not get too overwhelmed by the real thing? How do I give myself the shot of confidence and ambition now that I'm an adult and all those dreams seem so far away. I'm trying to make goals, but then I sit down at the computer or piano, or at the craft and it's like the doubts, the work involved the reality that I'm not the best at anything just comes crowding in, let alone my daily responsibilities. If you have any ideas I'd love to hear them. So much I want to do, but following through is killing me.

Marriage thoughts

2010-07-11T06:34:00.000-07:00

Yesterday one of my cousins was married. He and his wife were both a little older, early thirties. They had a beautiful dinner and reception, wasn't only the venue beautiful (the UofU MOA) but most importantly they took the time to mingle and visit with everyone one on one. You felt important and stories were told about them and their courtship, they both seemed so at peace and you could feel a beautiful spirit in the room, so happy they found eachother. He has a crazy job where he has been off in Siberia and a few weeks from now they'll be going to Indonesia for an adventure with his job. While he was in Siberia and Tulsa (for training) Sarah(his wife) has been coming to all the family activities and already feels part of the family, so down to earth, sweet, sensitive, loyal. I am so happy for them.

I thought of my marriage, I was so young, but I've grown and developed so much, our love has developed so much, we just had to do our growing up together, I wonder would it would be like to already be grown up when you get married like this couple? Yet at the same time I think I needed Gordon's strength and love and the trials we've been through to get where I am. And I still feel I'm just a child still always learning, so unaware, still trying to get a handle on things.

I also loved going to their reception because of the long drive, I know that sounds silly, but that is when Gordon and I talk the best is in the car, no kids to distract, just time to talk, we make resolutions, talk about things we need to in our life, and get on the same page. Our wonderful friends the Tenney's watched our kids, I feel I am always in their debt and though they are younger then us, they've already gone far and beyond and we can look to them as examples in so many ways.

I thought of all the girl friends I have and how Gordon's always been supportive of those relationships, smart really. He realizes I always am a happier person and less needy when I make the time for friends. I am so grateful for my marriage, for my husband, the examples of couples around us, and the support I feel and how we are constantly learning and growning through our whole lives.

Society thoughts

2010-02-21T14:39:00.000-08:00

I've had a few thoughts. I was thinking of the problem of our overflowing jails. I was thinking of our healthcare expenses and these are some ideas. I wonder if we had more immediate and a little more sever punishments if there would be less crime, if the temptation wouldn't be as enticing to commit crime if there would more of a consequence.

This relates to health care because I understand a lot of the expense comes from suits, so what if there was a consequence (like having to cover the court and attorney fees for the person/organization they are sueing). What if caps were put on pain and suffering claims? What if every doctor worked with a partner that they could consult with, get a second opinion, and cover when they are gone so they aren't working too many hours? Doctors who did this would get a tax deduction and/or cheaper lawsuit coverage? What if every health appeal, or wrongful doing went through arbitration with a panel of educated doctors on the panel reviewing the case?

What if parents who were able to work through their problems and stay together in marriage and are attentive nurturing parents got tax credits and those who neglect and ignore their children and their education are taxed for it. Maybe recommendations from teachers and doctors allowing tax breaks? Some random brainstorming, ideas, loved to hear what you think.

Sunday reflections

2009-11-29T10:16:00.000-08:00

Today I'm teaching my primary class about the handcart pioneers. Part of that lesson is teaching about the three eighteen year old boys who carried almost the entire Martin Handcart company across the Sweetwater River, all three of them died soon after and how Brigham Young said that act alone would secure them a place in the Celestial Kingdom. I always cry when I hear that story.

In the lesson we memorize: "And, if you keep my commandments and endure to the end you shall have eternal life, which gift is the greatest of all the gifts of God." D& C 14:7 "Be patient in afflictions, for thou shalt have many; but endure them, for, lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days" D&C 24:8 When I read about this I think about how many people I know going through afflictions. I also think of my Grandmother who felt like old age was the hardest affliction she had to go through and how even at the end we have to endure to the end.

I also read these passages and I feel like it is relevent to me, that I have many afflictions I don't even know that will be coming into my life. It causes me some anxiety, the the peace before the storm, not knowing what the storm will bring. Right now is a time I need to be building up my stores of oil, so I'm ready when the hard times come. I am so grateful for my family, for my children, for wonderful friends and for the gospel, the scriptures, for a home, for my husband to have a job, for the opportunity to stay home with my children, for my new little nephew so precious and beautiful. I am filled with gratitude in my heart and appreciation for all the wonderful examples around me.

Response to some questions about myself

2009-09-09T16:26:00.001-07:00

Three names I go by:
1. Mom, Sarah, Velocity (if I play games on the computer that is my name)

*Three jobs you may not know I have had in my life:*
1. Custodian
2. Lunch aide.
3. Word Processing person

*Three Places I have lived:
1. Provo, UT
2. Oklahoma
3. Arizona

*Three shows I watch.
1. Chuck
2. Psych/ Monk/ In Plain Sight
3. Eureka

*Three places I have been:
1. Boston
2. Canada
3. California

*Three people that e-mail me regularly:
1. Gordon
2. Nicole
3. Lynne

*Three of my favorite foods:
1. Oatmeal with vanilla ice cream
2. Bajio's Sweet chili, sweet onion, chicken quesidilla
3. Fresh bread with jam and butter or honey and butter

Three things I'm looking forward to:
1. Being completely organized even for a moment
2. Being a grandmother
3. Being in very good health, every thing working just right

My Barlow Sisters

2009-08-09T18:31:00.000-07:00

My sister-in-law Lynette, is one of those amazing people you can't believe actually exist. She is an absolutely honest, accepting, comfortable person. She is an amazing seamstress http://www.ladydanburrysews.blogspot.com hard worker, supportive of her in-the-limelight husband, can crochet, cook, garden do about anything. She loves to wear dresses and skirts, most of it all made by herself. For Christmas she even make my kids Pajamas which they love. There is so much to learn from her. I'm sure often I seem so old, but she is a person I really admire and can learn from.

Then there is Marla whose husband is in the Navy. They have grown together and endured much together. He has been gone for a total of probably a few years worth of their marriage if you put it all together, even though they've both had health issues, they support one another and have two beautiful children. They have been though challenges I hope I never have to and I admire her for it.

Then there is Rebecca, sweet Rebecca. She was the first one of the family I knew I wanted to be part of my life. She had my husband and I out to their house from the time we first met and were dating and had us out almost every weekend until they moved. She'd make amazing dinners, melting rolls, always a smile and kind words. She had four babies while we lived here 3 in one year, twins and another baby, she is just one of those people who just keeps pushing forward endures through tough times and enjoys her family. Amazing mother, always with thoughtful advise and insights I really appreciate. Another example of service and family loyalty.

I was so excited to meet Mimi, the mother of six boys at the time of our marriage to add four more living children, a mother of ten. If there was a mother who can truly pull that off Mimi is the one, I've never even heard her really yell at her kids, the children love to help her, they have great respect for her, especially when they are older. She is an older sister I never had, I have learned a lot from her and appreciate her example, another person to exemplify.

Janeen, my husband's sister, died about five and a half years ago. I remember her coming up with her children to visit and our landlord wouldn't let them stay at our apartment, so we had to put them in a run-down hotel, but she was still grateful and appreciative. She knew the scriptures like the back of her hand, it was amazing. She dealt with some physical and mental challenges that would be so hard to endure, yet she did endure to the end. I look forward to the time I can met her when her body and mind will be perfected in the glorious time of resurrection.

I am grateful for the sister's I've added through marriage, I admire them and love them. Family is so important and when we look just in our own families we can find amazing treasures.

Someone Was Watching by David Patneaude

2009-08-07T09:41:00.000-07:00

I just finished listening to this book on CD. A young adult book, if it was made into a movie I'd definitely see it. It would be more exciting if I knew this was based off a true story I almost want it to. It is about an eighth grade boy who lost his little sister, she disappeared one day presumed drowned, but.... you'll find out, but just so you know it does end well, if it didn't think I could have read this book if I didn't have the hope it would end well. A fun clean, wonderful adventure. Not an overly complex book with tons of layers, more simple and sweet. I'd give it three to four stars. Would recommend it to anyone, a nice read.

The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wrobleski

2009-08-04T07:20:00.000-07:00

This was an interesting retelling of Hamlet by William Shakespeare. The uncle's name is even Claude (like in Claudius). You don't realize it's Hamlet until the tragic ending, you might have hints earlier, but it is different enough you don't know it is a true parallel until the end and then it all comes together in your mind. I thought parts of it were very well written and engaging. Other parts were written well enough but had too much unrelated detail that didn't apply to the story. You'll especially love this story if you love dogs. My sister Mary might like the references to sign language and communication without voice. It is about a young boy whose voice hasn't worked from a babe, so he and his parents use sign, though he can hear. (Parallels to Hamlet and his feelings of being unable to voice?). There is ghosts, mysteries, confused feelings and observations. I'd give it three or four stars, and feel like I could recommend it. I did skip some of the letters about breeding dogs and parts that had too much detail not directly related to the story, but in a whole good character development, I do like how the author writes from several different perspectives. Over all a good read.

Raven's Gate by Anthony Horowitz

2009-08-03T15:10:00.000-07:00

I just finished this book, wow was it intense. It was probably the darkest book I've read, much darker than Harry Potter, but the same idea of good vs. evil. The real battle against good and evil. It had dark magic in it that was pretty intense and creepy. I was surprised it was a young adult book, but very well written, quite violent and graphic like his Alex Rider's series but covered some interesting subjects. Would I recommend this book? Yes and No. If it was made into a movie I don't know if I could handle it. I will probably continue onto book two, but probably wouldn't recommend it to myself years ago when I was less calloused. I would give it four or five stars, well written put together adventure/action novel.

My Father

2009-06-21T20:27:00.000-07:00

It seems like I’ve had a hard time writing about my father, my personal history that section is lacking. My father holds a special place in my heart. While growing up I was always trying to please him and have his attention, a lot like M does with G.

Anything he was interested in: books, plants, stars, science, Underdog, Popeye, Muppets, Dune, songs he sang anything doing with my dad I loved too. I took every opportunity to spend time with him, even if it meant waking up at 5:30 am and doing irrigation, or 2:00 am to watch shooting stars. I memorized A Poor Way Faring Man of Grief as a teenager, knowing that was my dad’s favorite hymn.

I have wonderful memories of eating licorice together, especially the black kind (that is my dad’s favorite) on camping trips, and feeling disappointed with myself when I couldn’t get myself to eat the raw sardines. Getting baptized was a special event I remember my father talking to me, practicing with me and helping me understand the importance of being a member of the Church and having my sins cleaned. He is a wonderful example of service, he would always take care of his widowed mother-in-law with whatever she needed.

Work is important to both of my parents, my father is always in the yard and garden working, right now the latest project is the cabin. When we were younger the yard and orchard were the big projects, I think the original idea was for us kids to work hard, but my dad did most of the pruning, tilling, planting, we might help with the picking and irrigation at times, but he did most of the work outside.

For a long time I actually didn’t know what my dad did for his profession. He is interested in so many things, I thought he worked with plants, then I asked my mom what he did and she said he was a doctor, but that confused me he didn’t seem like the doctors I had met, he was my dad. If you meet him you’d think he was a scientist, inventor, botanist, plant geneticist, astronomer, politician, or missionary. I still feel like my dad is so smart and knows about everything, and if I had a question about anything he’d probably have an answer.

My dad is a fountain of knowledge. I remember randomly he’d come in my room and share some insight of wisdom like, “the only security in life is God.” Or “sometimes our greatest strengths can be our greatest weaknesses” (I think he was referring to my over active imagination). He is very protective of his wife, children and grandchildren. Very generous, very thoughtful, he and my mom will often hire people who need help always having many projects going on at once. The way they spent money was never indulgent, money was spent on family vacations, helping others, ideas to help their children, very self-sacrificing parents.

My favorite memories are Narnia memories while growing up he probably read the whole Narnia series 5-6 times through, starting when I was in Kindergarten in Oklahoma, also he would quote us poems he had memorized like “the Raven” , stories from The Hobbit and songs from the 3Ds and cowboy songs. I remember the singing, my dad’s strong voice lulling me to sleep or entertaining us in the car with tales of the everglades, of frogs, most songs with a kind of lesson.

There has always been service in the church, every calling taken seriously and fulfilled completely. Father’s blessings, healing blessings, Family Home Evening, Sunday sharing of spiritual thoughts and lessons. Personal Priesthood Interviews (PPI’s) at least once a month especially when I was a teenager. When I was sixteen my dad took me on a date, we went out to eat at Olive Garden and saw a movie at the foreign films, I was in heaven having that one on one special memory time with my dad.

When I was eighteen I got to go on a business trip with him to San Diego where we got to go to Catalina, see the San Diego temple, walk by the beach hang out with some of his friends and go out to eat, it was such a wonderful memory I’ll never forget and so nice to have before I left home.

Family vacations, example, insightful, wise, gardening, studying, continually learning and sharing, generous and wonderful, my father.

Good way to save money

2009-06-15T12:26:00.000-07:00

So I've been recording our expenses and have been appalled at some of our spending esspecially when I talk to some of my siblings and they live off 1/3 or less of what I've been spending on groceries and such. Soooo, I haven't spent hardly anything this month, and my seceret? Don't shop and when I do it has been for exactly what we need like 2 gallons of milk and a carton of eggs and just using what I have around the house. Of course this will backfire when I've depleted every thing we have at home, but it is a good idea for this month since we'll be going on a trip soon and I can leave our fridge empty.

M's new room

2009-06-14T07:01:00.000-07:00

So I'd like to know what you think. I would like to fix up M's new room for her birthday this summer. Right now she has fading wall paper that is half-way torn off on one wall and holes in another wall and permanent maker on another wall, blinds that are bent and don't work well, no closet doors, stained carpet etc... She's old enough not to destroy a new room so I'm thinking...

New white blinds in the window

Take off the wall paper and re-drywall the wall with holes.

Mint green color on the walls with a new white ceiling,

New white door, smooth the trim around the door with sandpaper and repaint as well.

Paint white trim around the closet, doorway and floor boards.

Wood-lamented flooring, with a matching ceiling/light fan

Blue and greened patterned material as curtains for her closet.

Paint her desk white to match

Organize and maybe build some shelves in her closet.

Have blue framed pictures and a blue framed magnet board on the wall.

All this matches with the two bedspreads she has one which is blue/white/green and another which is plain white. I have two natural wood pieces a dresser and book shelf I'll probably leave. I figure I can do all this for not very much money, the most expensive will the the flooring. Anyways, I'd love to get ideas or what you think.

My growing up family memories

2009-06-07T10:21:00.000-07:00

Rubbing backs, telling stories, talking about boys, life, school together
A taking apart the vacuum, baffling me with ninento
J looking in the mirror and wandering the house

Watching Anne of Green Gables tying quilts
Boys making fun of the movie but still watching the whole thing
Rs falling from the stairs stopping my heart

Dad laying on his back playing monster while we run past
Mom reading Cheaper by the Dozen, matching socks during movies
Mom always there in the morning, early making breakfast seeing us off

After school snacks, carrots in our lunches, apples in our lockers
Dad in the yard, the garden, the orchard, reading Narnia to us
Scripture study, sitting on the vents tenting the blanket over to keep warm

Ru and M often sharing a room, bunk bed falling, conspiring together
Yelling for J when I was scared, wrestling, play-fighting a lot
M doing her art, flashcards, sewing, playing with dolls

Ra in her hippo bathing suit, running the home seeing right and wrong
Ru serving, cleaning, making up songs, drawing pictures, cooking
A studying my science with me, taking our family to the Bean museum

Mom peeling oranges, books read to us, everyone singing a different tune on trips
Yellowstone, Canada, Washington D.C., California, back East
Setting up the tent trailer, Dad pointing out plants, hiking, seeing history

Family home evenings laying under the piano, behind the couch cushions
Gun shooting, exotic food, Bean museum, picnics up the canyon
Words of wisdom, prayers, musical performances, poems and lessons

Visiting grandparents every week, serving in the yard, washing windows
Writing, poetry, hair brushing, waterbed, view of the temple at Grandma V’s
Cousins, Little Bunny Foo Foo, stories and laughs at Grandma and Grandpa D’s

Dinner and lounging on the deck, telescoping the stars, working in the yard
Irrigation turn, waking up early helping the water flow to the plants, picking apples
Stirring, setting the table, vacuuming making things look nice, sharing with others

Christmas time looking forward to our Palestinian dinner, lights at Temple square
Singing German at the tabernacle, gathering and sharing with family and friends
Piles set out for us in the living room, Tree lights and ornaments and grandparents

Memories of happiness, safety, warning, gospel lived and taught
Importance of family togetherness, marriage, children, work and education
Gratitude for siblings, parents, family

Organizing

2009-04-03T05:49:00.000-07:00

So I've watched so many Clean Sweep and Clean House episodes and am trying to organize my cluttered home where I lose stuff all the time, I'm starting to dreaming of totes, storage baskets, shelves, labels, files, new hard flooring, open spaces so I can't even sleep with this weighing on me. I really am excited though, because last Saturday I went through all of my clothes storage and took the whole back of my van's worth to D.I. of clothes I don't wear anymore, clothes that are worn, clothes that won't store well.

I am trying to go through my piles of papers again, I couldn't find Jacob's soccer schedule I lose books, everything even with the organizing I have been doing, so I have so much more to do. Simplifying has been key, but we probably have another 3 loads we could take to D.I. I'm going to talk to my hubby about taking some time with me this weekend to look at stuff I feel guilty about deciding without him.

Also, I'm trying to eat more healthy, but I'm also trying to use what we have in the house, which include cream soups, packets, white pasta etc.. I've felt depressed about exercising with the weather turning cold recently. When we had the real Spring-like weather I went on walks every day and often at night to put Emmy to sleep, I am being concious of drinking more water and trying not to stay up quite so late.

I'm working on my millions of projects and ideas, it is one of my great weaknesses to start things but not finish so my great goals to complete something each week, really work on my starter projects. We'll I've announced it to the world, so bye for now so I can follow through on these great ideas.

A Goal

2009-03-10T08:39:00.000-07:00

I decided there are not enough books with a religious theme or moral attached. I'm particularly surprized at the lack of Christmas books with even a mention of Christ even at the religious bookstores. So I announcing to the world (maybe that will help keep me motivated) I'm going to write a Christmas book with some religion in it. The basic idea at this point a mother sitting on the couch with her children and they ask her questions and she tells them stories of Jesus, maybe a song the mother makes up to tell a story or a poem included as well, since poetry comes easier to me. So those are my thoughts at this point. I was strenghtened by reading an article in the Ensign about goals and how it is Satan who discourages us and makes us think we can't accomplish things. I've always wanted to write and I need to keep to those goals and not let Satan discourage me.

Feeling better

2009-03-08T10:52:00.000-07:00

I don't remember the last time we've had a set of illness like we've had the last two months, it is so nice for us to all go to church together today, it seems like it has been a long time. It is so nice to be able to get out of the house and socialize and even though it is freezing we've gone for walks and enjoyed the outdoors and the sun shining in the cold.

Being sick always helps motivate you to keep yourself healthy and appreciate our bodies. My son just read me five books, easy real early reader books but it is so exciting. A whole new world opens with reading and you get to experience another person's life through a book, sparks imagination and learning, he even said he wants to learn piano now and I have to try to hide how excited I am.

My oldest just earned over 100 smiley faces so she got a bike, not a little kid bike anymore and it hit me how she is growing up too fast. She is tall for her age, of course, so I feel this growing up too fast even more. I have a hard time finding little girl clothes for her and she wants to be so independent. She still likes me to sing to her every night and likes to read with me even though she protests at first.

My baby's little feet patter all over the house, running here and there. Wants to take a bath all the time loves playing in the water and is sad she can't go in when we take her siblings to swim lessons. I love taking her for walks and her attention span has grown where I can read her more interesting books. I love doing music with the kids, it was inspiring to hear how some of the best academic schools in the country require music and the fine arts in large quanities to the kids in those schools and help me keep to my commitment to require my kids to take music lessons.

Anyways, its nice to feel better, to feel the sun on our faces, to not turn into permanent hermits and to be able to go to church again.

Tuesday afternoon in March

2009-03-03T11:40:00.000-08:00

Wind blown freshness sweeps the quiet day
Chimes tinkle across the street
A solitary ‘helicopter’ and leaf surrenders its way to earth

Snow tips the mountain tops, stalwart frozen sure
Yet, in the valley movement beneath the imposing stillness
Growth beneath the ground, children running on forgotten grass

Sunshine blue sky with wispy clouds pattern shadows on the mountain
A cry as children fall, band aids, noses wiped, kisses, loves
The yellow bus comes, matching the post-winter colors, my boy off to school

Preparing for writing group, computer keys click and pause
A house gone quiet, a hum of a computer, blinking of the answering machine
Reflection and peace a moment like a prayer on a quiet afternoon in March

Good Books

2009-01-31T13:35:00.000-08:00

This last year I've read several good books. Most of them are Young adult books.
Fablehaven series
Alex Rider series
Ranger's apprentice series (By John Flanagan)
Princess Academy, Goose girl, Enna Burning and more of Shannon Hale's books
I did like the Twilight series, but I felt those were more adult books, but they were captivating and I enjoyed the stories.

I find that I go through passions and episodes of nervous energy that take their form into different interests. So last week I read all three of the Shannon Hale books I have listed and have three on hold at the library. Books right now are a passion, better than my last passion of mastering different games on dotblu. I'm also getting into a crochetting passion that is actually productive, in my dreams I'm imagining a homemade Christmas that will be all prepared for months in advance.

So currently I'm making slippers for M and hopefully my passion for crochetting will continue through the rest of crochetted items for the rest of the family before the end of October which is my goal, this year will be different I'll actually be able to have a wonderful Christmas free of stress and just be able to enjoy my family without any stress because I'll be all prepared (maybe this year it won't just be a dream).

During one of my passion fits I painted a murial on my kitchen door, that after the inital fit it took me months to complete. It is great when I get in my writing fits and I'm able to just have words and stories flow out of me and I can't get enough written down. I'm getting better about taking charge of these episodes starting to recognize them and hopefully I'll be able to direct them towards what I want want to accomplish like writting and hopefully completing a novel, short story or children's book. It seems I get in the mode, then I stop when the energy's gone and I need to just keep myself going so it doesn't take me so long to finish projects.

My children are always my passion. I love sitting down and letting my creative energy correspond with my kids and we'll build legos together, draw, cook together, decorate, something I need to do more of, no regrets with that time together. I love making music together and for them, playing on the piano singing. Sometimes we all sing, just different songs all our own, chaotic but at the same time beautiful. I do notice I'm a better parent when whatever my passion is I let the children in on it too, do artwork at the same time I am, sit where they are playing while I read, make a story up together, have them show me a puppet show.

My husband, what can I say, he is the love and passion of my life, a energy source for me of love. How come he loves me I don't always know, esspecially when I've had some bad days and not the nices person to be around. Yet, he does, he loves me and I love him and it is an unconditional love, a love that also radiates to our kids and is beautiful. I love people, their lifes, how they are doing, their stories, their essence their variety and personalities. We went out with my sister and her husband and they just make me laugh, so funny and I just love to be around them. Our interests, our fits of passion for different things make life interesting, unpredicable, a bit chaoic, but that is what life is about, as long as some balance is infused with the rest.

Things I Like

2009-01-20T12:18:00.000-08:00

My son’s cut-out shapes, colorings of spaceships and giants, his snowflakes he makes
M’s sweet notes, helping with her siblings (especially in the early mornings)
E sleeping through the night and playing so well, her sweet cuddles

I like to cuddle with my husband and read a book together or watch a show
I love a good book, a challenging song on the piano, a challenging game
I love stories, I love people, variety of life experiences and sharing

I like sunny days with blue skies and melting snow
Song birds singing in the afternoon and evening (not in the morning)
I love exploring finding treasures in nature, hiking, the open air

The thrill of catching a fish, successfully completing a hike,
Having shared experiences, discussing different points of view
Feeling comradery and friendship, well being among those I meet and know

I like successfully making a new recipe and others enjoying it too
The smell of fresh baked bread, then eaten with butter and honey or jam
The good feeling of a good exercise and muscles being stretched and loose

I like hard work and seeing a job completed well, finishing a challenging project
Visiting with people, learning new things, discussing thoughts they and I have
Being of service, feeling needed, feeling appreciated and of worth

The warmth of the Holy Ghost after feeling Gods love, feeling forgiveness and purity
Reading the scriptures and a passage read being meant for me in a personal way
Praying in humility and feeling lifted and changed, able to see more clearly

Saying prayers with my family, holding them close to me knowing we love each other
My children’s hugs, their kisses, their smiles their love for me
Going on dates with my husband, going on dates as a family

Listening to music, changing channels discovering what I like for myself
Playing the piano in the evenings with a quite lonely stillness all around
Painting, creative writing rampages, drawing, creating, imagining

My husband’s songs, M’s songs, J’s songs, E’s songs
All unique creative all their own and so much them, I love to hear them sing and create
Bedtime stories reading together, singing songs at night, one-on-one time

Learning new skills that I can feel comfortable with and then try new things
Going to the temple once I’m finally there and feeling the peace
Teaching my children and seeing understanding and confidence in their eyes

Written Jan 20, 2009

Enough whining

2009-01-11T20:10:00.000-08:00

I read my last post and was embarrassed about my whining. I read the sweetest blog by one of my friends about a couple in our ward who are going through some tough times. You know, I live a dream life. I have a wonderful husband who loves me even when I don't understand how he could. I have sweet children who amaze me every day. I have my two year old who is still my baby even though I'd like another one. I have good food, a nice house, a musical, loud imaginative household. My own prince Charming, my own snow white, albert einstein and little cinderella children.

How dream like is my life. I cuddle and watch a show almost every night with my husband while he rubs my back. I'm able to stay home with my children during the day and while the older ones are gone to school and my baby is playing by herself or napping I can write, visit, read a book. I have a nice house at a great interest rate. I have a body that doesn't work perfectly but is strong and usually healthy. Right now I have a cold and have been feeling sorry for myself, but no more whining, I'll feel all better soon and I better do something good with this wonderful life I've been blessed with.

I'm a firm believer in "where much is given, much is required." When I compare myself to others I feel guilty about how well things have gone, though it is so easy to focus on the negative and hard times, I've been so blessed. Therefore, more is required of me because I haven't had as many of the trials of many I know. It is my job to serve, help, volunteer, do my best, be happy, learn more, grow more and build others up around me and be the best mom, the best homemaker, the best person I can be. I have a family who loves me, I was raised well, I have a brain and a body that functions well enough. Let me be an intstrument in the hands of the Lord, that is where fulfillment comes, and I know it.

Where have the dreams gone

2009-01-09T19:52:00.000-08:00

My children watch a show about space, flying to the moon
In the show, flies fly to the moon, why can't I?
Where did all my childhood dreams go to?
Has growing up smashed all my real imagination?
There was something freeing and beautiful about dreams
Dreams where I really felt like I could fly
Dreams where I was a genius that could invent anything
Dreams where hope always existed, and anything was possible
Living in space, raising my family on the moon or on a space station was reality
How do you inspire your children, but live with realities that swallowed your dreams?
How do you live with hope and change your dreams to go along with your course in life?
I love my children, my husband my family, but a part of me wants to take the plunge into my books, my imagination, into fantasy leaving hard work and stress behind me, keep my relationships with those I love but surface in a whole different world new and different

New Years resolutions

2009-01-03T18:09:00.000-08:00

- Write something for every day
- Be a healthier me :exercise, diet
- Be more consistent with my children
- Read my scriptures daily
- Update memory books and photos for the kids
- Collect the personal history I have so far and put in binder
- Organize, organize, organize
- Simplify my life
- To bed earlier, wake up earlier
- Be more spiritual. intune with right and inspiration
- Find a balance in my life
- Do my part to put in order our home and finances
- Get rid of the piles
- Redo the "girls" room
-Better contact with friends/family on a consistent personal basis
- Be more supportive, dependable and self reliant

My Thoughts of Christ

2008-12-09T12:00:00.000-08:00

I think of the Savior, His love, His life.
Mary, cuddling this sweet baby
looking into His clear eyes
Wondering what His life would hold,

Knowing even then that expectations
Seemingly impossible would be placed on Him
What sacred protectiveness she felt
Feeling the Holy Ghost strengthening her

With God, nothing is impossible
I don’t feel inadequate when
I’m allowing the Spirit to touch us
We feel Holy power and strength beyond our own

Jesus choose to come to this earth
He loves us, I am important to Him
He wants me to choose right so I can be with Him
When I allow His love I don’t want wrong

May I allow His love in my heart
His will is my will, because He is the right
He knows what I need what is best
In Him I can trust

Written December 9, 2008

Family in Town

2008-07-17T09:46:00.001-07:00

I have gained so much admiration on top of what I already felt for my sister-in-law. We've had my husbands brother's family here with nine of their ten kids, their oldest is on a mission and their youngest is not yet three. So we have six growing big boys and 2 young girls along with my three growing kids that went through 3 bags of cereal in one morning. Every meal, every outing, every day is an adventure, fun and exciting though too. It has been a fun challenge planning meals and putting them together and working out the legistics of space and all. Yet, somehow we've been fine and things have worked out, I have not yet lost my mind and I'm learning skills and tricks to feeding large groups several times a day. I've watched my K & M hand out chores to their kids and how they communicate and work with all these children. How M gets the kids to do things without even raising her voice. It seems like a big key is consistency and commitment, and lots of love.

When we were walking around the local campus as a big group, I thought it was really neat for these kids, they will always know they belong with their family and they have a group that they will always belong to. One brother had cruches and couldn't make the long walk, his older brother stayed and sat with him and later even gave him a piggy-back ride to meet up with the big 15 passenger van. Of course they have fights and sibling squabbles but their mom would just stop the car or withhold doing things until they could get along again. These parents love each one of their ten children and the children each know they are loved. They read scriptures together they pray together they work together. There are so many things I have learned to do with my children. Of course I'm writing my blog instead of implimenting all of this with my kids because I'm so tired.

It has been exhausting but fun and so much easier on us as the host instead of being the guest. I am so grateful we've had family come visit us this summer. It is so much easier on our pocket-book, on our children's sleep, on our sleep to be able to stay in our own home and have people visit, esspecially since we have still young children which are so hard to travel with. I think a key with family visiting is just loving and helping eachother, respecting one another and communicating. Wow, I'm so tired to think in and out of everyday is like this and even more crazy when not on vacation for K & M is amazing. I am so grateful for parents like them who bring these beautiful children into the world and raise them to be wonderful citizens, wonderful people and wonderful parents themselves one day.

Ups and Downs

2008-07-13T09:32:00.000-07:00

Is it interesting how our energy levels can go up and down and our emotions. I talk to other women and I wonder if it is a woman thing. I'll go through so many emotions, I'll have a wonderful day just playing and being happy with my kids, the next day everything sets me off and I have no energy and feel crazy. So not only those cycles but the cycles women in general have every month, I get headaches and oneryness before those cycles. This one has been particularly bad, even clots so I think it might actually be an early miscarriage. I am sad about it but maybe because I never actually took the pregnancy test and it would have been really early like 4 weeks I can sort of tell myself it isn't happening. Though emotionally and physically I feel drained and sad. It usually takes me 2-3 years to get pregnant so in my mind it just isn't time yet, my babies not even two yet, that's what I tell myself.

My husband's mother just came into town this last week, you should have seen the energy I had I got the house clean top to bottom, and soon we'll have more family tonight or tomorrow, but I'm a bit drained right now so I'll take it slow and do what I can, they have ten kids, I'm sure they'll understand if everything isn't perfect. I do like having guests it gets me to clean my house and gives me energy to do it and organize beyond the daily stuff. I love having family come here, it is so much easier then traveling elsewhere with little ones. It is so nice to see family, I have great in-laws and it was so neat to marry into a family where I could have older sisters, I always wanted older sisters and I got my wish when I married.

My family was all here earlier in June, it was so fun, but short at the same time, it seems like when we got comfortable again with eachother then everyone had to go their separate ways. It's nice there is eternity with family, to know we can be together forever. I dread my children growning up sometimes, I want them to, but I love how close we are now while they are young. Yet I don't know quite how it works, but they will be my family forever if I can try to make good choices and choose the right, what better incentive could I have then to be part of Heavenly Father's family and live with Him again with my husband and children.

What do you think about in the middle of the night?

2008-06-30T07:52:00.000-07:00

When your up with children and crickets, what do you think about? Its funny but I playout frustrating times. It seems like the frustrating times are when there were unpleasant circumstances that I didn't feel like I could properly communicate to help myself out of them. Last night I remembered when I was pregnant, working full-time 8-5 and living in student housing.

Our neighbors through the wall had a baby that would scream from 1 or 2 am until 6 am everynight. Our ciderblock walls reverberated the sound and the child might as well have been in our bed crying in my ear. The only difference is I could go and comfort the baby, rock it, sing to it and feed it and put it back to sleep. I felt it would be rude to the poor parents I didn't know how to bring it up without being presumptious. I don't think the parents once got up with that child. Maybe they were nieve parents who expected babies to sleep through the night right away and let her cry it out, maybe they were deep sleepers and didn't even hear her cry, maybe they had no idea how miserable it was for us, maybe the baby was teething. I'll never know because I never talked to them about it the cloest thing was with sympathy in my voice I asked if their baby was teething, I just wanted to know why, why why???

I wished I had talked to them, maybe offered to come rock the baby or feed her a bottle, or at least know that they were trying to comfort her or had done what they could. I used almost all my sick time at my job to catch up on sleep during those months, on those nights I only got 2-3 hours of sleep calling in and letting my supervisor know I'd be a little late so I could just get a few more hours of sleep so I could function.

Of course I don't know if this is related or not, but the baby I was pregnant with turned out to be colic, and we would spend countless hours up with our daughter as she screamed, bright red, standing stiff as a standing board during the ungodly hours of the night. I'd rock her for 6-8 hours a day, luckily she was my first and I could do that and sleep when she finally slept. I'd often lay on the floor with one hand on her bouncy seat at night so I could bounce it for her when she started up again. My husband and I worked it out that on week days when he had work I'd only wake him up if it was the fifth time up with the baby and on weekends he'd be up everyother time.

I had a sweet lady who lived in the apartment above me who was like a second mom, Sister Preito from Brazil. She would give me lunch and give me tips and help hold my baby and show me little tricks of the trade everyday. Always build me up and tell me I was a wonderful mother helping me so much when I was feeling discouraged and down. She will always have a place in heaven in my book, an angel. Of course I had wonderful family too and my sweet husband, maybe I won't judge after all that poor couple through the cinderblock walls in our student apartments.

Another GIrls night

2008-06-05T05:31:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a bit of spontaneous night out with my neighbor. We went to her sisters and help move furniture and redecorate her house and shelves in preparation for selling the home. My husband thought it was a weird night out, but it was fun to drive in the car and talk, redecorate someone elses house and be creative. Also it's nice to do a project finish it and leave and not see it all messed up, like with housework at home.

It's been a little crazy at home and I've felt like I've been so busy and working hard, but it doesn't always show. Like I've been organizing and sorting through papers and finances, actually saw the bottom of the laundry floor (actually got through my whole mountain of laundry) and deep cleaned the whole room. I've been waking up early and going to bed late with the help of the birds, allergies and children. So it was so nice to get away and do something different and new. We did pick up some ice cream sandwiches and juice as a treat.

So today the focus is making the rest of the house look clean and organized now that I have some underlying things done like laundry and filiing. I have to get the kids to help me pick up and clean the guest room downstairs. Sometimes the kids use it as their crazy room, I let them jump on that bed and it is where the dress -up is stored and all our extra bedding so you can imagine sometimes I'll wander into that remote part of the house and have to stiffle a scream. I have family coming in and it is amazing how fast you can get things done when you have a deadline when someone is coming over. Anyways, it was nice to have a get away doing something new.

Not so good idea

2008-05-23T16:08:00.000-07:00

So, I tried the one month shopping thing, not such a good idea. Its the end of the month and I ended up going over budget because we had run out of groceries two weeks early. Yes, I still have stuff from the big shopping, but I think the key really is meal planning. Which is easier to do on a weekly basis, still buy that bulk stuff but spread it out over the month into the weekly shopping. Good news is I still have a months worth of diapers and wipes I won't have to buy next month and it will probably even itself out over two months, but I find it easier to stay on budget and have what I need with the weekly shopping, much better idea.

Also, even though my husband has been willing, I've been lax about taking my night off, infact I haven't taken a decent night off for a month at least. Yes, my husband broke his pinky and had a cast, then I had to do emergency bill paying, then a tax night, then just get caught up on the house night. So I'm arranging with my mom and sisters to have a girl night, and then take off for a library, shopping, exercise night. Just plan ahead and be prepared for a night off, I really do need them and they truly contribute to my sanity and happiness. I am also looking into taking an art class or a math class (so I can finish a promise I made to a professer long ago, whole different story). I was able to have a book group for an hour last week and I have a wonderful neighbor who helps out so much. In fact she just came over so she could get out of the house and we just visited while I did housework, and she pitched in too, it was so fun, now that is a good idea.

To women

2008-05-12T07:26:00.000-07:00

I'd like to pay tribute to so many wonderful women in my life, mothers and not-yet mother's. My little sister who my kids love, my mom's mission companion who has remembered all of my babies and brought sugar cookies, ornaments, wonderful things for us every Christmas. For my Aunt stuck between a bunch of brothers who is creative and thoughtful and helping with crafts and ideas all the time. Of my kids nursury leader who even helped me out watching my kids in a pinch the day after Christmas. To my writing group all of them friends and women I have only gotten to feel like sisters with. To my book group and including me in all of their smarts. Of a wonderful nurse in my neighborhood who travels, is full of wisdom and is an amazing teacher. To my sisters who now treat me like the little sister, they really do seemed to have more wisdom then me sometimes, to my sister-in-laws putting up with my brothers. Of many older women who are my friends, age no longer matters except in the fact they have lived life so much longer than me and I can just bask in their knowledge and wisdom. To my friends who I could talk hours to who I could call upon anytime if I needed help. My namesake mother, my mother-in-law who shares the same name and raised a son they can do laundry, cook, clean, work hard and provide and be so sweet with me and our children. My grandmothers who are now both past who I loved so much. My very own sweet mother who I will feel sucessful if I can be half as sacrificing, amazing and wonderful as she was to me as a mother and who now is a friend to me too.

Shopping adventures

2008-05-01T12:25:00.000-07:00

I just spent a bunch of money at Costco. I'm trying something new, monthly grocery shopping and I just had to keep telling myself, it is for the whole month. When I got home I divided fruit snacks, granola bars into smaller weekly bags so we don't go through them in one week and put extra cheese, meats, bread, butter, tortillas into the freezer. I had never spent so much on groceries in one go it was a little scary.

I then actually had to go clothes shopping for my seven-year-old who is already in size 10 and just shooting up like a weed. She has now grown taller then everyone we used to get hand-me-downs from. I realized her tennis shoes were two sizes too small and she had hardly any short-sleeve shirts or sweat pants for the sports I have her in. At her dance class she was the only one actually in a leotard, I guess shorts and tee-shirts are the dance attire for her age. I want her to feel beautiful and that she fits in. I fortunatly was able to find some very decently priced clothes and 50% off clothes for her at Target. I actually paid full price for the shoes. Even with all that I'm not used to clothes and shoe shopping much so it seemed like a lot. Then I about had a heart-attack when I got home and I couldn't find the bags I thought I had left them in the cart. Fortunately they were in the back with the groceries.

I'm back incharge of finances, so my husband can help out with other things. I hope I can live up to the trust he has in me and I can keep us on budget and on track. Its stressful, but stimulating too, to have a non-parenting responsiblity that uses another part of my brain. Just like taxes, I'm the one who does it every year and my husband says I make 500$ an hour, because of the tax return I figure at the end. (I thought that was cute).

Lasting days

2008-04-09T17:01:00.000-07:00

Memorable days time passing like a needle through the day
My daughter in a play, wearing my old high school formal
My husband so vulnerable under anesthetic, surgery on a pinkie finger
My son endeared to me, struggling to know how to deal with boiling emotions
My baby clinging to me trying to find security loving her walks

I wonder how to make my home peaceful, how to deal with the teasing siblings
How to manage time so the important things are taught and sought after
How to care for the health and well-being of the family
Crying over others sadness and struggles feeling so blessed and grateful for what we have
The sunshine comes often at the end of the clouded days, giving life

Worry to Joy

2008-04-03T08:24:00.000-07:00

It is amazing how we often cause our own trials and stress. My husband fractured his finger and was running late to work because he was at the doctors. I get a call saying there is a big company meeting he has to be to at 11:30. So in panic I try to get a hold of him at the doctors and get transfered 5 times and then put on hold. Very streesed I tell him he has to leave now and go right away.

Eight years ago my husband was layed off along with 2/3 of the .com company, and all of that stress and worry came rushing back to me. Later I let the answering machine get the phone and it is my husband telling me urgently to pick up. With a pit in my stomach I answer the phone and it turns out he was recognized for his excellent work at the meeting, taken out to lunch and was calling me to ask how to spend the $100 he was told to spend at the mall in appreciation of what he's been doing.

The one good thing about worry, is when everything turns out wonderful, you are that much more grateful and feel that much more blessed. Also that day I was able to be given some wonderful training by a State-funded Speech therapist on how to help my baby start to talk, since she is delayed in that one area. Then to top everything off this morning, I weighted myself and I had lost 5 pounds since Monday. Yea!!!

No go, night out

2008-04-02T09:06:00.000-07:00

The last two Tuesdays, I had time to clean the house and prepare to go out. Yesterday my baby wasn't feeling well, I ended up having to hold her and cuddle her all day, I felt like I didn't get anything done. I realized I couldn't find the checkbook in all my piles and I needed to have an emergency organizing, paying bills, catch-up session. That is reality.

I told my husband I still need time away from home, maybe Thursday this week, even just to run errands for an hour or two by myself. I'm still catching up, you know those weeks where you seem to be going in slow-motion everything is taking twice as long to do. It does help if I can listen to my books. My current kitchen book is an Alex Rider book basically about a 14- year old James Bond spy kid (other then a bit cleaner, no James Bond women).

My baby is doing better today, she has a little friend over and they are just wandering through the house together, paraell playing, its pretty cute and it is nice to have someone else with her for attention.

Last week I got all my kids clogs or sandals from Target, it felt so to know this Summer I won't be having frantic sock searches in the morning, I can just say, "put on your sandals." We had a small second winter, but today it looks like the sun is out and Spring decided to come back. I felt a little bad, my daughter had to go in snow to the farm for their Spring field trip.

Messes

2008-03-24T10:07:00.000-07:00

I curse sugar and candy and the chocolate drool. I gave all the rest of the candy away to a neighbor today and it felt wonderful. My daughter stayed home sick today from school. I can't help but notice a pattern of my kids having sugar and getting sick. My carpet had to be cleaned anyways, but after candy messes and chocolate there is no question.

Teeth have to be brushed three times a day for the whole week and fluoride is a must after just one day of candy. I only got four hours of sleep last night (up with kids, then insomnia) so I tried to sleep a little this morning and woke up to the messes mess everywhere. My baby can't help but find candy when her siblings have it strewn all over and she sucks on it then spits it out drooling all over the place.

There was jam spilled on the counter, the pork and beans from the crock pot to be put into containers and refrigerated. When I went to wash the big pots and pans I found I was out of dish soap. Toys, wrappers, eggs, its so tempting to hide out in my room. I'm teaching the kids to help out, but sometimes it is more work, even though I know it will pay off in the end. I'm definitely looking forward to my night out tomorrow.

My family's house

2008-03-22T09:48:00.000-07:00

The home I lived in for 10 years and my parents still lived in for another 10 years is for sale. I cried the other day when I passed it. It needs to be a home used and loved and filled with family. Why does it bother me so much I ask myself? Then I realize I have so many, many memories, and it was a home hand built and put together by my parents. I remember while we lived in the rental house for a year the architect coming all the time changing this or that adding a greenhouse, putting the laundry room upstairs, raising the ceilings.

I remember the summer before we moved in going over with my parents and doing our part to help in the building, even if it was sweeping up the sawdust or helping to hammer in a nail. Going over to check on the house every week and seeing the new changes and development and my mom being so concerned because the railing wasn’t up yet in the living room or on the stairs. Of course that is also the time my little sister was running through the open walls and a nail completely cut her knee and she had to have stitches and has a battle scar from the experience.

I remember moving in soon as the upstairs was done, and it did have everything; a family room, living room, laundry three bedrooms, kitchen and two bathrooms. I shared a queen size bed with my three sisters. It was o.k., but it wore on me I went to my parents in tears, I wasn’t sleeping and I hated being kicked during the night and I felt too mature for my silly little sisters. I proposed that I sleep in the basement. Anything had to be better then sharing a bed. There were spiders, open unfinished walls, cement floors and big black windows. My mom helped me put a blanket over the window and I had a twin size bed, a little dresser and put a blanket on the floor and I lived like that for six months.

I would go out in the yard with my dad and take a turn swirling the seeds around for a clover yard, apparently that would help the lawn be thick and prepare the ground for the lawn. I think we had a clover yard for a year or two before he put down grass seed. My dad loved plants and boy did he plant; There was the large tree in the front, the bushes, ground cover, the orchids, the peach tree, walnut trees, the grapevines that completely cover the chain link fence in front, the aspen grove and the pussywillow tree, the rubarb plants, the blackberry and raspberry bushes, the two hills with a variety of plants and flowers. The 150 apple trees behind the house and the vegetable garden he planted on the side of the house and the plants he put between the apple trees when they were still young.

I remember hearing my parents discuss the playset and surprising us with it. A strong sturdy metal set we would play on for hours. We would be pirates avoiding the sharks in the grassy waters, we’d talk, swing, slide. Even as a teenager and coming home for a break from collage I would swing while the sun was setting on one side, the mountains and trees on the other. We would play volleyball with other teenagers as we grew up in the yard in front. In the back there was a little hill and a slight dip that I hated mowing, but was so fun to run down that hill or have a little hill to sled on. When it rained a lot or when the snow melted we’d have almost a little pond to splash or float things on.

My mom put up curtains and blinds, pictures, carpet for each room. We had a large bulletin board and white board where our art work would be displayed, family councils recorded, job assignments put. Then of course there was the deck that was added on to the back and a shed built underneath it. I was paid $50.00 one year for girls camp to stain the whole deck. We had so many Sunday dinners there. I would curl up in my warm flannel blanket and sit on the lawn chair during the thunderstorms, smelling the musk and watching the storm clouds and admire my wonderful mountains.

There was the green house, I remember helping my dad to lay bricks on the earth for flooring, there were hand built shelves for the weird and exotic plants, ferns and flowers my dad had, even a full lemon tree was planted, avacado plants too. There was a fan and it was always warm even in the winter. I often would go mist all the plants as one of my favorite chores. It also shared as a weight room when my brother got into highschool basketball.

Our cherry small grand piano sat in the livingroom next to the bay window that viewed Timpanogas mountain. There I cheated my mom of her kitchen help by luring myself away with songs on the piano, how could my mother deny the music I wished to practice? How many concerts for grandparents and guests did my siblings and I perform there in that room? I helped put up the wall paper for one of my rooms, I’d change from sharing a room to having my own room off and on. There was the large storage room with shelves installed just for food storage.

Of course there was the garage, hardly ever used for a garage no matter how many times our mom had family cleaning there, if it wasn’t crowded with stuff, it was crowded with apples to store, sale, or give away. So many wonderful memories and so many associations. Yet, where my parents are is where their family home is. It was a split level home and a whole flight of stairs to get to the kitchen, even to get to the front door there were several porch steps (that I hated cleaning off in the winter). It got harder and harder on my grandparents and then on my mother to go up those stairs. It made perfect sense when they sold it and moved into my grandmothers house, also a home my mother help build and made with love and purpose. I hope a family will buy it and love and appreciate it enjoying similar memories to mine. I have my memories, and maybe I’ll go by and put a few pictures to go with these words.

My night off

2008-03-19T13:19:00.000-07:00

My husband and I decided to try something new, once a week, every Tuesday I will have a night off to do whatever I want. I did it for the first time yesterday and it was so freeing and so wonderful. I almost didn't know what to do with myself. I was so excited and energized about it, I cleaned the whole house even the kid's rooms, laundry, paid bills and made homemade pizza for dinner (even gave myself time to blog).

First, I stopped by a friends and we made arrangements for me to take her to Costco next Tuesday. I went to the library and browsed and actually took the time to research on the computer books of authors I like and I was able to find two more books on tape that I am so excited to listen to. I picked out age appropriate books for the kids (books I would enjoy reading with them too).

It took less time then I thought so I starting driving to ShopKo for some Easter toys for the kids then saw a store I'd never been to, but heard about (Honk's). I stopped inside and got all my shopping done, just wandering through the store, everything was inexpensive so I didn't mind picking up a pair of needed sunglasses for myself or a scented candle, a flashlight whatever I wanted.

I got back to the car and it was still only 8:00, I didn't want to go home before the kids were in bed so I just started driving, thinking of a treat I could get for myself to end the night and saw Jumba Juice. A delicious, guilt-free treat. Wonderful, so I got out of the car, read every item on the menu debated back and forth in my mind for as long as I wanted and decided on a berry delight and an orange,mango,banana juice. I came home, enjoyed half of a Harry Potter movie with my husband then went to bed at a decent hour. What a wonderful thing to have discovered, so wonderful psychologically for me. A perfect evening.

Sidewalk chalk poem

2008-03-18T11:30:00.000-07:00

I was outside decorating our drive way with the kids and wrote this:

The blue sky above
swallows the earth

Misty clouds sweep shadows of
lumbering giants on the mountains

Refreshing smells of spring blow
chilly air through my frame

New perspective

2008-03-17T07:48:00.001-07:00

I'm getting out of my rut, I'm feeling such better, just one of those temporary set backs you experience sometimes. I'm putting some new perspectives in my life, focusing on one thing at a time, sometimes when I look at all the areas in my life I feel like I'm failing, then I get discouraged but if I can focus on just one of those things that I would like to improve and work on that it does help me feel better that I am progressing in that thing and then work on these failings one thing at a time.

I appreciate my Aunt Liz's putting together a biggest loser contest, one of my big goals I need to put in priority now is working on my health, so it would be a good challenge and only help me with positive changes I am already working on, though I don't know about any marathons in my future, I've never been able to run, but I can certainly exercise and eat right.

I also feel really positive as a mother if I am taking the time one on one with my children to let them know how much I love them and teach them about Jesus Christ. One of my writing challenges is to write some prose or a story about the true meaning of Easter and Christmas and submit it somewhere. I like to buy books for my children at holidays and I am saddened by the lack of books about Christ at Christmas time and Easter. Even if they would take a hymn or children's song and put illustrations to it I would buy that book. There is often so much distraction from the true meanings of these holidays I like to, as their parent focus on Jesus Christ.

Thank you for your comments during this rut time, it is nice to feel support and love.

One of those ruts

2008-03-06T20:49:00.004-08:00

I haven't been writing for a while, been in one of those wonderful depressing ruts where you just sort of live your life from the outside looking in like you aren't the person you see in the mirror or goes about doing all the tasks and routines you do each day. Where motivation, meaning and purpose in life have just taken a vacation and your left floundering drowning in the mess if your disorganization, grumbling unfinished thoughts, feeling like you've blotched every role, responsiblity, opportunity, talent you might have had in life. Your doing your best but you don't know why you try anymore or why you are so busy doing what you do.

I'm learning I need to be more independant emotionally. I so dependant on others: my husband, my writing group, friends to validate, encourage me to help me feel special and I am of worth. So when my husband is working extreem hours, I'm home with sick children and I feel so alone I have to face myself and then I don't know if I am who I want to be and I'm not sure if I know what that is. Its competely confusing to me to try and figure out myself I don't know how anyone could even begin to try and figure out another person.

Of course I don't feel this way all the time, I go through valley's and hills and lately I've been stuck in a rut and realizing I need to somehow get out. Of course because I am home and my world is so limited at times I think I get weird and so when I try to talk to friends or others I talk too much or say odd things and push people away or anyways I just found I need to talk to have some social conversations before I become completely odd and turn into a complete hermit. Its just one of those ruts we all eventually get out of. I already feel better just writing and trying to write out what I have felt at times.

The teased

2008-02-27T14:58:00.000-08:00

I was a sensitive child, the ideal sport for bullies. I would cry when I was teased, I was emotional, easily affected, and often would throw myself pity parties. My mother told me when boys teased me that they really liked me, of course I repeated this to one of these boys and he held me up against the wall and threatened me if I ever repeated those words. One of the boys that would tease me was one of my friends (at least when no other boys his age were around). I had a hard time understanding that, but eventually we had a talk and I caught on it was an act he had to play. I was told not to react so much and teasing wouldn’t happen as often. It is true, I experimented for a week hiding my affected soul and by the end I was no longer so fun to tease.

I was an oldest child always seeking acceptance and recognition from adults. I was certain no other child had to do all the chores and live up to the expectations that were placed upon me. My father would call me "Poor Cinderella" when I complained and I felt even sorrier for myself, I certainly was Cinderella having to clean up after everyone and do more then any one else. When I would complain of ailments my father would say "you were a nice girl while you lasted" and of course I was the most unloved, ignored little girl who might die and my parents wouldn’t care. It seem even now at times my imagination will make some adventure or sad story out of my life.

Then what do you know, I end up marrying a tease. Not a mean teaser mind you, but a tease all the same. My husband loves to prey on my guilt complex, my naivety, my pity parties and imagination, of course he will smile and let me know he is teasing and gives me a sweet hug. I took about 6 classes in highschool where I was the only girl I’m certain I must have liked the attention and the friendly teasing from those boys. Even some of the mean teases in elementary, some of the meanest boys I knew ended up going on missions, being great missionaries and supposedly great people (to my astonishment).

Never Go

2008-02-13T18:13:00.000-08:00

Never go to the dentist with your children, never need to because they have perfectly wonderfully healthy teeth. I just came back from the dentist with my daughter crying the whole way back in the car, it is just not worth it for them to have cavities. It is better to never let them have any sugar and sit on them (if you have to) to have them floss and brush their teeth. What a horrible experience to see my children in pain.

I think of parents who have had to see a lot worse with their kids. As my thoughts are running I think of parents who have had children with cancer, disabilities, illnesses. My husband's mother has lost four children, two soon after birth, one of childhood lukemia, one recently from brain tumors, the pain not only for the children but for the mother, the ones to watch. I think of Mary the mother of Jesus Christ, watching her son be crucified on the cross.

I think of the love we feel for others at this valentines, how I would wish I could express how much I appreciate others. I love my husband so much. Sometimes it seems we draw closer even when things seem stressful. I appreciate my mother watching my younger children while I was at the dentist today, I appreciate my younger sister watching my children so we can go on a date for valentines. I think of wonderful neighbor's and friends, family that we love so much. Happy Valentines and know my heart is with you.

Sadness and Sorrow

2008-02-04T08:29:00.000-08:00

I just found out a girl I was friends with has left her husband and children they are suddenly divorced, I had no idea. I feel such sorrow for her, for her husband, for her dear children. When a family unit is hit with such a blow it is worse then a death, I feel more sorrow at this news then at a funeral for a friend. I don't know all the details. I don't know if I want to know, I'm just sad and sorry for all involved. It breaks my heart.

It is hard being married, I don't know how many people would find marriage so appealing if they knew how hard it was, but yet I wouldn't leave it or wish I had never married. Having children is tough, I fasted and prayed yesterday for strength and knowledge how I can best help my children with their challenges and my weaknesses. I wonder if these stresses became too much for my friend, or if she struggled with challenges or temptations I wouldn't understand. There are times when I just want to be done for the day or take a little break from it all for a few days, how much might my friend be experiencing to do what she did.

I just wanted to write somehow express my sorrow, there is no funeral, no final closure for the passing of once happy and whole family unit. I can hope that my friends husband and her children will find wholeness as they are and let friends, neighbors and family help them find wholeness in the new definition of their family unit. I hope I can help, her baby is close to my baby's age.

Lost in my own little world

2008-02-01T09:57:00.000-08:00

Lost in my own little world As the snow piles and piles and my life is so crazy and busy with my children, it is easy to isolate myself. To get lost at home and cut off contact with everyone else without meaning to. I've been to the dentist three times this week with appointments and dental work for my kids, my life is consumed with my family and basic maintenince of my home it seems. Little baby Em is sick with a cold right now and it is so fridgid outside it is perfered to do as much indoors as possible.

I have found the key to housework for me is to combine it with one of my favorite passions, reading, by listening to books on tape or CD. Which, might in someways keep me more isolated because I get myself lost in the books, but at least my time is being used better. Sometimes I keep different books on different floors. Right now I have Harry Potter The Half-blood Prince on upstairs while I fold laundry and organize my room. I have Roll of Thunder Hear my Cry on in the kitchen and I'm planning on listening to Artimus Fowl downstairs while I exercise and clean the family room. It is amazing how much I look forward to cleaning and cooking in the kitchen or organizing my room how it comes automatically while I'm engrossed in some adventure.

I've negelcted this blog, emailing and calling family and friends and I've turned into a little home-body. I find I go through solitary stages like this and then I feel guilty about not keeping in contact and I'm desparate for friends and society, swinging on a pendulum of sorts. My husband's been working late a lot and getting ready for a new job change, times like this I get even more attached to my home and children. I have enjoyed teaching my son how to write his name, playing legos with him, cuddling and reading books, and enjoying the sweet pictures he draws for me as gifts. Even my school daughter I have come right home so I can feel like I had my time with her and I enjoy rocking and playing with my baby girl. Maybe, I won't feel guilty about this time where I just need to focus at home, that is what winter days are for anyways.

2008-01-21T11:51:00.001-08:00

The Courtship
Listen my children and you shall hear
Of the courtship of your mother dear
She went to school at BYU
Where she learned, played did schoolwork too
Her cousin Sam was at Kimball Hall
Gordon, his roommate was your dad
He really wasn’t all so bad
How was she to know she was going to love fall
Tall, skinny, a big old tease
She gave him rides to grocery stores
Marriott Center tunnel singing
Sledding, movies, swing dancing always
Giving her piggy-back rides, kisses too
Holding hands, eating together,
Sharing themselves, talking of children
Talking of love, caring, working
Charming her with his words and songs
Impressing her with his art and talents
Sharing same goals, same love of God
So different, yet connected all the same
She met his parents, he met hers
To the SLC temple she would go
Ordinances towards salvation
Endowments from on High
Stress of school, preparations, so much rush
California after finals, a licence to obtain
Meeting down in San Diego, a beautiful Temple
No sleep too excited then anxiousness
The licence left back at Gordon’s home
Aquarium, Teawana, shopping while we wait
Luncheon first, still so much stress
Prayer, then peace, we are all there
The temple so beautiful so special
Surrounded by family, pictures and fun
Holding hands, no stress, no tension just peace
LaJolla for our honeymoon at Uncle Joe’s Condo
Their courtship continuing, their love growing
Their family growing, changing too
Forever in the eternities they’ll go forward
Towards God, each other and family

New year goals

2008-01-19T11:16:00.000-08:00

Well, I have several New Years resolutions:
-I will exercise at least 4 times a week, eat lower calories and no cholesterol, feel healthy
(hopefully it won't take all year for the mirror to show the change as well)
-I will be prepared for Christmas this year, have a budget, cards done by Thanksgiving, presents made or bought before December, have a prepared, planned, peaceful holiday for once
(If this happens this will be miraculous, but maybe if I start now it will happen)
- I will write a short story, poem once a week
(It helps to have a writing group I meet with once a week)
- I will write a short novel, a children's book this year
(If I can get past my first block I experience after I always start this might happen)
- I will help my children to feel successful, happy and secure
(This might be the hardest one yet, a lot of help with homework, practice, consistency etc.)
- I will support my husband in his work and talents
(I gave him guitar lessons for Christmas so it is a start, he is so talented in many ways)
- I will read (or listen to) at least 2 books a month
(This is my luxury goal, for my own enjoyment I love to read)
- I will be a better friend, a better listener, a person who truly hears and sees
(To have friends you must be a friend, when I am more this way the happier I am and closer I feel to others)
- I will enjoy the beauties all around me
(I live so close to my beautiful mountains and there is so much beauty all around me I need to take more advantage of it and share this beauty with my family)
- I will enjoy my work and my life, I will put my priorities in my time and focus
(Isn't better time management what helps us feel happy and successful)
-I will get twice as organized this year
(each year out of necessity I become a more organized person, it is just more needed as our family grows and homework and a home)
I'd love to hear what some of your new years resolutions are

Wonderful things in my life

2008-01-15T12:24:00.000-08:00

I've been in such a good mood lately and feeling productive and good about things lately and I was trying to think about what's been different this last week. One thing, I've been trying to read in the morning my scriptures or teachings of Joseph Smith and that has really help put my day in perspective and I find myself using my time better. I've also been listening to a book on tape while every time I am in the kitchen and I look forward to cleaning and cooking and doing stuff around the kitchen, I even deep cleaned my stove top just listening to the book.

Spending more quality time and focus on my children individually has helped me appreciate and feel closer to my children and I know in my heart I'm a good mom when I am taking that time with them. Also, after the holidays and illness it has been nice to start being more social and connecting with people again. Also we've found some more speech help for my son where we go together and sing songs and learn fun ways of working on his articulation.

I'm being more relaxed about some things in my parenting and more consistent with things that will matter in the long run. I'm trying to write more and let go of things in my life that don't build me up or help me feel positive and happy. Anyways, maybe some of these ideas will help you when the winter weather is upon us to help you feel positive too.

Putting back the sunshine

2008-01-13T09:39:00.000-08:00

The sun shone yesterday, it seems when the sun shines it goes right into my heart and I have to have a happy day. I heard an amazing talk yesterday that really touched me. How our hearts can be mirrors where we are focusing on ourselves, our agendas, our problems, what we want. Yet, our hearts can be windows looking out truly seeing others and ourselves people of worth, but also allowing the sunshine of our Lord’s love to come into our hearts. I thought this was a wonderful way to think about things, to see others and to see ourselves.

If you ask my children: Are you beautiful? Are you smart? Are you special? Do I love you? Their response will be "yes", just plain "yes I am" they allow themselves to know they are of worth and they don’t question those wonderful things you tell them about themselves. How wonderful is that, why is it as adults we don’t allow ourselves to think well of ourselves. I’m not talking about conceit or pride or arrogance. Maybe we are afraid of becoming those things or being perceived that way, or maybe we have allow the negative to affect us, maybe we just can’t accept that we are of worth and we are special.

I have been focusing on giving each of my children significant one-on-one positive time, extra positive words, yet being consistent. It is amazing how this extreme praise and quality have helped my relationship with my son, by the end of this week he has already become so much less defiant and more willing to listen. I’ve always tried to give them positive and time, but I’m realizing at times in their life we they seem to be negative that is when I need to as a parent really lay on the positive and give them extra attention, and it is working. (Of course we will see how church goes today, but I am hopeful and it doesn’t matter, he is a wonderful child I feel more positive with myself when I am positive with others.)

Understanding in disguise

2008-01-08T16:07:00.000-08:00

Lately my son has been having a hard time. He’s been more defiant, ignoring us, hurting his sisters, yelling, refusing to sit or be quiet in situations where it is needed. He does seem to do much better if we completely smother him with praise for anything he does do to be helpful or kind, if we give him a lot of one on one and lots of active attention. It is hard when he seems to do much better with his preschool teacher or others then he does with us, his parents.

Last night though, I realized something wonderful and special. I love him just as much when he is giving us a hard time as when he is cuddling and sweet and obedient. It is a nicer time with him, but I love him just as much either way. Parenting opened my eyes to how much more and even more perfect my Heavenly Father’s love is for me even when I’m hard to be with and being difficult. It gives me courage to continue to work with him, to have patience and try many ideas that I and others have thought of that might help.

I do think the extra praise and attention will be a key factor, along with the being consistent and following through. Right now he is playing at being a little doggie with his sisters and being so sweet, it is always easier at home, where I can control the environment more. It’s harder when you are at Church, a friends, or at a store and my husband and I will just have to work together to help him know how to be polite, appropriate and be the little boy I know his is and can be.

Sometimes its the storm before the calm

2008-01-02T14:55:00.000-08:00

I completely was unaware that school started today. My neighbor came over and knocked hard on the door and let me know my phones weren't working (the children had taken the phone off the hook) and my husband wanted to let me know school had started (now why didn't he turn the car around and told me?). I felt so embarrassed, school had already been in session for a half-hour and my daughter was dressed in a strange combination of skirts and shorts, black rock boots and a dirty shirt.

Quickly this slow morning turned into frantic chaos: changing clothes, combing hair, thinking if she had enough lunch money left, adding up reading minutes, finding a coat and backpack, then running with her out the door so I could make sure she crossed the street safely. I sighed with relief when I walked back in the door, I called my mom to tell her of the adventure and she asked if my son had school today too (luckily it's afternoon preschool), and yes he did too though not quite so frantic.

It was quieter even to have only two children home, I had my brother and his little girl over to make a gingerbread house while my baby took a nap. I'm realizing I have to get to know him again, he is actually an adult not my little brother anymore and finishing up the first four years of med school. It is interesting sometimes it takes a little time to reconnect with family when you have been living away from each other and when you feel more connected then it seems like they have to go home.

My son got off on the bus by 12:35 and I had almost three hours with just the baby. I was able to run errands to Costco, pharmacy and the library including taking the time to select carefully books, computer games and videos that were just right for the kids instead of just putting in the basket everything they wanted and finding half of the materials were too advanced for the children, it was so wonderful and my baby loves the time driving about, getting in and out, and seeing new things when she is with me.

When I got home I had at least a half hour before the rush of the coming home and I knew I had so many phone calls to make lists to do and a house to clean, but for a moment I was just stunned, not knowing where to begin when I actually had some time on my hands, even the baby was asleep, it was such a peaceful calm. The calm after the storm.

green goopy winter

2007-12-29T14:47:00.000-08:00

I have a green goopy cold that started Christmas as a sore throat and turned runny, then green and I'm blowing my nose on anything I can get my hands on, napkins, paper towels, toilet paper and I petitioned my husband to please, please pick me up some nice soft tissue on his way home from work. Then my poor little baby has it and just this morning my son has it.

I dragged myself out of my pajamas to take me daughter to her friends and slink into the store unnoticed to buy some strong sinus, cold medicine. As I drove I tried to remember when I last saw a sunny day, other then the sunshine I see in my children's faces when they are happy. Then I thought what a blessing is my husband (unbreakable type) and even my oldest daughter (who I only nursed 2 months) doesn't seem to get sick easily.

My baby is showing signs of being nurturning, she is starting to carry baby dolls around and is competely facinated with her baby cousins (trying to give them her bottles and food), she likes to be held along with the babies and poke their cheeks and tummys. When her older brother feel asleep on the couch, she got this sweet look on her face and helped me pull the blankets up around him and gently touched his hair.

Of course being cooped up at Christmas time isn't easy. Twice my kids have convinced themselves that we were going swimming of all things, even got all dressed up in their swim suits. Only my children could look outside at the piling snow and the below freezing temperatures and think this is just the weather to go swimming in, they are little fishes. Luckily family have been in town and we've had some game nights where the kids can see their cousins and aunts and uncles, grandma and grandpa and old grandpa (what they call their great-grandpa).

Christmas was nice we only saw my parents and siblings for 2 hours. Most the the day was just our own little family playing together, me taking a nap and just relaxing and driving around to look at all the lights. Tonight family is getting together again, but I think we'll just stay home, borrow "Amazing Grace" from my parent's DVD library and get better. When it is cold outside it is nice to just cuddle up in a warm blanket with my husband and watch a movie, put on a flannel shirt, eat a warm dinner, play a game with the kids and stay home finding sunshine in being happy in our house.

Ahhhhhhhh !!!!

2007-12-19T19:56:00.000-08:00

Right now I sort of hate love my husband. I love him so much, but that love is frustrating sometimes when I think I will make a large (king size) denim quilt for him and it is so huge and I’m not a seamstress and the machine isn’t working and I’m just going crazy and at that moment I hate whatever made me start this project in the first place.

When it comes to mechanics I am a mess, I still can’t figure out how to turn my son’s transformer toy into a robot. It took be a half hour to figure out how to make it into a police car.
The sewing machine I inherited from my seamstress grandma. It is suppose to be fancy and wonderful but I have a hard time getting it to do a simple stitch without bunching up on the back. The pedal is so temperamental and not working all the time. However, I just finished the last stitches to the top of the quilt and I am elated and no one better point out all those mistakes and where the corners don’t match or that I have a dark square next to another dark square.
This whole project has me missing my Grandma D. My sister and cousin have really taken off with sewing and doing wonderful.

I hope she would be proud of me for making the attempts I have, even though I am so intimidated by the sewing at times. I have been trying to do a homemade Christmas as much as I can this year. It has been fulfilling and frustrating at times. I have been making lots of crocheted hot pads and hoping to make some hats to give friends and family. I’m making even tying the quilt fun, right now I’m watching Lord of the Rings while I tie and I’m hoping some family will come over tomorrow to help so we can visit while we tie.

Little miracles

2007-12-12T13:43:00.000-08:00

Monday our faucet in the kitchen just wouldn't turn on. It had been leaking and having problems for a while so my husband had called Moen (which has great customer service by the way) and ordered new parts. It was suppose to be another week before the parts came in and we were just worried what to do. After a whole day without water in the kitchen it was already too much for me. Then my husband got the mail, and what do you think, but the parts had come a whole week early, my husband put everything together that night and it is amazing how smoothly the faucet turns on and off, I could just spend all day turning it on and off (which somedays it seems like I do). That is just one example of a little miracle in our life.

Snow, snow, snow

2007-12-09T11:30:00.000-08:00

It is a winter wonderland here. Everything is completely piled with snow, snow and more snow. Yesterday, while my husband shoveled I got the kids geared up and my son and I made a snowman, our little baby toddled around in her boots (just a little bit too big) and we had a blast, there is so much energy with the first big snow fall. I woke up just excited for Christmas and doing stuff for family.

My mind raced about with all that needed to be done in preparation, hot pads to make, packages sent, my husband's quilt to finish. Anyways, after putting together fake English crackers for Mary's class party I realized it was after 12:30 and remembered it was my good friend's baby shower. I had missed it by almost an hour, I felt so horrible, I had been looking forward to it all week and kept the invitation right by the door so I would see it and remember. I ran over as soon as I could and we had a nice visit and she was very forgiving, but there is no denying the fact I have been losing brain cells and it may be getting worse. She had a beautiful miracle baby boy after having three gorgeous girls and each pregnancy she has so many complications, she was on bedrest with this little boy six months and we all were praying for her.

Then off on errands as a family, no way I was going to drive, the snow was coming down harder and harder. We made it to Target and thought we would run in for a few things. Target is a great one place shopping most of the time, but not yesterday. They didn't even carry mince meat and only had one kind of tread, but we got my daughter some much needed boots. By the time we got out of the store it was a blizzard even my husband could hardly see. We decided to cancel our other plans of driving up the canyon and set off for home.

The kids were so, so excited with the snow we thought we'd venture locally and went sledding at the highschool, even the baby made a run down the hills with Daddy. There is something about the cold and snow you just want to curl up at home with the fire, a movie, hot coco and sweet things, so of course we went to Day's (our local market), and spent too much money on steaks, donuts and cookies, just letting our instincts take over.

We dropped by our friends who we had lent our car (since they their two cars break down at once) just to see how they were doing of course it ended up being over an hour visit. That is what happens when you have two couples that both like to talk and children who go wild having fun together, but so enjoyable. We borrowed a bunch of their movies (saved us a trip to the video store) and went home for the most delicious grilled steak. My Hubby experimented with honey, salt and sugar on the meat Oh, oh so, so good. Then we watched a Christmas movie with the kids, us all curled up in blankets eatting sweets.

Off to bed, my Hubby thought it would be fun to see just what Santa felt like and stuffed a big round pillow in his sweats and zipped up his jacket. Ho, ho, to the kids and read them Good King Wenchelas and waddled around turning to get through doorways and such. We didn't get half of the things on our to do list done, but we sure had fun. Sadly though our baby doll threw up everything in four episodes afterwards, not the perfect way to end the evening but she was so sweet even when she was sick and would cuddle with us. Memories to keep.

Children are fun

2007-12-07T08:51:00.001-08:00

It is so hard as a parent to keep a straight face when you need to be serious with your children, but the situation is so funny. Yesterday Jacob came up to me while I was on the computer and siad, "Mommy, can you help me?" I look over and he was completely tangled in yarn, it wasn't tight or anything and I just wanted to laugh. He had taken a batch of yarn and strewn it all over the family room and and tangled himself in it. After surpressing a laugh I explained it was esspecially important he not put things like string and such around himself esspecially his neck. I am quite expert at untangling yarn but when it got to be around his neck I didn't dare chance making it tight and ended up cutting the yarn, since he had like 20 layers around his neck on top of all the layers surrounding his body.

My baby is toddling all over the place, shuffling her little feet, it is nice because 2 of the 4 teeth coming in have broken through and she is a happier baby. Her favorite thing is to pull all of the books off the shelf and follow me or her dad around. She cuddles with us and it is so cute. My baby doll loves to be held and loved and is so sweet and gives loves right back putting her little head on our shoulders. She has learned how to scream in protest when her siblings take things from her or she is uncomfortable. That has been an adjustment, because she had such a soft cry as a baby I had to put a moniter in her room so I could feel like I could check if she was crying.

My oldest daughter said a very funny and cute thing too. We were at the dinner table and wanted to know if she was going to have a babysitter. The last two nights because of my birthday and a work party we had gone out, and had they had babysitters (neighbors with kids or grandparents). My sweet girl was trying to convince us we needed to go out and that when she sees it is 8:00 she always tells the babysitter she needs to go to bed. My hubby and I both laughted at that. My sweet girl is the very hardest to go to bed every night and is a bit of a night owl. She also told us mom needed her "love time" so we needed go out. I couldn't help it I just laughed and laughed. Isn't that cute, she made it up all on her own. I will sometimes just give her one on one and even rock her and give her time to know I love her and I guess she on her own figured that was my time when I got to go on dates with Daddy.

Starting over

2007-12-05T20:01:00.000-08:00

I was so excited, thought I had found a great storyline for my novel. It still might work, but I just saw the latest Die Hard movie and was disappointed to find that they had used a great portion of my idea for my novel (which was very exciting). I don't want to look like a copy cat so I am going to have to rethink the direction I was going with my novel. Of course the main characters in my novel are a school teacher and a mother of 6, very different then the Bruce Willis hardcore police man type and I hadn't thought of the sudden take down everything approach the bad guys in Die Hard use.

I had a wonderful birthday. I always look at birthdays as a mile stone, a time to grow up just a little bit more make some changes, reevaluate my life, that sort of thing. I have no regrets in my choice of husband, my children, our home I definitely could use my time more wisely, but funny as it sounds, I think I am becoming more efficent time wise so I can get more done and still enjoy a book, a show, even a computer game once in a while. Even better if I could cut back more and focus on more serious things like writing more, being a better scriptorian, more updated, more well read, contribute more.

I'm all about balance and trying to find that perfect balance in life, it has to be contantly changing to be a good balance for where you are that day and what your circumstances are, I think contentment comes with finding the right balances in life, for your own personal life.

My weird imagination

2007-12-03T04:45:00.000-08:00

One thing I've always known I've had is an imagination. My dad said something wise about that "sometimes your greatest strengths can be your greatest weaknesses." I've thought about that often. Sometimes my imagination doesn't allow me to fully live in this world. I have to be careful because when I read a book I literally become the character in the book I really live a life through the character (I have to be extra careful what I read and watch).

Sometimes my imagination would prove I have a hard time growing up. When I was ten I prayed for a year for a pet dragon, God did answer my prayer, but not quite in the way I wanted. I was given the impression that after this life I can create all sorts of things (my imagination will come in really helpful then), and that I shouldn't go about asking for selfish things to test the Lord's promise to answer our prayers. When I was 15, in highschool, I found Neverending Story the book at the library. I secreted it away to my room, made sure no one was around and I wouldn't have any interuptions and opened the book, truly believing for a moment that I would have the same experience Sabastion had literally, physically going into and affecting the story.

I have found imagination can come in handy in parenting, cooking and cleaning. It is amazing some of the fun recipes I've been able to come up with just using what I had on hand. Like my special curry dish. I cube apples, potatoes, turkey or chicken, a bunch of raisins or craisins and dose them with olive oil and curry powder and cook in the oven 350 degrees till done, who would of thought it would taste so good. In parenting it is good to be creative in encouraging your kids in getting things done, teaching them to play, and how to discipline them without hurting your relationship with them. I've found the more I use my imagination with my parenting the better my children respond. Of course cleaning. If I can be creative and redecorate a room, rearrange things and maybe make the cleaning of a room into a piece of art I always am much happier and find greater fulfillment.

I worry and I worry. It seems like my husband can not travel beyond five miles without me without my worry imagination kicking in. I atomatically worry about mugging, crazy drivers, most of all of him being killed and how devistated I would be and how I would want to be there for my children but I would be a basketcase. What if he went into a coma or was injured and how would I respond and the entire senerio goes through my head. When I was sixteen my Dad accidentally took me to a foriegn film that had a horror ending, I couldn't sleep till I collasped for two or three months. You can tell what sort of movies I do not chose to watch.

Imagination does come in great for writing. Of course I have spent a great deal of my adult life overcoming my challenge of not finishing things. I really have to force myself to on long things. I've started about 20 novels and many short stories. I do o.k. on poems and short exerpts, but it is my goal this year to finish to go forward with my imagination and do the longer more challenging writing. Well, that is my exerpt on my weird imagination.

Saturday cleaning

2007-12-01T14:36:00.000-08:00

My son and I went through an entire Mr. Clean sponge today working on getting the crayon, pen and marker off the walls, we only got halfway done when the sponge had completely dissinigrated. The walls did look a little cleaner, my son got a lesson in work, and hopefully this will be less necessary in the future.

Many times you would look at my husband and I as parents and say, wow they must be brand new parents, because we keep making the same mistakes over and over again. We forget, we shouldn't let the kids play till their work is done, we should always make sure the Friday night movie is done by bedtime (because they will still want the whole bedtime routine), and we are not mean parents if we have expectations, and do not have markers in the house even the washable ones. Everytime I am frustrated with my spoiled children, like today when the simplist of tasks made them cry, I can only blame myself. Yet, we are learning and it is getting longer between mistakes, so at least we are on the upside.

Parenting is such a learning process and growing process for me. It gives me insights into my own weaknesses, tantrums, manipulations that I wasn't even aware before till I see them in my kids. I always feel sorry for my oldest sweetheart, the one who is the experiment child the one who has to take the brunt of our mistakes and learning.

Tonight we watched Deck the Halls movie it was really cute and was about the most important thing, time with our families. That is what our kids like most for holidays is quality and quantity time with us unfettered by the daily responcibilties. It was esspecially cute tonight as my little baby doll found some kleenex. She came up to me and kept rubbing it on my face and I just burst out laughing when I realized that she was trying to wipe my nose. She has had a runny nose and so that has been a constant thing we have been doing for her.

Have a wonderful Saturday too.

Mother's night out

2007-11-30T09:10:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful evening. I had a great time with several friends that came over for a mother's night out. We talked about being mothers and how we made the choice to be mothers and what a wonderful thing it is and how appreciative we are for that choice. Sometimes it is nice to get together with other moms, I told my husband this was my work party. We visited, had dinner, cookies for almost three hours. My husband was really good about taking all the kids to the basement and to bed, there were a few interuptions but was nice to have some girl time, it makes me smile and I want to come back to my family afterwards.

Girls need other girls I think. One of the woman made a interesting comment. What we often need as women is a wife. Yes, that sounds weird but what was meant is that sometimes we need to have someone to support us, help us out around the house and with the children and notice what we do and give us appreciation. Our husbands are wonderful but sometimes they can't fully understand what we need, that is why it is nice to get together with other women and have these conversations and appreciate one another.

We also talked about what I call our "psycho moments" those moments where we have emotional breakdowns and are not always rational or thinking straight but what we need most of all is a comforting arm around us, unconditional love, told how much we are appreciated, and feel supported.

We are financially tight right now, just trying to get on top of things, yet at this point in our lives we feel like it is the right thing for me to be home with our children. It is a choice I have made and I have the complete support of my husband. I hope one day my children will appreciate that choice and they are learning from my time spent with them. I am so grateful for my husband, my children, my friends, for being a homemaker and having that choice avalible to me.

It has helped me a lot to know God's will for me, and to have my baby turn a year old. It is amazing how much that helps, to start to feel reconnected again with others. To get involved again, still limited because my family comes first, but I'm writing again, I started this blog, I go to a writer's group, I am involved at church and occasionally helping others besides my own family and it is a good feeling.

Baby's self-destructive day

2007-11-27T17:38:00.000-08:00

Oh, poor baby, I'm going to have to watch you so close
You just can't leave the glass alone when you break your sister's jar, a bandaid for you
You just grab so fast the just opened can and cut your thumb, another bandaid for you
We have enchiladas, fruit, and spinach for dinner, you get hives

Your teeth are coming and you are moaning all day
You are just starting to walk and you keep tipping over and hitting your head
Your so tired and crash into everything
Yet you don't even cry loud, just little moans, the loud crys for bedtime

What a sad, sad day yet here at the end of it your smiling
You cuddle and play with your siblings
You are facinated with everything and everyone
You just stared at storytime at the libary so much excitement

Tornado day

2007-11-26T20:00:00.000-08:00

Buzz through the house swiping up, picking up
Make some calls, dress myself and the children
Feed the calling hungry birds, sending the oldest to school

Rush jobs here and there
Hurry in the car, oh yea, dance class
Opps, the car pool doesn't work out

Fit in grocery shopping and library during dance
Pick up, off to preschool, rush back just in time
Writing group at my house, what have I written to share?

Oh, no, the jam jar fell, smashed all over the driveway!
Friends already here, quick, put the refrigorated stuff away
Smile calmly, greet my friends

How peaceful the baby sleeps, while we visited
Now to the computer, then look out for the bus,
Type up invitations for a mother's night out

Help with piano, help with homework, help get snacks
Drive around to deliver invitations with the kids
Home to make the dough for pizza

Husband home, hurray, hurray!!
We all cook, set the table, and eat together
I forgot the get-together at Grandpa's?

Finish Home evening, jump in the car in time to say "hi"
Grandparents, extended family, let them see the baby walk
Home for baths, books and bed

All in a tornado day

Sundays

2007-11-25T12:01:00.000-08:00

It was a little sad to see our company leave today, but nice to have a quiet Sunday afternoon, just slow and time to write. I think I am going to write a letter today, being inspired by Lynne. I came home from church to my sweet husband asleep with our sick baby curled up asleep in his arms, I had to take a picture, it was the cutest thing. I may be funny but I find my husband so attractive when he is helping with the kids and so sweet with them, when he is making breakfast, the more he is around, it has been a wonderful holiday I am already regretting tomorrow and how life goes on but I will treasure all these memories, frozen moments of time where we just enjoy being together.
Sundays are often crazy, rushed filled mornings getting myself and the family dressed, fed and supplies put together for church. It seems like I wrestle with children all through church my children and my primary class. Yet, I think I am perfectly suited for wild, distracted children, I really understand them, I get restless and want to move just as much as they do, I love their creativity and desires for attention and they are so sweet and I always hope they get twice as much as they seem to get out of the meetings, they have wonderful spirits and it is so nice to see how attached they are to their families and how much they learn of love at home. Today the music leader had all the children sit on the floor and talked in a soft voice to them and gave chances for all the children to participate. It was amazing how my own children responded, they were quiet, they sat, they raised their hands it was so refreshing and I thought, Oh, there is hope. As a mom you want other adults to know what sweet children you have even if they don't always allow teacher to see it, and it is nice when your children let that part of themselves be seen.

Thanksgiving

2007-11-23T10:21:00.000-08:00

A day of pie, and family. Homemade pizza pie instead of turkey, my husband did most of the work, a small family dinner just four adults and three children, how nice and quiet, games, building, reading, watching stories being built. Of course pumpkin pie, pecan pie, and apple pie, you always need to have those. We've been watching The Storyteller a Jim Henerson DVD all sorts of folk stories we really enjoyed from the Library. One of my favorite lines "...whispers turned into a kisses" referring to a love story. How I love having my children home, my husband home, family and neighbors around us. We haven't had the money to travel or go do all the things I would like to do with the kids, but we can sit under the stars, play baseball in the back yard, go to the local museum, play games of legos and crystal climbers and appreciate all the beauties of nature around us.

Thanksgiving on its way

2007-11-20T14:20:00.000-08:00

I take my son to storytime at the library, then feeling up to it I invite our neighbor girl at the last moment. My wild son becomes calm and even stands in line holding her hand, sits still all through storytime I am amazed it is wonderous what a calming friend can do for my son. Once my son is on the bus, I finish his leftover lunch and fell light as a feather, shopping doesn't have to be a big long ordeal, I go while the older two are at school, my one year old is so good and loves this quiet time with mommy. It is amazing only a half hour at Costco and a half hour at Target for shopping, who ever heard of such a thing, and I even stayed in budget, no little bribing toys or snacks I wasn't planning on it was so great. My baby even fell asleep on the way home, what an adventure. Our plans for Thanksgiving have changed three or four times, but one thing is staying the same this year, a quiet small Thanksgiving. To be completely honest Thanksgiving isThanksgiving because it is time with our family. I love seeing extended family, but esspecially now with three children just if it was us with no one else I would be so happy just to play games, watch a movie, eat good food and be together, that is all I want.
Happy Thanksgiving

2007-11-19T15:04:00.000-08:00

As I pick my son up from the bus, a crowd of kids gather round like seeing a rock star step out of his tour bus. Not many of the kids around here get a bus from school and it is an adventure to have this preschooler having the coveted ride. As I set the sleepy boy down on the ground to go play with his sister I get a head butt (unintentional) to the nose. I look up to see the moon in the clear blue sky calling me. Then I'm brought down to earth with afterschool snacks and to be an audience for the recital the children want to play for me. The moon can wait another day, but I think for my artist date this week maybe I'll just sit outside and gaze at the moon, and stars in the volumist space above.

When I was 7 8 and 9

2007-11-19T15:00:00.000-08:00

Years Seven and Eight and Nine
Miss. Nielson, later Mrs. Varterless engaged to be married a little distracted
A new and young teacher, questioning things after teaching us
First and only time I ever cheated, feeling so bad
New school, Edgemont, new friends to make, feeling shy
Living in a rental house for two years right next to Grandparents D
Every Saturday the cleanup monster coming to our playroom
Building forts and castles in our large basement getaway, imagining
Picking cherries in the back yard and climbing the tree
My dad going every Friday to Price to be their one Dermatologist there
Our family vacation going on a train to Price, staying in a hotel, meeting Dad
Coming home late, working so hard but still helping with homework and bedtime stories
Dad involved in young men’s, taking me to the Spanish lessons for their Mexico trip
First time coming home to a empty house, worried, praying so hard
Learning my brother J was in a horrible bike accident, chased by a dog
His tongue hanging by it’s skin, my dad having to get another doctor to sew it
Afterwards milkshakes, yogurt and lots of attention for him
Starting piano lessons, my mom working so hard with me
Helping to set the table, learning to wipe off counters and tables
Enjoying family time cleaning up and helping mom with laundry
Helping my dad at his office off of Canyon Road, getting paid
Learning of my parents anniversary and what it was
Waking up at 4:00 in the morning to cut up carrots and do laundry
I put the carrots in the oven (sprinkled with brown sugar) to look like a 10
My siblings woke up too and helped, my parent’s smiles will always be remembered
Third grade teacher, Mrs. Fisher, being so nervous
Having an imaginary giraffe pet friend
Making good friends, P and K and Z
Wearing Princess Lea and Laura Engels hair styles
Being baptized, feeling so happy and pure
At first sad I wasn’t baptized on my birthday, parent’s gone
Special baptism dress, getting mad at brother at the breakfast after
Feeling so bad, but learning about repentance and feeling clean again
Getting my glasses and seeing things so clear, so amazed
Lots of nightmares of monsters, fires separating me from my family
Liking to sleep on the floor, sharing a room with my sister’s M and R
Feeling most comfortable with my family happy to play with just my siblings

2007-11-19T14:59:00.001-08:00

My baby sister
Now on a mission, speaking Portugese
Loving the people, the sweet children
Eating new foods, cutting her hair
I remember her as a baby, patting my back
Her second mother, people would call me
I’d play with her in her crib, making her laugh
Wearing the hippo bathing suit as a toddler
Strutting, the queen of the family, the owner of us all
Falling off the banister, scaring our hearts
Always creative, curious, an artist
In every piece of writing, every drawing, every conversation
A uniqueness all her own, her style found
So passionate, a lioness for the underdog
So animated, so full of life and righteous indignation
So much heart, so much humility even in her passion
Too hard on herself, guilt ridden, afraid of her own mind
A blind miracle worker, doing more good then she can see
A memorable person, touching people’s minds in a special way
Honest, choosing the right, an example for us all
Righteousness is her strength
Tall, beautiful, elegant and graceful in her own way
Always so interesting, always informing herself
A good friend to so many, a good friend type
So loved, so special, my sister

The amazing adventures of Astromom

2007-11-19T14:42:00.000-08:00

Astromom
As I pick up the clothes off the floor and heave another heavy load of laundry down the stairs. I start feeling sorry for myself. All I am is the housekeeper, the cook, mainly everyone’s servant. Jacob comes over to me with his cute kissable cheeks, I can’t help but give them a peck and decipher his words as he tells me how he wants to help put the soap in the washer machine, he is fascinated by anything mechanical and likes anything to do with Mommy. He ends his explanation by telling me how he likes my hair and gives me his adoring smile.
No, I am a mom and a homemaker and I wouldn’t want to leave any of it for the most career successful job in the world, even to be an astronaut (one of my favorite dreams). Of course, if the opportunity happen to show itself, we would be the first family to live on the moon, I already warned my husband of this. I have a whole space station planned out with plenty for a family to do, functioning as a unit, working together to live in space.
As I cuddle and rock little Emily while she has a bottle and starts to close her eyes, I think more on this idea. Yes, my space station would have to have plants, lots of plants so it would have a self-sustaining oxygen supply. Gordon would do the math and spelling, grammar with the kids, I’d do the reading, science and exploring with the kids. We would work as a family preparing space meals, adding a few fresh ingredients from the plants. We would have to exercise and be extra healthy since white blood cells seem to go away when you are in space so it’s like having AIDS for a time period. No, we wouldn’t want to live up there too long, it just wouldn’t be safe or the best idea, but sure would make a great long vacation and bring our family even closer. O.k. let’s do it. Wait... I don’t think that is an option yet. Maybe it will be when the kids are teenagers.
I finally get Emily to sleep and carefully, so carefully lay her in her crib and tip-toe out of the room. I quickly warn Jacob not to go upstairs and encourage him to be quiet as he can. Of course, Mary coming home yells, bangs the door and runs about the house waking Emily up and brings her to me saying "I found her awake when I looked in her room."
"That is o.k.". I tell Mary, "but because you brought her down, you know you need to watch her for a while. " Mary then starts to play so sweet with her sister and makes her brother laugh, I go to the kitchen and contentedly listen to the noise. This is heaven, my children happy, our family being together. Gordon surprises us by coming home early at 4:00 I guess he had Young Men’s at 4:30 today to rake leaves, but he has just enough time to give me a kiss and push the kids on the tire swing, where they scream and laugh and have so much fun. We make arrangements for dinner in just over an hour and I look for what I need for the Target brand hamburger helper (my families favorite meal).
My life isn’t so bad, I am so happy. I have a husband who loves me who loves our children, our children love
one another, I am able to stay home and do my own schedule, I love my family. Yes, we have struggles and challenges, yes we are continually learning, often through our mistakes. Yes, I have the most wild children ever, but who have so much energy life and are so sweet. The moon can wait, heaven is right here.